#where my ft peeps at

[xfulmen]

thinking about reviving this blog, and maybe my erza one as well

[lovieku]

MOTHERFUCKIN’ TRAIN WRECK! ⋆ 정국

𐙚 if you were my boyfriend… and you were my girlfriend…

when renowned fuckboy jeon jeongguk catches feelings, he loses his mind. only when it comes to you, though.

based on this ask

from the grande series ୨ৎ

pairing: fuckboy!jk x fem!reader

genre: fwb au

warnings: small smutty moments (cunnilingus, fingering, tiny boob play), angst, fluffi maybe idk, whipped and jelly koo, ft. namjoon!!!, oblivious oc, deep down she feels it too but jk is simply too much of a simp so it doesn’t look like it at first, he’s also so petty and sassy, jokes about ending it if oc doesn’t give him a chance </3, he’s just a little shit, peep the lyrics from boyfriend hehe, oh btw happy ending!!!

word count: 18k

a/n: wowww i’m so sorry for this pile of nonsense, it’s so bad i vomited a little in my mouth. i hate every single thing about it but i didn’t wanna leave you guys starved. i love u sm and thank u for the support, but u’re allowed to leave hate asks for what u’re about to read rn ❤️ also i’m SO SORRY for being unable to write a jungkook who isn’t a simp

🏷️ perm taglist: @ceellliiinee @jaytheatiny @dolligguk @luvismenu @theyloveyams @stillwjk-channie-lixie @bookstoread199 @girlygguk @vieviela @myngiii @angelxkoo @nnybtitts08 @mpbrinkss @https-mei @lyywst @mhdelu @apobangpogirlyyy @khadeeeeej @awrkive

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Jeongguk was only supposed to clean you up. That’s what he calls it when his angelic face finds its place between your spread legs, sinful eyes locking with yours, paired with a smirk you can hardly ever survive.

After all, he’s a man of simple devices. Why bother fetching a towel when he can use his own mouth? When he can let his tongue lap at your juices, slurp every last trace, have an excuse to taste you again, and again, and again?

It’s barely even effective as a way to clean you up, of drying the slick mess that sticks to your inner thighs from cumming three times under his merciless doings— you both know that. Then, how does he expect you not to break a fourth when he runs his wet muscle so torturously along your slit, getting ever more soaked?

Jeongguk is not really trying to end the night. He’s drawing it out. He already had you unraveling in phases— first on his fingers, then all over his cupid lips, ending with you convulsating just another time around his thick length.

It was rough, left purplish marks of his harsh hold digging into your sides, a faint trace of a forbidden hickey just under your collarbones, where you can easily hide it.

In all fairness, he couldn’t help it.

It was you who provoked him. You always do, getting under his skin, teasing him about his skills, downgrading them with playful indifference and nothing more than a meh, as Jeongguk rasps in your ear, clearly affected by your session of foreplay when asking, “Does this make you feel good?”

You’ll be sent straight to hell for lying like that, with seemingly no remorse, but you’re unable to resist the dangerous game and the familiar thrill that comes from it. Nothing compares to the dark wave that takes over his hooded eyes, his motions ever more intentional, almost overwhelming.

He moves to prove something to you, to show you there’s no one quite like him, even with all the guys in your phone, on your lips, inside your sheets.

Jeongguk is your fuckbuddy, and your friend on top of the rest. So, when he first laid his lips on yours, the bottom line plumper than his cupid’s bow, it had taken a great amount of alcohol to flow through both of your veins and blur the lines, let instinct take over.

From there, it was like you couldn’t help yourselves; the physical attraction was undeniable, it’s what brought you here in between the mess of his bed. If you ignore the silly crush you had on him during the first year of college, this was perfect.

Your fuckbuddy contract (Jeongguk hates calling you that, he prefers my friend who makes me cum a lot) includes a heavy emphasis on a no-strings-attached relationship, that can be interrupted whenever one of the two feels uncomfortable, and that should not come before your friendship. On top of all, you both are not exclusive. No commitment, no jealousy. You’re perfectly free of meeting other people, fucking other people. Unless you’re going to date one of those, of course. Then, bye-bye friend who makes me cum a lot.

These rules were established almost a year ago, after your hands couldn’t help themselves from roaming hastily all over his body, pulling him impossibly closer. It was the second time you allowed yourself to feel him, following the night when he initiated things under the clouded lights of a club.

You couldn’t help it. You had been thinking of that moment for weeks now, and when you were left alone with him in his dorm room, pulse racing, it’s all your thoughts were reduced to. Kiss him, kiss him, fuck him.

You felt guilty. A friend shouldn’t be thinking of another friend like you were about Jeongguk. Especially after you promised yourself you wouldn’t let your buried crush resurface and ruin what you had built— even if the memory of that infatuation is honestly just laughable now (you would never think of dating him, pft).

But Jeongguk, ever the gentlest when it comes to you, assured you it was okay to feel as you did, because he felt it too. And was dying to touch you again. His words, not yours.

It’s only sexual. A casual, sexual relationship. Two friends who happen to find each other irresistible.

So when he reacts with a flash of competitiveness at the mere suggestion he might not be the best you’ve ever had, it’s… weird, the feeling that overcomes you. You acknowledge it for a split second, as if you’re searching to name that something inside you stirring, but before you can, it seems to make you fall apart immediately, your grip tighter, back arched, moans high-pitched.

He basks in his silent victory, in the factual demonstration that he in fact can’t be compared to all your other guys.

Except, there’s actually no other guys.

Back when this friends-with-benefits arrangement first started, you were occasionally fooling around with an older guy from campus named Mingyu. Jeongguk knew him, given that they’re in the same photography class. He was also aware of your casual fling with him. And yet, Jeongguk still kissed you. Actually, did so much more than just that.

Either way, the line has always been clear: he has no right to question who you spend time with and what you engage in, Jeongguk isn’t a saint either.

You love him, you truly do. With time, he has become one of your closest friends, and you honestly can’t see yourself getting through college without him.

But there’s no denying the fuckboy allegations, the ones that are constantly thrown at him all around campus. He is a fuckboy. It must be his easy charm, flirting as natural as breathing, tripping out his tongue with seemingly not much thought. At some point, the majority of the girls in your campus got to have their moment with Jeongguk, either because of mindless teasing or one night stands, occasionally turning into casual arrangements.

You have accepted it as part of who he is. You know his fuckboy habits haven’t magically changed when you two started fucking. He doesn’t really spend much time talking about it with you, occasionally mentioning his doings every now and then, but you don’t need to know; his friends and the people whispering in hallways and lecture halls fill in the blanks.

That is exactly why you’ve let Jeongguk believe that your sexual life is equally as busy, floods of boys from your inbox to your sheets, as if you aren’t too much of a hopeless romantic to even think of anything that isn’t exclusively monogamous.

But this isn’t the case. Jeongguk isn’t yours, you aren’t his. It’s just about sex, and you’ve accepted that. You don’t want anything more from him. You tell yourself the only reason you’re not seeing anyone else is that the idea of it makes you uneasy. That you’re more than satisfied with Jeongguk being your friend-turned-into-fuckbuddy, and you don’t need other ones.

Jeongguk is more than enough. Oh, he is.

“Fuck, Gguk. You’re gonna make me cum— Ah, shit— again.”

Your head is thrown back in his pillow, legs weakly tightening around his head nestled so close to your core, and it’s clear his goal has completely shifted from getting you clean and neat when the tip of his tongue moves to flicker on your sensitive nub, relentlessly abusing it with casual kissing and sucking.

He opens his mouth to take more of you, his wet muscle tracing your slit and teasing your entrance for— sadly —the shortest second, and the way he hums approvingly against you brings you even closer to the breaking point.

You’re a fragile mess, overstimulated from the previous orgasms but desperate to chase yet another climax, his hands roaming up to find your breast only spurring you further.

Jeongguk knows you by now, and is aware of all the subtle gestures that make you come undone under him. He knows just what to do to push you over the edge, and when to do it exactly.

You’re a sucker for dirty talk and praise, and occasionally, when the ideal situation comes, you love being degraded. It’s a side of you that only ever arises during sex, mind hazed and irrational, the delirious need for release clouding all your usually composed senses.

At first, he teased you for it. Not because he’s not as much of a fan as you are of talking during sex, but because he never pictured you to be the loud type. And you truly are.

Jeongguk pinches your nipples in hopes of you getting the message and lowering your volume, but it only makes you whine higher, your moans surely not going unnoticed by the other students in the dorm.

It can only be worse when he decides to speak against you, his voice a low, almost unintelligible growl, “Pussy’s so fuckin’ good. All mine, fuck. Want to taste your cum once again, c’mon babe. Give it to me.”

And you, always obliging and well-behaved, let go for a fourth time, hips furiously rutting against his face, his words making your surroundings spin, the way his nose would brush your sensitive nub having your eyes roll to the back of your head.

Your gasp is strained when he retreats with one last wet stripe between your puffy lips, sealing the orgasm with a kiss on your clit, and when he finds your face again there’s a cockish grin spreading across his, chin coated with your juices.

He immediately meets your mouth then, sharing your own taste, and you both moan shamelessly at the action.

Jeongguk collapses next to you, his body warm and relaxed, pulling you closer by your waist and almost making you straddle him with the force of his hold. He sighs into your hair, kissing the root of it, “You did amazing for me, pretty girl.”

A pleasant shiver runs down your spine at the praise and the pet name rolling off his tongue with ease. It’s ridiculous.

With your cheek pressed against his chest, you glance up at him through your lashes and a lazy smile threatens to take over your face, but your playful pout is more prominent, almost convincing, “I’m never letting you do that trick on me again. Next time, I’m just going to take a shower like a normal person.”

The laugh he lets out is rich and unguarded, his chest rumbling under your ear, and it makes you pull away with a mock glare, brows knitted together as you swat at his toned stomach, “Don’t laugh. I hated that.”

His dark eyes soften as they dance with amusement, the corners crinkling, and he hums, going along with your blatant lie from the way your lips struggle to contain a grin, “Oh, absolutely. You were screaming in horror, couldn’t stand it.”

“Whatever,” you mutter incoherently, standing up to escape from the inevitable loss. The slick between your thighs reminds you of why you need that shower in the first place, causing you to awkwardly wobble your way to his bathroom.

Jeongguk watches you with a lopsided smirk, stretched out on the bed, his brown hair a messy halo on the pillow, and it completes the concept he goes perfectly with, the one of a devil dressed up as an angel, even more when his voice drips with faux desperation, “Hey, come back. I need my cuddles.”

“You’ll live,” you toss back before pulling the door shut behind you and stepping into the warm embrace of the shower. The hot water stings at first, then soothes you, sliding down your skin.

Jeongguk already knows the outcome of what he’s about to do isn’t going to turn in his favor, but he tries his luck regardless, standing up hastily and limply making his way to his bathroom door.

He only knocks twice, then puts on his best begging voice, talking loud enough to be heard over the shower, “Toots?”

“No!”

A scoff filters through the steamy air, followed by the unmistakable creak of the door handle as he steps inside. He’s relentless, voices his thoughts with the kind of logic only he would find convincing, “C’mon, we’ll save water!”

You stand with your back to him, his body wash traveling down your skin in soap bubbles, the scent filling the air, and you let your shoulders shrug. You don’t turn around. Number one, because you’ll give in. Number two, because you can hear the pout on his lips, and that’s the reason for number one.

You try your best to sound annoyed, “Jeongguk, just leave. You don’t even pay for it.”

“Our poor earth pays for it,” he quips, stepping further into the cramped space, body still bare, and that’s maybe a number three for you, “Because you wanna be so unfair to your best friend and leave him out in the cold.”

“You’re not my best friend.”

His gasp is dramatic, you even hear it echo through the tiny room, and you fight hard to contain the giggle locked inside you, but it escapes in the shape of a snort, which you quickly try to conceal by clearing your throat. You even further go with the lie, “You heard me.”

“Unbelievable. I’m kicking you out the second you’re done here,” he tries his best menacing tone, the threat barely harsh and effective, closing the door behind his back with an exaggerated thump, followed by unintelligible grumbling.

You take your sweet time in his now steamy bathroom. You shampoo twice, deliberately squeezing out a generous amount of his own fancy product in your palm, making sure the squeak of the bottle is heard through the door so he knows you’re helping yourself. His high-quality hair dryer blasts warm air over your damp hair until it’s only mildly wet. And you even rummage around his cabinet, indulging in his collection of expensive skincare creams. These little luxuries are exactly why you never pass a single occasion to shower over at his dorm room.

And the second you’re done in there, he doesn’t kick you out like he threatened. It takes a moment for him to move his attention from his phone to your figure, wrapped around in his fluffy robe, and he doesn’t even try to keep up the menacing act. Still spread on his ruined bed, his furrowed brows relax, and his lips break into a grin. He scans your face, then giggles, “You’ve got a massive pimple on your forehead.”

“Fuck you. I’m taking one of your hoodies.”

“It’s called borrowing,” even in the midst of checking out your freshly-washed naked body, now being stripped from his bathrobe, he’s still committed to the game of banter you two always play.

“It’s not if I’m not giving it back,” you counter, voice muffled by the fabric of one of his many black sweatshirts you’re already pulling over your head, quickly shuffling into your jeans, helping them up with some small hops that make him grin.

He doesn’t seem bothered by your comeback, too used to losing his own clothes to your closet; rather, he watches you move with what seems like hurry around his dimly lit room. He shifts higher, letting the sheets slip to reveal his still bare, and slightly sweaty torso, “Wanna hang out together at the party tomorrow?”

”Hmm, I’ll just see you there,” you don’t pay him much attention, using your phone camera as a mirror to wipe away any smudged mascara under your eyes. “I’ve already got a partner, actually.”

Jeongguk fully sits up now, vision a little blurry from the hasty and sudden movement, phone forgotten, “A partner?”

The way you casually let a smile tug at your lips while talking about a man is new, “Yeah. A guy from my English class asked me to go with him. He’s pretty cute.”

You’re too busy shoving your belongings in your bag and mentally cataloging every single item to notice the expression your best friend is currently sporting, his jaw tightening almost imperceptibly. Tank top, makeup, laptop… where the fuck is— oh, here. Lip balm. What else?

Jeongguk thinks you’re forgetting something deathly important. A fucking explanation, maybe? He’s known you to occasionally fool around with random guys, but he thought it was just that. Occasional and random. When did it get to having a partner? That sounds silly. Or maybe a little too formal, a little too real. What the fuck does having a partner even entail?

You’re blissfully unaware of the stubborn storm taking over Jeongguk’s thoughts, especially because you’re not exactly sparing him a second glance, moving with single-minded focus, hurrying to leave. Because apparently it’s so bad to want to spend the night with your best friend. Share a bed, watch a movie, talk gossip (it’s been so long since you’ve updated him the way only you can about the latest campus stories, ugh). Amazing, yes, that’s totally fine with Jeongguk.

And he does manage to sound unbothered, “What’s his name?”

“Namjoon.”

Jeongguk focuses on your slim fingers slipping your lip balm into the front pocket of your bag, syllabes leaving his lips in a slow mumble, “Ah, Namjoon. I know him. I guess.”

Fucking Kim Namjoon. Of course he knows him. 6 feet tall, polite, model student Kim Namjoon. Shit. Great choice. No, really, he’s the perfect catch.

“Hm? Well, I think he’s very nice. And hot as fuck.”

He grimaces, “Gross.”

“You’re one to talk,” pulling the hood over your head, you finally meet his eyes. You’re completely oblivious to the thoughts gnawing at him, so you think his disappointment is only caused by your next words, “I should get going now.”

“What? You’re not staying over for dinner?” The way he looks up at you with doe, puppy-dog eyes almost makes you trip on your own resolution, but you only ruffle his hair from your stance next to his bed, hoping the small action is enough to satisfy your hunger. Not for dinner.

“Nah, sorry Gguk. Gotta get up early for English class.”

He scoffs, moving stubbornly from your soothing touch, “Sure. English class with Joohyuk.”

“…Namjoon.”

“Right, that’s what I said. Namsun.”

You raise an eyebrow, half-laughing, “No, it’s Namjoon.”

“Namgi.”

“Namjoon.”

“Whatever, don’t care.” The words have barely any space to roll out through his pout, and along with his petty little slip-ups it’s the most childish act you’ve seen him pull so far. To be completely honest, he seems to break a new record every other day.

You fight the urge to roll your gaze at the ceiling, finding it impossible to deal with pouty, hungry and cuddle-starved Jeongguk. You sigh, muttering, “Insufferable.”

“Give me a kiss, brat.”

The teasing comes so naturally that for a second you don’t ponder on the demand being something a normal friend wouldn’t exactly ask. But it isn’t one you’ll deny.

You bend down to meet him as easily as he let the request out, muttering a playful Oh, I’m the brat now? before brushing his pushed lips with yours in a sweet, short kiss, enough to draw a soft sigh from both of you. You hum against it, voice warm with something that contradicts your words entirely, “I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“Sure,” rolling your eyes, you grant his cocky figure that little win, too tired to put up a fight, even if you almost rethink it when he confidently leans back against the pillows, smirking up at you. You decide to cut it short, it’s for the best, throwing your bag over your shoulder as well as one last look at him, before readying yourself for the walk of shame through his frat.

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Namjoon is, by all standards, the perfect guy. He’s genuine, smiles sweetly with his dimples showing and his eyes crinkling into crescents that make him seem both wise and youthful.

Careful, even protective over you, making sure you’re comfortable. With your drink, with your seat, with your conversation.

Almost too attentive, which should calm your nerves, but instead you feel yourself unable to fully let go. Open up to him like he’s doing with you, like you think you want to do.

You’re not sure. You can’t feel that mysterious spark everybody talks about. That spark Jeongguk admitted he’s never felt with anyone so far, no matter the number of girls he’s been with. The one he’s confessed he’s desperate to feel. The one you hope he can find.

Wait, why are you thinking about Jeongguk?

Said boy has yet to acknowledge you, standing across from you in the crowded living room of your mutual friend’s house. Each weekend, the same ritual brings you back here, whenever Taehyung’s parents head off for one of their rich-people, luxurious trips. The space is familiar, a backdrop to countless parties, all too often ending in someone’s drunken confessions and stolen kisses that’d become the talk of campus until the next party came around.

As tradition would want, with the clock ticking its way past midnight, you’d be drunk out of your mind already. Tonight, however, you’re not even sure you want to be here.

Namjoon is keeping close tabs on your drinks, monitoring each glass you reach for, and you know he means well; ordinarily, you’d find it sweet, endearing even. But it only seems to heighten your anxiety now. It just reminds you of how out of place this whole thing feels. You want to drown your awkwardness in a wave of liquid courage, and the irony isn’t lost on you: the very reason why you’re nervous is keeping you from numbing it.

Namjoon makes you way too aware of yourself. You wish your first proper hang out wasn’t at a filthy frat party, the blasting music causing you both to lean into each other to make conversation. The proximity makes your palms disgustingly clammy, and you hope he doesn’t reach for your hand.

You also think this isn’t the type of scenario that best suits Namjoon. You would have loved to be with him somewhere softer, with less noise and more light, talking over coffee instead of loud techno, his poetic speech lulling you into infatuation. Maybe then, this would have gone like you had imagined it might. Like you wanted it to go, just to prove something to yourself. You’re still not sure what exactly.

But this house — this party — is a natural habitat for people like Jeongguk. It’s a playground he navigates with ease, his charisma amplified by the darkened rooms and faint cigarette smoke that seems to follow him, just like everyone around him. They exist solely to orbit his mood.

It’s as he saunters back inside after yet another smoke break that you spot him again, his focus entirely on whatever girl is currently at his side. With Namjoon leaving to grab a drink for the two of you to share, you take the short moment to be a shameless creep and study your friend’s movements from the other side of the room.

You can’t help but feel a sting of irritation. Jeongguk is fully aware you’re here. You’d texted him earlier, just something casual to say you’d arrived, maybe even expecting him to meet you or give you a quick wave. Instead, there’d been no reply.

Just like the TikToks you’d sent last night, after you told him you wouldn’t be staying over at his, that also went ignored. You didn’t think too much of it, figured it was probably one of his petty acts. You aren’t any better: it’s not like you’ll go up to him to say hi, not after he ignored you. Those videos were funny, too. He’s the one missing out.

But now, your eyes squinted to try and get the best possible view on each detail of the scene in front of you, what you notice is nothing about him and everything about who he’s currently spending the time he could have used to acknowledge you with.

It’s not just whatever girl. It’s Haeun.

You haven’t seen them hanging out together in what feels like months, and frankly, you’re thrown. Maybe that’s also the reason why he suddenly had no time for you. You scoff.

You’re just confused, really. Jeongguk didn’t mention a thing about her, and it’s not like he’s ever kept his hookups or flings a secret. But Haeun was never just that. She was the one he seemed almost ready to get in his first serious relationship with, the one girl you thought could make him forget all about his usual habits.

When Jeongguk had first started hanging out with Haeun, he’d seemed uncharacteristically interested. You naturally found yourself rooting for him, hoping he’d take a leap and start something real after many failed attempts.

At that point, your casual arrangement with him had been going on for a while, but you knew it wasn’t built to last. You’d expected it to end sooner rather than later, and you were okay with that. You just wanted him to be happy with himself and his choices.

But on the night he was supposed to take Haeun out on a date, the one that could have changed everything, it’s like a magic vacuum turned on and sucked all his progress away. He’d shown up in front of your door instead. No explanations, no details about what had happened; he didn’t want to talk. He only wanted to be near you and sink into silence.

That night you laid next to him, his head on you, hair sprawled out on your stomach, and said absolutely nothing.

Since then, he hadn’t mentioned Haeun at all, and you’d assumed it was over. The right side of your brain was irrationally glad for that, greedily geeking at the prospect of still getting to keep Jeongguk close in ways that go over a simple friendship. In ways that have you thanking God for not taking your friend’s sex skills away from you; in ways that have your nose scrunching whenever he leaves small, delicate pecks on the side of your neck as you watch a movie cuddled in his embrace. If he had decided to go on that date, you would be denied all of this luxury.

The left side of your brain is a little less greedy, a little more rational. The half of your mind responsible for keeping some logic instilled in you even thought it could have been a good thing for Jeongguk to experience a different side of relationships.

You’ve always sensed there to be deeper reasons beneath Jeongguk’s carefree front. You’ve watched him jump from girl to girl, dip in and out of flings with seemingly no thought, as if he’s not trying to bury issues he should find a different answer for, to avoid whatever insecurities he’s run too far away from to face.

He’s never had to spell it out for you. You never pressed him on the topic either. And you think he’s grateful for it, for your silence that offers him the stability he won’t admit he needs, for simply staying and understanding. For allowing him to be vulnerable.

You wish you could give him more than that quiet comfort. Wonder if you should try your luck and push him to see that he does deserve something real— more than the distractions he uses to keep his fears at bay.

Jeongguk would make an incredible boyfriend. He always spots the small details, the slight changes in your mood, and he picks them up before you can even notice yourself, caring in a silent way that doesn't go unnoticed. Not by you.

It’s easy to imagine him being the kind of partner who’d cater to his girl’s needs effortlessly, even in quiet, even if hidden. You know he could be that person if he could just let anyone in beyond sex. When he’ll find the one, it’ll be clear it’s all he was made for.

Right now though, if anyone were to ask you that, you’d advise them to just go and look for another one, because he’s a little, lying piece of shit. You’re just a tad bit upset about it, if your crossed arms and furrowed brows are anything to go by.

You don’t understand why he’s now there, standing next to the girl he himself stood up, the one he looked ready to fix everything for, and then wasn’t. Leaning in close as if nothing had ever happened.

Why couldn’t he tell you, at least give you a heads-up if he was reconnecting with her? You know it shouldn’t bother you as much as it does, but the fact that he’s hiding it stings. Are you overthinking this?

When he lifts his head from her ear and scans the room, his eyes landing right on yours for a brief second just to look away, you don’t think you are. His attention shifts back to Haeun as if he hadn’t seen you at all. What the fuck?

You question what’s the point of having eyes to see when you are now forced to witness Jeongguk leaving the room with Haeun hanging her draggy weight on his arm, his smile cockish as he helps her up by her waist, fingers digging dangerously close to the curve of her perfectly shaped peach.

Their chemistry is undeniable, hands finding skin with unpracticed ease. It must be the way Jeongguk can effortlessly work his charm with any girl he deems attractive enough to fuck, his smirk and the way he lets his nose scrunch almost timidly, as if you can’t see right through him, making women potty in his sculpted hands.

The prospect of your best friend getting laid by the girl he was almost ready to change it all for should make you happy. Smile, at least.

Instead, you frown, mindlessly taking long sips from the straw in your glass and letting it stir your too watered-down cocktail that lacks any real flavor. You don’t even try to find answers as to how another drink landed right on the counter you rest your back on, but you’re glad for it.

You’re more upset at the fact that he decided not to tell you anything. You would have helped him through it, supported him, advised him on what to do, how to move in such a situation. But even if he didn’t need any of this, you would have appreciated just knowing. From him.

The ways in which the two of you are intertwined right at this moment don’t exactly allow him to completely leave you unaware of his actions. It’s not fair.

But then, are you even supposed to feel like this in the first place? Is only sex supposed to have this impact on you? Is even the smallest cell in his brain producing a thought that might take him back to you, and could it compare to a third of what you think and feel?

Does he not get that tingly sensation with you, ‘cause he’s used to it? ‘Cause you’re nothing too different nor special from all the choice he has laid at his feet, nothing out of the usual routine?

A gentle hand on your arm jolts you out of your thoughts. The touch is delicate, but the way it pulls you from your spiral is rough, making you stumble on the already wobbly stool you’re sitting on. When you look to your side, Namjoon meets you with a warm smile.

You hadn’t even noticed him being back next to you, and you figure that’s probably how that drink found its way in your hands. You’re a deer caught in headlights as you look at him, then down at the almost empty glass, then back at the boy. Your eyes widen impossibly more, and you struggle with finding a louder volume to your voice, almost fading with the music, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to finish this all by myself.”

You remember him saying he’d get a drink for the two of you to share before leaving you with your haunting thoughts. He just laughs in a way that should soothe your nerves, but it doesn’t, “It’s okay. You look like you needed it. I’m getting another one for me and catching up with some of my friends over there. I’ll be back in a bit, alright?”

“Yeah, totally. No problem,” your words roll out your tongue in a slurred hurry, face already turning to the opposite side of the room, and you’re not even sure what you’re agreeing on. You just feel Namjoon slip away from the seat next to yours again.

The brief interaction was enough for Jeongguk to have time to completely disappear from your strict observing, and just like the boy who should have had your undivided attention tonight, he equally slips away. From your vision, from the party. And from you. He’s with Haeun now, after all. And you’re alone.

Being truthful, Jeongguk is once again slipping away from his problems only. He doesn’t know how he ended up with Haeun by his side, but when he found your big, confused eyes in the midst of what should have been his escape for the night, he thinks he could name a few reasons.

It’s suffocating, the grip you have on him. He can almost feel one of your slim, delicate hands around his throat. He’s a dirty little sadist, of course he enjoys the pain. But he shouldn’t, so he runs from it until his back hits the wall, and the hold only gets tighter.

There’s nothing to do but face the truth. And you’re in front of him, eyes lost and inviting him to tell you. What should be easy for him to say, what he owes you. But the words get stuck in his throat, right where you’re pressing, and he feels like he might stop breathing.

He could die like this, with your narrowed orbs pitying him, and he badly wishes you would call him a coward. The hold is just enough to hurt him, not to make him lose his senses; if anything, it only makes his head spin around the one thought he wants to avoid. You.

With the quickest distraction he could get his hands on, he keeps adding to it: Haeun clinging to his side, he steps out the packed room to light the nth cigarette, the smoke clouding his vision and making the image of you fade from behind his eyelids. You release your hand from him and disappear. He almost whines. He misses you already. But the faint ache is a reminder.

Instead, in front of him is the only girl he should have truly avoided. Haeun is another reminder. Not because she looks similar to you, you’re way prettier. You’re beautiful.

No, it’s just because he remembers Haeun being his first victim, using her to bury something stronger growing inside him. But it didn’t work then, and it doesn’t work now.

She’s the only girl he tried his luck with to avoid his now unavoidable feelings for you. Then, he physically couldn’t touch another woman beside you. So he started flirting with more cigarettes and alcohol. Maybe some joints then and there.

Jeongguk would love to know why he prefers destroying himself rather than just be the confident man he lets everyone else think he is, go up to you and be honest, like you make it so easy for him to be. The fact that it almost slipped out of him more than a couple times scares him.

It shouldn’t. He wants to fall into that soothing caress, but could he even handle the possibility of you simply, and rightfully if you deemed it the correct choice, rejecting him?

The answer is no. He can’t afford losing your touch on him, your lashes fluttering when you look up at him, your fingers tracing secret maps on his back. He wonders if you’re outlining the safest ways for him to escape from the maze he himself created, of which he forgot the exit to.

With Haeun pressing herself to his side, he thinks he’d rather stay trapped there at this point. A maze built by lies, letting you believe he’s fucking other girls on the side when he feels sickened just by the thought of it, his hand now coming up to push the girl back to a safe distance. Built by insecurities, preferring having you think that you’re simply one of the many he has when he firmly believes you’re the only one that the universe has especially assigned him to.

It’s making him lose his mind, while you live unaware, free from the truth. He’s sure in the stretch that went from yesterday, when you told him about your fucking partner, and tonight, seeing you so close to said partner’s face, your dress custom-made by the hands of every angel populating heaven, Jeongguk developed some kind of clinical illness. The flame of jealousy in his toned tummy has eaten him whole.

And he feels slightly ashamed of himself knowing this is how he found himself circling back to his first poor attempt at running away from you, in the form of a short girl, her eyes now questioning him just like yours had done earlier. Haeun furrows her brows, “Are you seriously doing this again?”

Jeongguk sighs, glancing away to take a long drag from his cigarette that fills his lungs and almost aches. He avoids the eye contact that would be needed for a conversation like the one he’s forced to have — one that wouldn’t have occured in the first place if he could just be a normal person — instead he looks back to the room through the glass doors, “I’m sorry, Hae. I— I can’t do this—“

“Yo, Gguk. You need to come with me now. ___ is throwing up in the bathroom.”

It’s Taehyung sliding the glass door open with more force than what he usually puts, and right now nobody would tell he’s the same one always advising his friends to be delicate with it. The look on his face is panicked and it quickly reflects in Jeongguk’s eyes, flickering between his friend and Haeun.

Next, his reflexes are quicker. He steps inside the house, skipping past Taehyung and the flood of college students dancing their Friday away to Usher and seemingly not caring about the urgency written all over his expression.

He makes it to the bathroom where people have started to crowd around as if lining up to an unmissable show, and he doesn’t care if his pushes are too rough as he makes his way through.

You’re quite literally hugging the toilet, your face one with the lid as a few girls try and help you with your hair. The moment they see Jeongguk, it’s like they know he’s the one that you need, that he’s finally here and you’re in good hands. He shoots them a quick nod as they step aside and then, he’s immediately crouching next to you, gently gathering your long locks into his fist.

He moves some stray strands behind your ears while you keep letting it all out, and as much as his broad back is enough to hide you from watchful eyes, he can still hear murmurs from onlookers.

It’s as Jeongguk is debating whether he should cuss them out or keep his attention on you that Taehyung comes to promptly clear the crowd, closing the bathroom door behind him only after making sure his friend doesn’t need any more help.

Jeongguk appreciates the gesture, knowing how overwhelmed you can get in these scenarios with too many people around. Although, no matter how calm he appears for your sake, his heart races even as you seem to settle and sit on the tiled floor, your back resting against the cool wall.

You gulp down a few times, squeezing your eyes to try and ground yourself, the way you can feel Jeongguk’s hand hold the side of your leg, his thumb delicately brushing the inside of your thigh, definitely helping.

“Toots,” he whispers, face close to your own, “Hey, doll. You’re okay now, hm? What happened?” His voice is low, slow, almost scared of flowing past his lips.

When you open your eyes he’s directly in front of you, squatting down to stay on your level, and his brows are drawn high in worry.

You sniff, your voice still rough from the scratching on your throat, “Fucking— Jimin. I met him in the kitchen and we mixed too much shit together—“

“Weren’t you with Kim Namjoon?” Jeongguk interrupts you, both his tone and the way his eyebrows now dip inquisitive.

You shrug, looking down at your fingers fidgeting, “Dunno. Why the fuck am I still not sober,” the way you tone the question doesn’t make it sound like one, and you end up giggling at yourself, hiccuping in the process.

Jeongguk sighs, unconsciously tightening his hold around your leg, his fingers digging and making you whimper subtly. He notices, soothing the skin only to take both his hands to scoop you up by your armpits, lifting both your bodies on your feet.

You yelp, throwing your weight on him with another one of your senseless chuckles, looking up at his bothered face through your lashes. He straightens your posture with wide palms on your waist, throwing one of your arms around his shoulders and causing you to step out of the small room on your tiptoes. He grumbles, “I’m taking you back to the dorm now. And we’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

“Talk about what?”

“Namjoon.”

You stay quiet as the both of you, your body snug against his, walk through the party and out the house to reach Jeongguk’s car. Your thoughts are sluggish, failing to grasp why he’d even want to talk about Namjoon. Isn’t he just a nice guy? You’re more concerned with Jeongguk’s seemingly irked tone and the distressed way his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek.

A soft, involuntary whine escapes you when you think you might be the reason for that, shuffling yourself closer into his warmth, but the contact is brief as he gently settles you into the passenger seat and clicks the belt, then he closes your door and circles the car to the driver’s side.

Awkward. The only sound that can be heard is the soft hum of the engine, beside the fuzzy buzz in your ears. You feel laughter bubbling up in your chest but you hold it there, turning to study Jeongguk’s side profile. Inhaling, you start, “Can you— can I put on—”

“No.”

Your smile falters, “What? C’mon, give me the aux.”

“The last thing I want right now is to listen to those songs.”

Any previous tipsy instinct that made you want to laugh at the situation fade with his words and the way his grip on the steering wheel says more than what he’s letting on. You’re hazy, but his clenched jaw and laser focus on the road make you sit up straighter, adjusting your slouched posture and the skirt of your dress with it, pulling it further down your thighs.

The tension coming off him feels so heavy that it leads to irrational, childish tears pricking your eyes, and you sound defeated when you whisper, “Are you mad at me?”

He brakes a little too hard at the red light, and you both lurch slightly forward. Jeongguk seems to realize just now that he’s unfairly taking his anger out on you, and the way you let out the question in the smallest voice makes his heart speed up, turning to you with apprehension, “No, toots. No, why would I be? I’m mad at that fucker.”

“He was just talking with some of his—”

“He left you alone. He was supposed to take care of you. Not let you get fucking wasted.”

Jeongguk sounds final, his tone allowing no more condoning nor excuses for the tall guy now left behind you, back at the party. But you don’t seem to focus too much on the meaning of his words, rather you bask in the consequences of them. He’s not upset with you!

That spurs you to contradict him further, this time on the accusation he threw at you, but it’s less than credible when you say it through a sheepish smile that unconsciously made its way on your lips at the protective edge to his tone, “I’m not fucking wasted.”

Jeongguk only sighs, but you can see him visibly relax, shoulders going down and leaning against the back of his seat, right hand coming to pat your bare knee with a small smile on his pierced lips.

You share a look that fully sobers you up only to get you high all over again off his doe eyes, the artificial lights dotting a universe of their own in those orbs, undiscovered galaxies and planets inviting you to move there, even with no water, no oxygen, no way of surviving.

When the soft hue of the red light reflecting on the side of your face morphs to green, he moves his attention back on the road, taking his hand with it to shift gears. Then, he concedes, “Put on the playlist.”

You blink, a little taken aback by his sudden shift in mood, but just as quickly you recover. Your brain seems to be able to focus on one thing at a time either way, so you don’t ponder on your insides collectively moving at the way he looked at you and instead reach for the aux cord, fingers tapping on your phone screen absentmindedly, with a conscience of their own.

Music interrupts the quiet, and you can’t help but join, “The night we met I knew I, needed you so. And if I had the chance I’d, never let you go. Sing with me!”

Jeongguk breaks into a grin, no matter how much he fights it, “You’re so fucking wasted.”

“So won’t you say you love me? I’ll make you so proud of me. We’ll make ‘em turn their heads every place we go, so won’t you please,” Be My Baby by The Ronettes fills the previous silent tension, which you seemingly already forgot everything about, using Jeongguk’s free hand as your own personal microphone, folding it in a fist between your palms.

Jeongguk would never say it out loud, especially now, after he only pretended he had to be begged to put it on, that he’s actually grown attached to this playlist. Started as a little mishap and turned into something that got under his skin, much like you have.

Its creation came about from a comically embarrassing moment that gave you ammunition to tease him for weeks. Although, he’s glad for it when he reflects deep enough: the whole episode helped shape the bond between you two, adding to its foundation.

He still doesn’t know how you managed to slip so sneakily into his dorm that evening, but what’s sure is that he wasn’t expecting you, taking the time of his life in his bathroom, fresh out of the shower. Simply following his usual routine, one that you wouldn’t have exactly considered usual since you only ever knew him as an avid Drake listener, he hummed along to Elvis Presley’s Can’t Help Falling in Love flowing softly from his phone speaker.

It wasn’t just that, of course, because then he started styling his wet hair in an exaggerated pompadour and fully got into character, strutting dramatic poses in front of the mirror and even practicing Elvis’s iconic curl of the lip. If his soul was by any chance watching over the scene, you’d hoped he’d agree with you that Jeongguk was truly giving Austin Butler a run for his money.

The private show sadly ended when he caught sight of you in the foggy glass, your lips sealed shut to try and hold your delighted laughter, but it got ripped out of you in the form of an obnoxious snort the moment his eyes went wide in horror and his face crimson in shame.

It was hell for a few weeks after that. You didn’t let him off so easily, teasing him for being a secret softie with a love for old-school romance under all the layers of his tough fuckboy image that only ever seemed to handle trappy beats.

When you jokingly suggested he might as well get fully into the act and start calling you toots or something, he didn’t back down from the tease, scoffing at you with narrowed eyes. Somewhere along the way, the dry, sardonic tone with which he first used that pet name on you stuck, and it became less of a joke, more of an endearing way to refer to you, and only you.

Before either of you could second-guess it, the playlist was born. You two crafted it together in fits of laughter and late-night texts, with Jeongguk suggesting songs from his secret stash and you contributing the ones you grew up on.

It quickly became the soundtrack to many of your aimless car rides, something that neither of you acknowledged outright but silently cherished. Sometimes, you’d get so carried away and slip into the roles of a ‘60s couple, playfully reciting cheesy lines back and forth.

No matter how much Jeongguk pretends he hates it to save what’s left of his bad boy reputation, he really doesn’t. Not even a little bit. Even the way he rolls his eyes and groans isn’t enough to hide the spark in his eyes when you sing along.

He feels worse than a pubescent teenager when he lets his guard slip to hear you hum words he can only imagine are just for him, meant in the way he wants. You swing side by side and smile up at him with dimples digging long slits into your cheeks, and he has to act as if it makes him feel completely normal and not like he’s going to crash his car any second.

Each lyric that spills from your mouth feels like it’s tying him down, even with your sweet voice a little unsteady, thanks to whatever is still left from the night’s drinks. You’re so not aware of what it does to him.

Your eyes are on the road, but Jeongguk’s linger on you, his fingers unconsciously tapping the steering wheel to the tune.

“I’d save every day like a treasure, and then, again, I would spend them with you.”

Jeongguk purposefully veers off onto streets he doesn’t need to take, buying himself a few extra minutes with you, but you don’t notice and he pretends to not know either. Would never admit it’s because he wants to hear you sing a little more, and that this ongoing joke between the two of you might be his favorite thing in the whole world.

“But there never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them. Hold on, this one’s a little lower. I’ll find my note, wait,” you’re mostly talking to yourself, cheek pressed to the cool glass of the window, but you glance at Jeongguk as if seeking for approval, clearing your throat, “I’ve looked around enough to know that you’re the one I want to go through time with.”

Just as Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce fades out, Jeongguk pulls into the campus parking lot, turning the engine off and cutting the music with it. None of you move right away, accepting the stillness in the car.

You don’t accept the silence, though, letting your mind speak a thought that has been nagging at you, “Can you fuck me here? Right now?”

The way you voice the request would make anybody who didn’t understand English think you’d just asked for something as mundane as a glass of water, your eyes unfaltering, a small smile on your waiting lips, voice barely slicing through the quiet. It’s almost as if you don’t know it’s the kind of thing that could derail Jeongguk’s entire thought process.

Jeongguk lightly chokes on his own breath, giving a few coughs before turning to you, his tattooed hand messing his hair further, “Jesus Christ, ___. You know I can’t.”

You tilt your head, considering him, as if this is a serious debate rather than drunken rambling, “Why not?”

Jeongguk can only sigh. He takes in your disheveled state and notices the way your exposed skin prickles with the cold, reaching for the leather jacket he carelessly threw on the backseats before heading to the party, having had no idea you’d be the one wearing it by the end of the night.

He wraps it gently around your shoulders, moving sticky, stray strands of hair from your face, “You’re so drunk. Look at you.”

“I told you I’m not,” you protest weakly, but your confidence falters when his fingers ghost over your face.

“There’s vomit in your hair,” he shuts you bluntly, tone softer than the honest words.

“Oh,” your stubbornness doesn’t work this time, and you’re mortified as you glance down at your lap, where his fingers fall to mindlessly play with the zip of his bomber jacket, brushing your tummy in the process. Your voice doesn’t sound so sure now, especially when each subtle graze sends small shocks through you, “That’s disgusting.”

The soft chuckle he lets out has you stealing a look upward, and when you catch his expression your slowed down brain can only come to the conclusion that maybe he doesn’t find you all that disgusting: he sports a rare, wide curve of his bunny smile, eyes crinkling when that same fondness finds its way onto your lips. You can’t help what they do next, a mind of their own as you rest them on his own mouth, the tip of his nose tickling your cheek.

It’s the faintest of kisses, and it’s delicate, fleeting, over far too soon, but you’re the one to pull back first no matter how much longer you need it to be, “That was probably disgusting too.”

As you rest your back on the seat again, his eyes are still closed, and they flutter open as slowly as a smile stretches on his mouth when he meets you. You’re giving him a look he doesn’t deserve, one he shouldn’t lean into.

His voice is a whisper, and it fans over your face, still close to his, “Not at all.”

Gleaming eyes scan every angle of you, as if trying to find anything that’ll hold him back from what he really wants to do. But, of course, his need only grows when he lets his gaze wander down, then up again.

He glances to the side with a gulp, moving his body back to reach for the car door handle, “You think you can walk or should I carry you?”

“Carry me, please,” you mumble, not even pondering on the first option, and the moment the sound leaves your lips he’s out and reaching for your side, opening your door and scooping you up like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

The walk to his dorm is a blur, with you dozing off in his warmth and being lulled by the hums escaping him and reverberating through his chest, melodies of the earlier songs playing against your ear.

You regain awareness when a splash of warm water cascades over your now naked body, the sensation startling enough to make your lashes flutter against your damp cheeks. The water runs over your face, washing away the remnants of the night, the drowsy yet oddly light sensation taking over you causing a giggle to echo against the walls.

You’re still too disoriented to process the tenderness with which Jeongguk’s hand moves, brushing through your soaked strands of hair and moving them from where they flattened on your face, combing through the sticky locks.

With half-open eyes, you’re met with the sight of him in front of you, standing close enough without needing to step into the small space with you, his brows furrowed as he works the shampoo through your hair. It’s a soothing, slow motion, the one he massages your scalp with, and it only melts you further into sweet slumber.

If it weren’t for one of his hands resting tightly on your hip, grounding you as the scent of the shampoo mingles with the steam curling around you, you would have gladly swayed into his palm, letting your weak body fall into his strong one.

You sniff, leaning into his care, voice small and oddly sincere, “I’m sorry for,” hiccup, “taking you away from Haeun. You two seem close again.”

Jeongguk stills for a moment, his fingers pausing in your hair before resuming their soft motions. He pretends he didn’t hear, and you pretend you never talked in the first place when he guides you to steady yourself as your knees wobble, “Hey, stand still. You’ll get shampoo in your eyes. Close them.”

You obey, letting your eyelids drop shut as you feel his hand gently tilt your head under the spray, his touch as tender as the words he isn’t saying.

If you weren’t a victim of both sleepiness and alcohol at this very moment, your thoughts would be racing each other like eager contenders in the Overthinker Marathon, each one fighting tooth and nail for the gold medal. They’d be dissecting every little detail of the night— the way Jeongguk had ignored you, his lingering hand on Haeun’s waist, only to be there the second you needed him, the girl from earlier not even worth mentioning.

Instead, your every thinking cell has taken a rare vacation, lounging together on an imaginary green field, clinking glasses filled with leftover cocktails from earlier, lazily watching clouds drift by.

Although there’s one cell in particular, too tipsy to sit still. It hops around gleefully, urging your lips to move before the Thinking Cell General can intervene. The way it jumps up and down, up and down, makes you giggle as you blurt out, “I don’t know if it’s the water, but I’m very wet.”

The silence that follows is thick, punctuated only by the sound of water cascading down your back. Jeongguk freezes as if the words have physically reached out and yanked him into stunned stillness. He can only let his throat bob in a visible swallow and look away, warning you in a strained mutter, “___. This is your last warning. Stop teasing me.”

You whine, pathetically wiggling your weak and pliant body in his hold to seek for some kind of reaction, but he doesn’t budge. He’s uncharacteristically focused on his tasks, ensuring every trace of shampoo rinses from your hair, rather than your hardened nipples bouncing with your stubborn movements.

But you recognise the way his jaw clenches so tight it must hurt, how he refuses to let his gaze wander lower where the steam of water outlines your form. His restraint is razor-thin, yet he holds it tightly, breathing only slightly uneven.

You’re not deterred by his warning; you never are. It’s the tiny tracks in his resolve that keep you pressing forward, voice laced with a vulnerability that makes his hand twitch against your scalp, “Just… I just need your fingers. Please.”

Jeongguk exhales sharply through his nose, but he doesn’t answer. Instead, he angles the spray to wash the last suds away, hyper-focused on the practical task as though it’s a lifeline to his dwindling self-control.

But you’re persistent. You reach behind you, fingers messily finding the knob to twist the water off, and with the spray halting you’re left only with the hum of the bathroom fan and the faint drip of water.

Your other hand finds his, guiding his wide palm to rest on your lower stomach, just above where your want is written in every inch of your body. You whisper, plead clear in your tone, ”You know I want this. Won’t ever regret it. I’m conscious enough to be sure of that.”

Jeongguk huffs, his chest rising and falling as he stares down at you, fingers flexing slightly against your skin. He closes his eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply as if accepting defeat. He can’t win this battle.

The brown-haired boy steps into the shower, the small space shrinking even further with the addition of his broader frame, forcing you to back up against the wall. Fully dressed, water clings to his fabric, and the contrast of his damp clothes against your bare, exposed skin makes you irrationally wetter.

Jeongguk keeps silent, and at this point you don’t care how desperate you look, pushing yourself against him and getting his clothes wetter in the process. It pushes him to initiate a torturous path along your skin, using his middle finger to trace a journey from your chest, savoring the way your breath hitches, down to your warm core.

The droplets of water he collects on the way are used to spread your puffy lips and press right on your sensitive nub, making you gasp. You’re a trembling mess from the simple motion, and he has to use his free hand to steady you against the wall.

Your breasts aren’t left without being taken care of, because the moment he begins circling motions on your clit that have you seeing stars, he lowers his head to envelop one of your tits in his ravenous mouth, teeth teasing it punitively, all while looking up at you with sliced, sinful eyes.

He’s greedy, and you can’t believe he managed to hide it so well until now. But his resolve crumbles the more he revels in the way you fall apart for him, and he loses control on your chest. The sensation is sharp, delicious, and the contrast between the harshness of his bite and the softness of his tongue has you whimpering.

You’re ashamedly aware of how close you already are, his digits picking a fast speed that urges you to let go and coat him in your juices. He knows, simply from the way you let your mouth fall agape and release loud moans in the steamy air, pushing your nipples further in his swollen lips.

When he inserts one finger in your warm hole, you jolt in his secure hold, eyebrows shot upwards in the shock of your sudden orgasm, one that hits you all too harshly. It drags on deliciously, Jeongguk never wanting it to end, the slurping sound of his sucking on your tits making your surrounding spin, along with his thumb accompanying the way his single digits thrusts into you.

He only stops when you unconsciously run from his doings, slim hand wrapping weakly around his wrist, and he retreats with one last wet stripe along the curve of your boob, promptly collecting your taste from his fingers, and he thoroughly hums around them, eyes closed and cheeks hollowed.

You think you could come again from the sight alone. Panting, you smile through your ragged breaths, “Fuck. Thanks.”

Five minutes later, no one would bet you’re the same girl that begged him for his fingers and came in record time around them. Now, you sit serenely on the toilet lid, wrapped up in Jeongguk’s warmest hoodie. The oversized fabric swallows your frame, knees tucked under it as you hug them close to your chest. You look as innocent as ever.

Jeongguk stands in front of you, meticulously brushing through your damp hair with practiced gentleness, each stroke of the comb a soothing lullaby. You rest your chin lazily on your folded arms, eyes closed, the edges of sleep blurring your thoughts.

You let out a contented sigh before murmuring, words unfiltered, “You’d make the perfect boyfriend. You always take care of me. And kiss me when I need it.”

The motions of the brush stop for a fraction of a second before resuming, and what you hear next is Jeongguk’s throat clearing, his voice low and almost shaky, “That sounds so very wrong, toots.”

“What do you mean?” You don’t open your eyes as you ask the question, the warmth of his presence and the excuse of the last traces of alcohol still flowing in your tired body making you bolder than usual.

“You want me to be your boyfriend?”

“In another life, maybe. Yes,” you don’t waste time replying, words carrying a dreamy quality, “I mean, would be cool.”

“Cool?” He chuckles, but it’s the kind that’s half-exasperation and half-something else entirely, voice strained with an edge of desperation too, “God, I don’t even know why I’m still putting up with you.”

You only nuzzle closer into the borrowed hoodie, giving voice to your next thought, your thinking cells now hosting a 60s themed party, “Be my, be my baby. My one and only baby.”

The sound of your singing fades under the whirring roar of the hairdryer, and Jeongguk is quietly thankful for the way it drowns your sweet hums completely, fearing if he hears another one of those tipsy love confessions leaving your lips he might drop to his knees, undone by something he knows he can’t claim.

You rest your head against his stomach, full weight leaning on his standing figure, his long digits pulling through your strands. If you’d look up at your best friend for even one fleeting second, you’d probably laugh at the concentration on his expression, his only goal drying your hair enough to not have you waking up with a headache the following day.

You sniffle and snuggle impossibly closer to him, the heat radiating from his tummy and the white noise lulling you further into drowsiness, every careful motion of his hand coaxing you closer to sleep.

When your phone pings from the bathroom counter, the sudden buzz makes you jolt slightly. You lift your head sluggishly and gesture toward the phone, mouthing up to Jeongguk, “Pass it.”

He hands it to you without turning off the hairdryer, keeping an eye on your sleepy movements. You blink at the bright light for a moment before your expression shifts, eyes widening.

You’re completely jolted awake at the only notification on your home screen: it's Namjoon.

You tap Jeongguk’s stomach with the heel of your hand— softly at first, then with increasing urgency. The repeated motion forces him to stop the device and place it on the counter as he looks down at you, trying to peek at the screen, “What?”

You hiccup and sniff before blurting out, “Namjoon. He texted me”

The boy that was just now carefully drying your hair scoffs, arms crossed over his chest, “What does that asshole want?”

The response to the rhetorical question doesn’t come, either because you decide to ignore it purposefully or unconsciously: you look totally engulfed by the words on your otherwise empty chat with Namjoon, and Jeongguk can’t help but subtly lean his body lower to read the same texts you’re going through.

Kim Namjoon [4:26 a.m.]: Hey. Sorry for texting late, I heard from someone you threw up back at the party. I’m so sorry. I completely lost sight of you in that mess. Are you feeling any better? Very sorry again.

Kim Namjoon [4:27 a.m.]: It’s totally okay if you don’t want to hear from me again. But I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t at least try to make it up to you.

Kim Namjoon [4:27 a.m.]: I’d really like to take you out on a date. Would you let me?

Jeongguk kisses his teeth irkedly, “Why the fuck does he text like Prince William? Fucking English major,” and he truly tried his best to sound unaffected, but the words leave his mouth before he even knows he’s thinking of them.

Luckily, you don’t seem to notice, reading the message aloud like you can’t quite believe it yourself, “He said he’d like to go on a date with me. Like, he asked me on a date. And said he would like it. To go on a date—”

“Yes, we got it.”

“He doesn’t hate me, Gguk!” Once again, his petty comments go unnoticed as your face lights up, eyes crinkling with joy as you practically beam up at him.

Jeongguk wants to be annoyed, but he simply can’t when he’s met with all the stars in the universe right in your glossy, tired eyes. He swallows hard and forces a soft chuckle, “No, he doesn’t, toots. Anyone would be crazy to hate you.”

The grin on your lips only widens, nose scrunching adorably as you let your cheek sheepishly brush against your shoulder, “Oh my god, Gguk. I’m going on a date with him! Heh.”

“That’s nice,” he says, picking up the hairdryer again before your words can settle too heavily in the space between you. “I’m not finished with your hair, though. Stay still.”

The device roars to life once more, its noise filling the room and covering your excited giggles. Jeongguk keeps brushing through your hair with steady motions, his face impassive, but he feels something tighten, heavy and unyielding in his chest.

He tells himself the noise is a blessing, a shield from the silence he wouldn’t know how else to fill—or from the sound of his own voice, betraying him in ways he can’t afford.

────୨ৎ────

“I’ll miss the sex when Namjoon will ask me to be his girlfriend.”

In the quiet of the library, your sudden whisper startles Jeongguk. The chair screeches under him and it gains the both of you a few annoyed looks. He nods in apology at their way, moving closer to the table again, and he has to blink a few times before he can even meet your eyes. The scattered pens all over the white surface looked more interesting either way.

“When he— his— what?” He feels pathetic for being unable to even form a senseful sentence, but there’s no absolute way he blames his brain for that. It’s his heart, stuttering along with the barely intelligible question.

It cracks at the middle the more your grin splits your face in half, nose scrunching adorably, and he may be a horrible friend but he can’t bring himself to return your irony, nor the masked excitement under it.

If he were handed pen and paper and asked to write about how he feels right at this moment, he wouldn’t put down a single thing. Not because there isn’t anything to say. He fears your innocent teasing has done something catastrophic, snapping that one damned string that connected his brain to his heart, and the two aren’t communicating. Jeongguk is in the middle of two angered parents, fighting and on the brink of divorce. That’s what he gets for being a total pussy.

You shrug, frowning slightly when all you’re faced with is his blank expression, eyes unresponsive and detachedly looking elsewhere, but you keep yours on him, studying even the small movements, “I mean, he’s a nice guy. I think he’s serious about getting to know me.”

The word serious causes an involuntary twitch of his head, tilting almost imperceptibly to the side, and he sounds way too defensive, “And are you?”

Furrowing your eyebrows at his unexpected reaction, you return to your previous mindless doodling, keeping your voice low, “Well, he’s cute. Let’s see where this thing goes.”

“What about me?”

The question catches the both of you off guard. Your pencil halts as you glance at him through the corner of your eye, and even if you can’t see him clearly, the way his dark orbs widen is almost comical that you would laugh in any other situation. But now, the air is oddly tense and it makes your nose scrunch in awkwardness.

He breaks it with a chuckle, a subtle tremor in it that luckily goes unnoticed by you but that will probably keep him up at night for the next five years, and he lightly shoves your shoulder in an effort at feigning ease, “You really wanna pass on this dick?”

“God, you’re gross,” the annoyed roll of your eyes has Jeongguk releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding; it’s odd, but that’s just who he is.

The second you return to weightless banter, he’s back in his element. He can smirk, tease and deflect— these are tools he’s mastered over the months. But the thought of stripping naked for your eyes to see, and not in the sexual way you two engage in almost every night, terrifies him.

The waters are safe for what seems a fraction of a second before you pull him down in the deep, dark seas again, this dynamic between you foreign. While it is a simple, innocent question, your deceptive tone triggers unfamiliarity within him, “Besides, how’s it going with you and Haeun?”

“Huh? Oh. Haeun, yes,” his attempt at buying himself extra time is laughable, especially when Mr. Brain is now yelling at Ms. Heart for always wanting to get in the way of things he can handle alone, “Wonderfully. We— She— Huh, kissed me.”

Ms. Heart is furious. She has no other choice but to reach in her purse and slap the divorce papers on the dinner table, the glasses clinking against the plates, and Jeongguk flinches. Brain is speechless, clueless on how to react.

You only seem slightly taken aback, eyebrows raising in mild surprise, “Really? That’s nice.”

Jeongguk is equally clueless, subtly squeezing his eyes shut as if hoping to wake up somewhere else entirely, maybe in an ideal world where Kim Namjoon doesn’t exist and Mr. Brain and Ms. Heart are happily married.

Instead, he’s still in the library, and you’re still sitting next to him, scribbling on your English textbook. He frowns, getting pitiably lost in the view of your side profile, “Yeah, nice. Huh, when’s your date?”

When you glance up at him, you seem to be realizing just how odd it is for the two of you to spend this much time talking about your respective hook ups, and you cringe slightly at the unusual formality, wishing Jeongguk would just tease you like he usually does when you tell him about your untruthful and made up sexual adventures.

You purse your lips in thought, “Tomorrow, actually.”

“Oh. He’s going fast.”

“I like that.”

“I know you do.”

No matter the effort you put into trying to hide your amusement, a snort escapes you, and you quickly look away to recover from the childish grin spreading on your lips. You shake your head, closing the book in front of you, “You’re fucking disgusting.”

Jeongguk only smirks in an oddly proud way, nodding at your flustered state when he realizes he successfully managed yet again to shift the conversation from topics he doesn’t want to hear or talk about. He shrugs, “You just said that.”

“And I’ll say it again.”

“Whatever,” a small chuckle follows the dismissal, his hand coming to brush through his fluffy hair, getting too long for his liking, “I really wanted to see you tomorrow.”

Once again, Jeongguk is way too honest, way too easily. Ms. Heart is marching hastily with Mr. Brain walking close behind, trying to make sense of the situation and pushing her to reconsider her actions, but it’s no use: she’s tired, and sick of being walked over, again and again.

He doesn’t like the underlying meaning behind that, and wishes Mr. Brain would grow a pair and just swoon her back into love again. Jeongguk doesn’t like the genuine surprise etched across your face either, or, well, he doesn’t like the effect it has on him: it’s almost unbearable to accept that the blush dusting your cheeks, the one you’re probably unaware of, is caused by his unfiltered honesty. Because sincere bluntness isn’t exactly something he tries to show. Then, why does it spill out of him uncontrollably? Why— why do you look so beautiful like this?

“Hm,” your smile is small, but your dimple betrays it, Jeongguk’s whole resolve cracking with the way you sound dangerously decisive, “Too bad. You’re late.”

Jeongguk shouldn’t overthink this. You’re simply engaging in the usual dynamic, teasing him like always, no reason for his palms to sweat. He shouldn’t panic over the way nothing about what you said feels simple, nor usual, and your tone carries more than what you both want the words to mean.

He doesn’t know if it’s a warning or a test—or worse, the truth. Maybe he’s imagining it. Maybe Brain just misinterpreted the comment, too distracted by its constant squabble with Heart, both of them ignoring Jeongguk, who is still sitting at the cluttered kitchen table with his plate half-full, surrounded by a mess of inky emotions he doesn’t have the courage to clean up.

The sound of forks clinking against plates grates against his ears, drowning out the hurried excuses spilling from your mouth, the ones you’re babbling and making up along the way of gathering your things and standing up from the round table, shouldering your bag in the same hurry you left his room with before the next time he saw you was nose to nose with Namjoon.

You huff, giving a small, tight lipped smile that should be meaningless, but to Jeongguk it isn’t, “I’ll go now. See you around?”

“Huh, sure. Let me know how it goes with Namsun.”

You roll your eyes at the playful attempt, his grin just as empty, “Right. Bye Gguk.”

You’re off the hallway before he can add anything else. Not that he would have been able to. Your bag swings with your big steps, slim hands coming to absently tug your plaid skirt lower, and Jeongguk thinks and thinks.

He realizes he really doesn’t want to know how your little date goes. Would rather shoot himself rather than hearing you talk about another guy taking you out to dinner, stealing you from him and sealing the end to whatever the two of you have.

His options are narrowed. He either commits in front of you and forever changes the trajectory of your life or does something about Namjoon. But why does the option of ending his life sound much easier than stepping up to big, buff Namjoon, infatuated with the same girl he likes?

Oh.

The admission jolts him. It’s a physical reaction that causes his chair to shriek again under his movements, but this time he’s not polite enough to apologize for it. He must look crazy, wide eyes burning holes into his hands planted steadily on the table in front of him.

The girl he likes. You’re the girl he likes.

And every signal is there. The spark he sought for now lights a nervous feeling in his stomach, its fireworks interrupting Brain and Heart’s incessant arguing.

Does he look stupid not doing anything for the girl he likes? Not fighting for the girl he’s been falling for all this time?

────୨ৎ────

It should be easy. It is easy.

Jeongguk can’t let the sleepless night spent reciting lines to his ceiling go to waste. He’s sure not even theater kids could match his determination. And as he marches across campus toward the gym, where the squeak of sneakers and the echo of grunts will lead him to the person needed to put the plan into action, he reviews step by step what he’s told himself to do. It’s a well-rehearsed script, each word, every calculated expression—he’s gone over it a hundred times, accounting for every reaction.

Step one, be casual. Friendly, even. Approach Namjoon like there’s nothing calculated about this interaction—no ulterior motives, no scheme brewing beneath the surface. Just a casual catch-up between two guys.

“What’s up, Kim,” when Jeongguk spots the slightly taller boy exercising at a steady walking pace on the treadmill, he immediately hops onto the free one beside him.

Namjoon startles slightly, then smiles with those stupid, charming dimples of his, and it’s one that Jeongguk would probably only give if forced, “Hey, Jeongguk. Long time no see.”

The brown-haired boy nods, setting the speed and quickly catching up to Namjoon. He keeps his tone deliberately cool, even borderline disinterested, “You been good?”

On his left, your almost-boyfriend shrugs, jogging along, “Yeah, just studying, man. What about you?”

“Pretty much the same,” he hasn’t cracked open a book in weeks, and that study session from yesterday was just an excuse to be with you. But he can’t afford to let his thoughts linger on you too long or he’ll lose focus. He needs focus. “You catch that last game?”

Step two, pretend to care about what Namjoon is saying and then proceed with the acting skills only to suddenly remember something totally random he wanted to mention.

“Fuck, don’t remind me. I was so sure we would win,” the sweating man sounds way too affected by the recent football match, and Jeongguk fears if he asks one more question for the sake of pretending he’ll never get to the actual point.

So, he goes straight to it, “Yeah, it was rough. Oh, by the way. You know ___, right?”

The simple mention of your name causes a small stutter in Namjoon’s step, but he recovers with the stupid smile from earlier, only this time it’s wider, “Of course I know her. Why do you ask?”

Step three, just be honest. He just has to lay it all out. Be straightforward. Tell him the truth about how he’s felt for so long and what this whole thing with you is doing to him. It’s not a confrontation—it’s a conversation. Jeongguk will politely explain that he’s liked you for a while now, that he’s been in your life long before Namjoon, and, as a courtesy, he’d appreciate it if he would step back from pursuing you.

Civil. Calm. Totally chill. There’s absolutely nothing to get worked up over.

"You really don't know? Have no idea?" Jeongguk asks, his voice dropping, tone more pointed than he intended.

Namjoon slows his treadmill slightly, glancing over with furrowed brows and a faintly amused smile. “No, man. Enlighten me.”

“She’s my fucking girlfriend.”

What. The. Fuck.

That wasn’t the plan. Not even close to the plan.

────୨ৎ────

You feel stupid.

Wrapped around in your warmest coat, you still shiver. It could be the way your legs are exposed under your wool dress, high black boots reaching just beneath your knees. But there’s something else to the chill, making you shake in fading jitters. The excitement of the evening you told yourself you were looking forward to morphs into anxiety, and the passing looks of people mean more than they should as minutes tick and tick; they seem to glance at you for too long, their looks heavy with what you can only imagine is judgment.

A young girl swaddled in small but striking details from head to toe — delicate earrings that catch the light, a scarf knotted perfectly at the neck, polished nails clutching the strap of an expensive-looking bag, hair done up in a neat slicked bun — glancing nervously at her surroundings can only mean one thing: she’s been stood up.

Namjoon was supposed to meet you in front of the cozy cafè just outside the campus, its warm tones and surely even warmer ambience so very inviting. Maybe you’d go in, order a steaming hot chocolate for yourself, and chalk this up as a lesson learned. But instead, you chose to wait outside, shifting on your tiptoes every so often, scanning the crowd for a glimpse of the first man to ask you out in what felt like ages.

You feel as though you’ll be forever destined to wait more when thirty minutes go by and Namjoon is nowhere to be seen.

You frown, swaying on your heels. What you feel is not disappointment— not at first. But that only causes you to feel worse about yourself when you realize you’re almost relieved the tall man hasn’t shown up, and he’s not here to turn fears into even scarier realities. The date would have given a concrete meaning to your actions, and the thought stirs something not exactly pleasant within you.

The scratch at the back of your mind grows harder to ignore, and no matter how much you try to shake it off, your subconscious finds ways back to it when your hand instinctively dives into the depths of the expensive purse you had specially chosen for this occasion. A purse meant to complement your carefully selected dark ensemble— an effort that now feels entirely wasted. You spent so much time getting ready for something you’re not ready for at all.

Pulling out your phone, your thumb scrolls to Jeongguk’s number with a natural automatism, typing before you even register why he’s the first person you feel the need to tell.

You [9:39 p.m.]: hi

You [9:39 p.m.]: namjoon stood me up lol

The typing bubbles appear faster than you anticipated, and as you watch them dance across the screen, you burrow deeper into the fragile warmth of your jacket, the tip of your nose numb from the cold.

sassy queen 💁🏻 [9:40 p.m.]: Whattttttt????

sassy queen 💁🏻 [9:40 p.m.]: He’s such an asshooooooole

Your first instinct is to snort at his reaction, a childish grin tugging at your lips, but it turns into a scowl when the more you reread the text, the more it sounds weird. He usually never texts like a six-year-old using his mom’s iPad.

You [9:40 p.m.]: yes he is

You [9:40 p.m.]: why are u textin so weird btw lol

sassy queen 💁🏻 [9:41 p.m.]: Wym weirddd

sassy queen 💁🏻 [9:41 p.m.]: I’m totally normal

You [9:41 p.m.]: wtv

You [9:42 p.m.]: u still wanna hang out?

sassy queen 💁🏻 [9:42 p.m.]: Yes please

sassy queen 💁🏻 [9:42 p.m.]: Want me to pick u up

sassy queen 💁🏻 [9:42 p.m.]: Where are u rn

The head tilt is unconscious, but you feel it click in place. You’ve mentioned how Jeongguk is caring, how he can read your needs like no one else and caters to them quietly, but he’s never this pliant, this malleable. You like him because it’s hard to get him to bend (and you’d rather die than let Jeongguk know about this).

You [9:43 p.m.]: is ok

You [9:43 p.m.]: i’ll just walk

You [9:43 p.m.]: be there in 10

The walk usually takes you less than 10 minutes, but before meeting him, you decide to head back to your dorm and change out of these stupid fancy clothes you picked out for the date.

You keep your head low as you walk through the hallways, the full glam you put on impossible to miss as it sparkles under the fluorescent lights, just as your boots' heels echo through the corridors.

Taking off the dress and heels feels like peeling away the embarrassment of rejection, the weight of disappointment settling in as you realize you couldn’t prove to yourself that you could do it, that you can do it, take the leap and let something serious into your life.

You question whether you're even cut out for it when the guy who seemed perfect ended up proving the opposite.

Now, back in more comfortable clothes — Jeongguk's black hoodie from the other day and baggy sweatpants — you feel a little more like yourself. Scared of emotions, scared of commitment, no matter how many hours of your day are spent daydreaming about it.

The second you click the door of your room open, it’s like you can smell a weird shift in the air. And you do, literally sniff, scanning your surroundings for any hint of something burning or out of place.

But it’s not about the dorm in its physical state, no— it’s the odd silence that you’re met with, the people you’re used to sharing the space with now uncharacteristically careful with their volume.

“Oh my god, ___,” that is probably why you’re visibly startled by the sudden voice coming from your side, Iseul looking like containing excitement is the hardest task she’s ever been asked to deal with, just like the few other girls behind her, all practically vibrating, “You’re finally here.”

You furrow your brows, chuckling confusedly at the unusuality of it all— well, it’s not like you don’t get along with these people. It’s just that you’ve never gone over meaningless jokes and talks about the state of the dorm, plus you’ve never exactly been the center of attention like this. It feels off, and it reflects in your uncertain tone, “I am?”

“I’m so happy for you,” Binna chimes in next, grabbing your shoulders with way more enthusiasm than the level of your relationship with her would normally allow, and the way all of their heads nod along that it feels like a coordinated performance is starting to scare you.

“You’re… happy for—”

“I’ve always known you and Jeongguk were perfect for each other,” the affection dripping from Binna’s voice sickens you, maybe even more than the words she’s speaking.

Huh?

You swear you feel your heart skip a long beat before you mask it with an obnoxious, nervous laugh, only growing more when none of them crack a smile or react, “Me and— okay, is this a fucking joke?”

“C’mon, ___,” Iseul says, her sweet voice doing nothing to calm your tension, and if anything it only heightens it, “You don’t need to hide anymore, Jeongguk told Namjoon that you’re his girlfriend.”

Oh. So this must be a fucking joke.

And you can’t stand it.

You barely manage to shake off their relentless curiosity, the entire dorm suddenly buzzing with an interest in you after years of peaceful and civil indifference, and it only overwhelms you to the brim.

Fury boils in your chest as you step out of the building, the cold air failing to cool the anger that flares up within you. With every step, your frustration grows, and you hastily type on your phone as you make your way toward the one person that’s responsible for your temper.

You [10:07 p.m.]: what the actual fuck jeongguk

The response comes so quickly, almost as if he were waiting for you to type it, and you scoff in disbelief. In that moment, you feel a twisted sense of understanding with serial killers. It makes you question how much control you actually have over yourself.

sassy queen 💁🏻 [10:07 p.m.]: What’s up?

You [10:07 p.m.]: why’s the whole dorm asking me how's it like to be your gf?

sassy queen 💁🏻 [10:08 p.m.]: Eeehhhh???

sassy queen 💁🏻 [10:08 p.m.]: That’s so weird

You’re actually gonna fuck this man up.

You [10:09 p.m.]: jeon jeongguk.

You [10:09 p.m.]: they’re saying you told namjoon i’m your girlfriend.

sassy queen 💁🏻 [10:09 p.m.]: Don’t use my full name and the period please 🥺

You [10:10 p.m.]: i’ll fucking kill you.

sassy queen 💁🏻 [10:10 p.m.]: You’re so hot when you’re like this

You [10:10 p.m.]: shut the hell up.

The banging on his door comes shortly after, and Jeongguk doesn’t even flinch. He knows it’s you, and frankly he was even expecting your arrival to be louder, hit him a little harder than it does. And when he lets you in, you storm in his space with no room for oxygen, door closing behind you but unable to contain the volume of your rage private.

“Can you explain why the whole campus thinks we’re dating? ‘Cause you’re not my boyfriend, and I’m not your girlfriend, and this is not fucking funny.”

But Jeongguk evidently does find it funny, chuckling under his hand coming to cover his mouth while the other one lifts to show you the bright screen of his cracked phone, “Really? The uni Instagram page is shipping us.”

“Shipping us?” You snatch the device from his hands, eyes widening as you scroll through the amount of stories posted in the last hour, everyone and their mother feeling entitled to weigh in on your nonexistent relationship. You whine, a hand resting at your forehead in disbelief, “Oh my god, this is ridiculous.”

“What, are you ashamed of me?” Jeongguk asks casually, walking back and sitting on the bed with a soft thud, his whole demeanor relaxed with a nonchalance that makes your left eye twitch.

You scoff, unwilling to grasp how this is even an actual thing happening to you, tossing the phone back at him, “A little bit, yeah. You think this is a fucking joke, huh? I’m now apparently dating the uni’s most popular fuckboy.”

The damned boy in front of you leans on his forearms, pouting just for show, “Hey, that’s mean. I’m no fuckboy.”

Bag thrown to the ground with a violence that it does not deserve, you start pacing back and forth in his room, letting out a borderline insane laugh, not knowing whether to scream or cry, “Yes, you are. You went through every single girl in this building.”

“Do you really think of me like that?”

The sudden sincerity that you think you spot in his tone makes you halt your steps, body turning to him as he sits straight again, his head tilting slightly.

You sigh, frustration mounting, and you throw your head back at the ceiling for any signal from the universe that this is indeed a joke, a bad, huge joke on you, “Jeongguk. Please.”

Silence fills the room next, but it doesn’t make it any easier to think nor does it quite register in your brain, mind racing with jumbled and chaotic thoughts, barely coming through as coherent words, getting intertwined with one another.

But the more you walk from one side of the room to the other, the more you’re almost able to untangle the mess, just enough to start processing what’s happening.

Then, a nuclear bomb wipes it all out, Jeongguk’s words the missile, his quiet tone the explosion, “I don’t want you to see nobody else.”

“What the fuck?”

The aftermath of the destruction is not only loud, ears ringing with a shrieking alarm going off, your figure stiff with shock, but you feel its heat burning your whole body in consuming flames that threaten to swallow you whole if you don’t let them take over, rise, flood every nerve until all you can feel is the rage boiling in your veins when you practically scream at him, ”What the hell does that even mean? You're being selfish!”

“Am I?” Jeongguk asks calm, calculated, gaze locked on yours as if daring you to challenge him further. His tone is maddeningly measured even as he pushes himself off the bed and closes the distance between you.

It’s like he’s planned this— attack after attack designed to destabilize you completely. Not only did he thrust you into the spotlight without warning, claiming you for the whole campus to see as if you’re worth nothing more than a stupid prank and a few laughs.

But now he talks with a grace that belies the chaos he’s stirred, as if his words are just another fact, something as simple as the weather, “I haven’t been seeing anybody since this summer. Since we started using no condom.”

Your pupils tremble with something far more complex than just anger, though you refuse to give it a name. He’s practically towering over you, his stance purposeful, making you feel small; as if the intensity of his gaze is not enough that it makes you falter, as if the humiliation he’s putting you through isn’t either. Head shaking, your voice does too, “That’s— not true. You’re a fucking liar. You— What about Haeun?

“Nothing even happened with her.”

The speed of his denial sets you off, an incredulous scoff breaking free as you roll your tongue against the inside of your cheek—a habit you’d picked up from witnessing his easy tempers, “Then why did you tell me you kissed?”

“Because—” Jeongguk hesitates, and the pause is so out of character that it almost gives you whiplash. The boy who always has something to say suddenly seems unsure. His hand flexes at his side, a nervous tick you hadn’t noticed before, and he exhales as if the words are fighting their way out of him, “‘Cause— I was jealous.”

“Jealous?” Your voice cracks on the word, a laugh bubbling out of you that’s sharp and fractured, borderline unhinged. It cuts through the room like broken glass, and his expression tightens, jaw clenching. But he doesn’t interrupt.

“Jealous,” you repeat, louder this time, your incredulous tone thick with rage. “You’re telling me you made up that bullshit because you were jealous?”

He doesn’t respond, and it pushes you closer to your limit, on the verge of exploding. You don’t know how you find it within you, but with a long exhale and a quick prayer up at the ceiling, you meet his gaze in an almost patronizing manner, “Jeongguk, we are not exclusive. I thought that was well implied. You don’t get to act like this. You don’t get to be jealous.”

Nodding along to your words, Jeongguk’s brows draw together, his expression somewhere between anxious and defensive. There’s something in his eyes, something close to fear, but fear of what, you can’t quite place.

When he speaks, his voice is softer than yours, as though he’s trying to keep it from breaking, “I know. We both agreed to that, yes. We’re both allowed to see other people.”

The words feel rehearsed, like he’s repeated them to himself a hundred times. But with the silence stretching, it’s clear he’s struggling to say more. His lips press together briefly, and his gaze flicks to yours, searching. It’s as though he’s waiting — no, hoping — you’ll interject, offer something to fill the space.

You don’t. You hold firm, tilting your head slightly, your confusion evident. Your wide, questioning eyes, so big, so honest, pull the truth from him in a way you don’t intend, and he exhales like it’s been forced out of him.

“But I don’t want you to.”

The sheer audacity of his words hits you like a slap, the kind that stings more because of its unexpectedness. You snort, although there’s nothing particularly amusing about your heart cracking at the middle, but you manage to keep it from resounding in your words, "That’s so fucking mean. Do you even hear yourself? You get to fuck whoever you want, and I’m kept hostage? And now—now everybody thinks we’re dating!"

"That’s good," he says, simple, unflinching.

You blink, disbelief coursing through you as your lips part in a strangled gasp. "What?" The word is half a whisper, half a shout, and it escapes before you can temper it, "You’re so selfish. I fucking hate you.”

The emotion is foreign from what you’re used to showing him, softness in quiet ways, affection in silent gestures. But now, it’s all loud rage, the opposite of love spilling out of you in volatile waves. Your hands curl into fists at your sides, itching for release, something, anything to make him feel the way you’re being forced to feel, to cut through the weight of his seemingly impassive expression showing only the barest twitch in his brows, a crack too small to satisfy your anger.

It isn’t enough. You need more.

Your palms find his chest, shoving him with the force of every burning feeling inside you. “You’re stupid,” you spit, watching him take the push without exactly budging, like he’s made of stone. It only stokes your frustration further, your hands pushing again, harder this time. “And dumb.”

Jeongguk doesn’t step back, doesn’t fight you. He stands there, his chest steady, absorbing your hits without a word. His lack of resistance only makes the storm inside you rage harder, and the tears you’ve been holding back threaten to spill over.

You scramble for more, anything to turn the reality of what you truly feel into the illusion of anger, “And— and— Why the fuck are you silent! Say something!” You aim another punch at his chest, but it’s impossibly weaker, the exhaustion showing in your useless attempts at getting at him.

You sniff, and you know you lost against his indifference, your voice wavering feeling like a confession you didn’t mean to make. “Asshole. You’re being so mean. You’re making me cry.”

That’s what finally breaks him. Only the tears slipping rapidly from your eyes get his resolve to crumble. His hands are on you instantly, gripping your shoulders gently but firmly, refusing to let you squirm away. You slap at them weakly, but his touch is steady, his fingers brushing strands of hair from your face, cupping your chin to tilt it up toward him.

“Toots, no. Hey, hey,” he whispers, his tone soft in a way that disarms you completely. His thumb swipes at a stray tear, but your face turns away, evading him like it’s your only line of defense. He doesn’t back down, “Stop crying. Hey, look at me. Will you?”

“Stop calling me that!” You finally snap, jerking your face away again. The tears are spilling faster now, no matter how much you want to fight them, no matter how much you want to cling to the fury. “I hate you. You’re fucking all the girls in this college, and I’m only fucking you, because— because—”

“God,” Jeongguk groans, exasperation dripping from his tone. You’re about to hurl another half-formed insult or maybe even take a swing at him again, aiming low, but his next words stop you cold.

“Do I have to spell it out for you?” His tone is quieter now, more deliberate, the vulnerability in it cutting sharper than anything else he’s said. “I like you. I broke the rule.”

You’re sure your heart will fail you today. It misses at least four beats, and it steals the oxygen from your lungs, along with the color from your face.

You stammer, eyes widening as your pulse picks up again and pounds in your ears. “Don’t—don’t say shit like that. I swear to God, I’ll actually fuck you up. Stop—lying to me.”

“What the fuck, ___? I’m not lying to you,” Jeongguk’s voice attempts to be steady but it can’t hide the desperation, as if he’s holding on by a thread. “Why would I?”

The question is simple.

Why would Jeongguk lie to you? Does he have a reason to fake this?

The world seems to tilt, the ground beneath you shifting in some irreparable way.

You should feel scared. You should feel repulsed at the thought of commitment, the weight of his words pressing against you like a cage. But you don’t.

Instead, your eyes dart between his, searching for cracks in his sincerity, like a frantic spectator watching a tennis match, every glance like a volley in the game of something bigger than either of you. The matchpoint sends a thrill through your chest, something overwhelming and terrifying but not unwelcome.

Jeongguk watches you closely, feeling the weight of the silence between you stretch on longer than he can handle. He knows he’s the one that should break it, knows the truth he’s holding inside has to be spoken now.

It’s now or never. He can’t keep pretending—this isn’t just some casual thing to him, and he’s not ready to let it slip away without a fight. You’ve become everything he didn’t know he needed, and yet here he is, paralyzed by the fear of rejection, of being vulnerable, of watching the one thing he wants most slip right through his fingers.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? If he doesn’t speak up now, he’ll lose everything. His fear has no place in this moment anymore.

It’s a long exhale before his voice drops in soft honey, shaking with the weight of the truth, “Look. I know it’s hard to trust me. You’ve seen me fuck up multiple times over this stuff. But I want to stop this cycle. I want to allow myself something good,” his eyes search for any signal that he should stop talking, but in yours he finds every reason for him not to, “And you’re everything good that life will ever concede me. I can't… I can't let you go. I can't lose you.”

"Jeongguk…" His name slips from your lips like a prayer you've been too afraid to speak aloud until now. But you see it— he’s ready to find every solution, even if it means confronting the fear that has held him back for so long.

“I like you so much it’s killing me,” he admits, voice low and raw, every syllable cracking with vulnerability.

It’s a slow realization, like a tide that comes in quietly, softly. You’ve felt its caress for so long, and now that it embraces you wholly, you feel your heart expand, filling with the same warmth, the same longing.

The words you wish you could say are caught in your throat. You look up at him, eyes wide, trying to comprehend, to take in what he’s offering. You’re almost afraid to ask, as if the answer will shatter something you’ve worked so hard to protect, “You like me?”

“I lose my fucking mind when it comes to you.” His confession is a rush of honesty that sweeps through you, his eyes not leaving yours, like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he blinks.

The world feels like it’s slowing down. There’s so much you’ve been holding back, but you don’t know how to make the words fit, how to make them sound right.

Jeongguk takes a small step back, his voice quieter but still heavy with emotion. “It’s okay if you wanna end it here,” he murmurs, his words barely above a whisper, like he’s bracing for the worst. “At least it wasn’t because you got with some other stupid guy.”

You shake your head, the thought of losing him too painful to bear. “Stop—” You let out a frustrated sigh, hands curling into fists at your sides. “God, you’re so dumb. This could have been so much easier if you’d told me sooner.”

He looks at you, confusion flickering across his face. “What do you mean?”

You feel your chest tighten, the truth slipping out before you can stop it. “I like you too,” you admit, the words finally leaving your lips hastly, like they were just waiting for the right moment. “I agreed to the date because I thought you were still… fucking around.”

His face softens, and there’s a flash of relief in his eyes. “I wasn’t. Haven’t been in so long.”

“...No Haeun?”

“Hell no. I don’t want no kiss if it isn’t from you.”

You laugh, a low sound that fills the air between you. “Cheesy fucker,” you tease, but there’s a warmth in your chest now, a feeling you can’t ignore. “Well, if you want to know, I wasn’t seeing anybody either. Namjoon asked me out randomly, but I haven’t been with anyone else since… this started.”

His eyes widen slightly, and for a moment, everything is quiet. He looks at you like he’s just heard something he never expected to hear. “Oh,” he says softly.

“Yeah.”

Jeongguk steps closer to you, his hands reaching for you, voice thick, “I’m so sorry, baby. I never meant to make you cry. It’s breaking my heart.” His thumb brushes across your cheek, gently wiping away the remnants of the tears you hadn’t even realized had fallen. “I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head, your heart swelling with both regret and tenderness. “It’s okay,” you say softly. “I’m sorry for yelling all that stuff at you. I don’t hate you. I…”

Before you can finish, his lips crash against yours, and all the confusion, all the fears, prove themselves to be worth this moment.

They dissolve into something real, the kiss trying to make up for lost time, for all the things left unsaid.

When you pull away, your foreheads resting together, Jeongguk’s voice is quiet but determined. “Come here, baby. You’re mine.”

“Prove it.”

[keen-li]

MR RIGHT YOU CAME AT THE WRONG TIME | jjk

18+ MDNI

synopsis: after accidentally switching bags, you end up finding your ways to each other and returning them to each other. But little did you realize that wasn't the last you'd be seeing of him.

song: find me by sigma ft birdy

Jungkook x reader

wc: 12.4k [damn i never thought id write this much before]

genre: strangers to lovers, fluff, smut, angst. (I would say it's kinda a forbidden love, but I don't know you tell me)

warnings: (I don't like writing warnings cause it kind of gives some stuff away, but I feel it's kind of necessary here), so we have cheating, letting a stranger into your home, unfaithfulness, lying, double lives. smut. [I'm kinda lazy at adding warnings but these are the general ideas]

note: if you can't swallow or read the idea of cheating and lying please DON'T READ. Sorry for any typos.

_-_

You tap aggressively on your laptop keyboard; you're trying to get this report done and today seems like the perfect time. You're sat in a café, the sun is setting (making the perfect aesthetic), it's showering a bit outside and you have your favorite sandwich and latte by your side to warm you up. What more can you need.

After an hour you decide you've written enough and you need to get going, plus the cafe's closing soon. So you shut off your laptop and place it into your tote bag. Before you leave you decide to use the bathroom. You leave your tote bag on your seat and carry your little handbag to the bathroom with you.

"Can you watch this for me?" You ask the person who was sat on the other seat of your table, and after they agree you leave to the bathroom.

While you're in the bathroom a man stops to speak to the person who was sat at your table.

"Can you watch this for me?" The young man asks and they nod in agreement.

He places his tote bag right next to yours, in too much of a hurry to pay attention to the other tote bag that was sat there that's exactly the same and rushes to the bathroom.

"Yeah I know, i wish you could be here too" you speak rushed through the phone. "no I won't be alone mark's gonna be with me"

The person on the other side continues to nag.

And in a hurry hoping you won't miss the train. So, you grab your tote bag without paying attention. You nod in appreciation to the person who doesn't even have their attention on you.

You quickly rush to the train station and get on a train back home.

Back at the café the young man grabs his bag and heads out too after giving his appreciation.

"I bet they weren't even watching it" He mumbles to himself.

And he's surely right.

-

"What the fuck, where's my lapto-" you exclaim as you dump out the contents of the bag. You run your hands through the emptied-out contents and pick up an ID card.

"Wait? This isn't even my bag" you come to the realisation. You should've realised that when you weren't met with the sweet flowery smell of your bag when you opened it. But now that you're staring at this ID you realise it's really not your bag. You thought someone stole your laptop but they stole your whole bag.

"Jeon Jungkook? The fuck" you exclaim as you eye his ID. You eye the little picture showing his face, damn.

You chuckle at how handsome he is. You scan through more of his documents and find a permit for a motorcycle, you lift your brows.

"Motorcyclist. Cool" you hum.

You snap out of the thrill of going through jeon Jungkook’s stuff when you realise you don't know how to get back your own stuff back.

You search for any phone number but you find none. You're growing a little frustrated now. He has no information in his bag that can help you locate him. You run your hands over your face and you sigh not knowing what to do. You wanna cry so bad, your laptop is in your bag. Shit, you wanted to complete your report when you got home, you've got to get it done tonight.

What the hell are you gonna d-

Your head snaps up when you hear a knock at your door. You drag your feet to the door and peep through your hole, you can't tell who it is cause they have a helmet on. You didn't order anything so you open the door, curious.

He turns to face you and speaks.

"Y/n?" The man asks, his voice muffled by his helmet.

You stare at him with a confused face.

"Did I order something?"

He mumbles an apology as he takes off his helmet. He brushes his hair back into a more presentable position and you take in his facial features. Time slows down like in the movies as he arranges his hair, he's helping you debunk the theory that all Motorcyclists are unattractive.

You know his face, you've seen him before, somewhere.

"People always think I'm in delivery when I have my helmet on" he chuckles.

"Jungkook?" Your brain clicks where you've seen him from.

He smiles "looks like someone found my ID"  he tucks his helmet under his arm.

"I had to. I assume you went through mine if you found where I live"

"You got me there" He raises his hands in surrender. You laugh as you move out of the door way.

"Wanna come in and do a formal exchange?"

"Yeah sure"

Jungkook walks in and can't help his eyes from wondering. Your apartment is nothing too exciting, it's boring he thinks.  But it's not like his is any better, if you stare closer into his apartment you'd find some unpacked boxes that he hasn't bothered to unbox and just stares at since he moved in.

But your apartment smells great.

You walk into your kitchen and internally slap yourself.

"Wow, looks like you did more than find my ID" he exclaims as he puts his helmet and your bag on the table.

"I'm so sorry, got a little frustrated" you rush around to pack his things that you left all over your counter back into his bag.

"I can't blame you, had a little fun with your stuff too. I even tried your cherry lip balm. Might get it for myself too" he puckers his lips and you eye him hoping he's joking. You take it as the time to admire his lips and you catch yourself before you're staring for too long.

"Did you really?" You ask sternly.

"If I did would you be mad?" He raises his brow maintaining his comedic and warm personality.

"Well yeah, I barely barely know you" you emphasise. Which is weird that you let him into your house even though you barely know him.

He nods knowing that it would be weird to try a stranger’s lip products.

"Well, I'll have you know that I had my own cherry lip balm"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah why do you think my lips look so good" he sends you a kiss which you dodge and you both laugh at.

"Never thought I'd find a guy who wears lip balm" you walk to your fridge.

"Yeah guys need to start moisturising their lips, makes it easier during kissing"

You ignore he's comment and jungkook thinks he might have over stepped it, which you wouldn't agree to but you wouldn't disagree.

"Do you want something to drink?" You ask staring at` him from your fridge.

"Yeah sure"

You walk over and hand him a beer.

"I almost forgot, I got you this" you knit your eyebrows confused about what he might have forgotten to give you, you don't even know eachother.

You watch him reach into your bag and you stare at him questionably.

You closely monitor as his hand pulls out a little box which you recognise is from a bakery. Your confusion grows even stronger.

He pushes the box to you and you reluctantly take it and open it. It's a little cake slice.

"Why-"

"I saw on your ID that it was your birthday so I thought I'd get you that"

You blush at his kind gesture. You didn't get to celebrate your birthday, you don't care though  but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Your sister is in another country while your boyfriend is... you don't even know where he is actually. You were supposed to spend the day together but he bailed and so you decided to spend your night alone and do your report at  the café and finish it at home. But you couldn't cause of this inconvenience. You wouldn't call jungkook an inconvenience though, right now he was a making your birthday something memorable.

"Thank you" you smile gently.

"No problem, but were you going to spend your birthday night by yourself?" He asks trying to lighten the mood with his charming tone. "Did you do anything exciting today?"

"I went out with my friends for lunch" you remember.

Jungkook nods.

"But that's not enough, you can't spend your birthday night alone."

You chuckle at his enthusiasm to lighten your mood.

"I'm fine jungkook, this cake is enough for me" you hold the little box closer to you.

"Let's order some food and watch a movie" he pulls out his phone "that would be fun. Would you like that?" He stares waiting for your consent.

"I assume you've got a TV" he pauses to look at you.

"Yeah i do" you chuckle " and I wouldn't mind" You say wondering if it's the right choice to allow a stranger to stay any longer in your house. Jungkook didn't seem like a threat though he seemed quite like comfort to you. 

-

"How did you find my apartment anyways" you ask  in-between bites.

"Oh that was easy" he says as he takes his time to chew and swallow.

"Well I got your address from a document in your bag and when I got here all I had to do was say i was a friend of yours and showed them your ID"

You're stunned by the information.

"So they'd just let some random to my apartment"

"I'm not some random" he sounds offended.

"Then what are you, my friend?" You lean in closer to his face to mock him.

"I can be" his voice lowers as he leans in closer to you, also mocking. You stay looking at each other like that. Your eyes fall deep into his and so do his into yours. You pull back from your thoughts when you notice jungkook look at your lips.

"I think we should stay off the beers" you chuckle leaning back into your side of the couch. Jungkook at the other end of the couch leans back too,  seemingly agreeing with your statement.

Jungkook stretches his hand to your table to grab his can and emptying it down his throat.

"You know I didn't even notice you had tattoos" you say after sometime gawking at his tattooed arm.

He stretches his hand out and gawks at it too.

"How didn't you notice?"

"To be fair i didn't even notice you had even taken off your jacket" you take a dry swallow as you turn away from his gaze.

"Oh I took it off a while back" he eyes the black t-shirt he has on. "Wanna take a closer look?" he says hoping you say yes.

"Sure, I have a kin eye for art" you say moving closer to jungkook's side of the couch.

"Says the person who has such a boring apartment" he mocks

"You know what I'd loooove to see your apartment" you defend back as you lean your elbows on your couch head.

"I bet you would" the statement comes off a little sensual but you don't mind. You've gotten so comfortable with jungkook so fast, but he makes you feel comfortable more than anyone has. You've never found someone to tease and who can tease back, it's fun to have someone to have a progressive conversation with.

And now that you're staring at jungkook's arm you get to see and know a little more about him.

"Did these hurt?" You ask softly

"Not really. I've got a really high pain tolerance" he states proud of himself.  He watches you intently as you eye each ink and drag your finger over them.  You seem to forget that you're dragging your finger over his skin which causes him to feel every sensation of your touch.

"You must be great for bdsm" you say harmlessly. You say really random shit when you’re comfortable and slightly buzzed.

Jungkook almost chokes at your forwardness, but he doesn't let you in on his shock.

"Wanna find out?" he says and you choke on the air you suck in, a blush forms on your cheeks and you hope jungkook can't see it. He smiles seeing the effect he's comment has on you. He likes it.

"I'm just joking" he flicks your chin trying to establish he's playfulness. You’re disappointed cause you'd really like to find out, and you're not sure if he really meant it or he was seriously joking.

Being drunk around a hot man is not the best for you.

"You're sad?" You widen your eyes at his statement.

"What?" He lifts your chin to look at him. You're close enough at this point that if jungkook moved slightly your lips would meet. You're okay with it though,  you're comfortable with this , you're comfortable with him.

You’re actually really hoping he kisses you.

"Why are you sad?" His voice is low as his eyes stare deep into yours, you can't seem to turn away from his gaze. You don't want to lose the feeling, the feeling of being pulled into an unexpected moment of bliss.

"I-im not sad" you fumble around your words a little nervous now that he's speaking.

"Well  you look like it" He scoots closer to you and places a hand in your thigh. He watches for your reaction and when you don't protest he cups your cheek.

"Want me to take you on a ride on my motorbike?"

"So that what? I die on my birthday?"

"You wouldn't die if you're on my bike" you scoff at him "do you think I'd let you?"

"I don't know would you?" You trace you hands through his hair.

"I wouldn't. You'd be safe with me" his words make your heart flutter.

Jungkook's eyes lower to your lips and before you can make any comment his  lips are on yours.

He takes it slow giving you a chance to say no if that's what you want,  but you don't instead you tug on his neck pulling him closer to you.

You should've pulled away and said no, i have a boyfriend  but you didn't,  you don't.

You don't want to stop, you don't want this to stop. 

You don't.

He doesn't.

And by the way he's pulling you onto his lap goes to show how he really doesn't want to stop.

You want to keep this feeling forever.

You never want the feeling of his hot, wet mouth on your neck to stop. You don't want the way his large hands roam your ass to stop.

And he doesn't want the way you grunt and moan into his mouth to stop,  he doesn't want the feeling of you tugging on his hair  ever stop.

Some people would condemn you to why you're making out with a stranger on your couch, and to those people this is no better than a one night stand from a club.

"Fuck" he groans into your mouth and you halt your hips.

"What?" you scan his face for any un-comfortability.

"Nothing , it just feels good" he tugs at your hips to keep going and you do.

Your mouths meet again and jungkook sucks you into him once more. You forget any rational thought.  All the rational thoughts you should be thinking of like; what about my boyfriend, I have a boyfriend, are far lost in the bliss.

It's one thing that your doing this while you have a boyfriend but it's another thing to drag jungkook into this. You need to tell him, he doesn't deserve this.

But you can't.

You can't tell him. You don't want him to look at you like a bad person (but you'll be one if you keep going anyways)

You don't want to ruin this new found friendship, this new found comfort.

You can't let this go but you can't drag jungkook in too.

"Wait"- you say placing your hands on his chest and he stops worried.

"What? What's wrong? Did I-"

You shake your head.

"No, you've done nothing wrong" you get off his lap "I just can't I'm sorry"

"Don't apologise it's fine" he sits up feeling the uncomfortability from his groin. "Just tell me what's wrong"

You wrap your hands around your torso.

"I just can’t"

"Come here" he says softly to try and comfort you. He tries to take you into his arms but you move away.

"If you wanna stay over you can, cause we're drunk" you try and comfort yourself for your actions. "I'm going to bed."

You walk away and jungkook doesn't say anything, but watch you walk away.

Maybe he’s gotten to comfort himself, he thinks. He’s a strander after all why is he acting like he’s known you for forever.

When you wake up you're gonna kill yourself for letting a stranger sleep in your house,  just because what? He makes you feel this new found emotion and comfort.

-

You wake up with the sun hitting your face. Your feet touch the ground as you walk to the bathroom to wash your face.  As you stare into the mirror you remember the events of last night.

Jungkook.

You rush to your living room and obviously he's not there when you get in. But he left you a note.

I think I forgot to give you this....

And a follow up is a set of numbers, which is probably his phone number. You should probably call him to found out if he's okay.

You pick up your phone to call him but you stop.

"What If he's asleep, it's probably too early" you turn on your phone.

"10 am?, damn what the fuck" you must have slept late last night and really knocked out.

You tap in jungkook's number and you walk around nervously as it rings.

Soon enough there's a voice that picks up.

"Hello" the voice speaks and you begin to wonder If it's jungkook, the voice sounds too professional. Maybe jungkook gave you someone else's is number as a joke.

"Jungkook?" You speak nervously.

"Y/n?" He recognises your shakey voice "Are you okay, did you sleep well?" He asks concerned.

"Oh, I'm okay.  I was calling to check on you." Your fingers tap against the counter. "You left with saying goodbye"

"I didn't want to to wake you, you looked so peaceful"

So he saw you asleep, you hope you looked atleast presentable.

"Plus I left you my number" he adds.

"Yeah well,  what time did you leave?" You bite you lower lip.

"I left quite early, at 5"

"What? did you atleast sober up?"

"Yeah a little" you hear him chuckle.

"A little? Don't tell you didn't let yourself sober up fully" jungkook can feel the lecture coming.

"Y/n I'm fine, I got home safe" he sighs.

"And what if you didn't, jungkook you could've gotten hurt" your tone gets more disciplinary.

"Well I'm fine, but if it makes you feel better I'll never do it again mommy"

You roll your eyes and his snarky joke.

"Well I don't believe you."

Jungkook sighs from behind the phone.

"Well if you don't believe me you can come check for yourself" his tone is low.

"Where are you?"

"I'm at work" he says bluntly.

"Jungkook!" You exclaim. "You were going to work the next day and you let me make you drink"

You hear him laughing.

"I'm good y/n. I handle my alcohol well" you scoff at his cockiness. "Plus I wouldn't have gotten to kiss you if I didn't"

You can feel that feeling in your stomach ignite again.

"About that jungkook I'm sor-"

"I have to go y/n but I'll talk to you later. Bye" he cuts before you can apologise and something in you wants you to believe that he did that on purpose. He doesn't want to hear you apologise.

-

"You didn't say uno so you gotta pick up" You exclaim, holding you cards for dear life.

"What stupid rule is that" he whines "I'm literally about to win" he continues to whine but instead you grin at him and nod for him to pick up.

"I'm not playing anymore, let's do something else" he drops his cards in defeat. One thing you've learnt about jungkook through these rounds of uno is that he doesn't like to lose and you enjoy beating him.

"Why? Afraid I'll beat you once again" you mock, he rolls his eyes as they watch you pack up the cards.

"No. It's just that I haven't seen you in two weeks, you think of want to spend the rest of the night playing uno"

You chuckle "You mean spend the rest of the night losing"

Jungkook scoffs ready to defend himself like a child. "I would've won if you didn't bring up that stupid rule"

"It's the rules jungkook" you shrug your shoulders.

"A stupid one" he mumbles.

You return to your spot on the floor with folded legs, after placing the box of cards back on the shelf.

"So what do you want to do?" You fold your hands over your chest feeling self conscious about how jungkook now has his focus on you. He notices your little actions and moves his eyes from your body to your eyes to make you feel less awkward. But it only makes your mind race more.

"Lets talk about you, about me. About our favourite things." He moves his legs to get more comfortable. "Get to know each other, you know?"

You let some silence linger as you wonder if it's a good thing to do. Will you be able to go back if you start getting to know him. But to be fair there's no way of going back after you let him into your apartment again.

"So you're telling me that you, y/n? were a pageant princess?" He gasps in disbelief , as he gawks at the picture of you in your pretty pageant gown with a tiara.

"Yeah I was, is it so surprising?"

"Yeah, you were so cute" he looks at you analysing your features "what happened" he furrows his brows.

You swing the photo book and he groans when it meets his skin with a hard smack.

"Ouch, I guess you lost the pretty face to a bad attitude" he says through groans.

"Hey!" You exclaim as you continuously smack him with the book. Jungkook holds your wrists to stop you and when you do stop, he forcibly pulls you closer to him and you almost fall on top of him.

He lowers his voice "Hitting me won't get your beauty back princess" you squint your eyes when he grins.

You move back but jungkook stops you by your waist.

"I hope you know I'm only kidding " you look down at him as his eyes try to convince you. " I happen to think you have retained some of your cuteness from childhood"

"Jungkook if you want to express how beautiful you think I am just do it" you tease.

He smiles "Okay then" he pulls you closer making you sit on his lap. "Well y/n I think you're a very beautiful and stunning"

You shake your head telling him you're not moved.

"Well I'm not done" he grins. " I also think that you've got a really gorgeous smile and I love the why you blush when you do" there’s more he’d want to add but might be crossing a bridge he won’t be able to go back on.

"i don't blush" you turn away from his gaze.

He turns your head back to him with his fingers "well tell that to your burning cheeks" he traces his finger over the apple of your cheek and it makes you want to blush.

You want to open your mouth and defend yourself  but jungkook beats you to it.

" if you're about to say how your cheeks aren't burning,  I can take you to a mirror right now."

You can't fight back cause you know he's right,  you can feel your cheeks burning.  You feel It all the time when he looks at you or when his skin touches yours. And also when he has his hands rubbing your ass like right now.

"You look pretty when you blush" he whispers against your lips and before they can meet you push away. He furrows his brows in confusion , you smile to which his confusion grows stronger

"Let's talk about you now" you whisper back.

You've been talking about yourself and you want to hear about what jungkook likes or dislikes , or any of his embarrassing stories. You already know he doesn't like to lose but you wanna know more.

"What do you wanna know?" His tongue grazes over his lower lip as he stares at yours when you speak.

"I wanna know why a guy like you is single"

Jungkook is taken aback by your question. He let's the lump in his throat drop down as you wait for his answer.

You really hope he doesn't turn the question back to you,  cause you don't think you'll be able to lie that you're single. You shouldn't even have asked him, you're now regretting bringing the question up. You want to shrug the question away but he speaks before you.

"A guy like me?" He questions " what kind of guy am i" he leans back to hear your reply.

Your mouth releases a little laugh as you reply.

"Uhhh" you suck in a breath between your teeth.  Jungkook stares at you encouragingly.

"A guy like you, warm. Approachable" he gives you a look of being unconvinced.

"You're really hot, great personality. There's a lot I want to say but I can't" you whine at being unable to describe him.  Jungkook is hard to describe cause he just makes you feel alot you can't fit him into a word.

"Why don't I help you find your words" he moves closer and his hands returns to you hips.

"How?" Your voice lowers.

You're curious.

You watch his eyes lower and his tongue graze over his lips. Your heart beat begins to quicken.

"Tell me how you feel when you see me" you stare at him, lost in his eyes. He pulls you back to earth with a squeeze of your hips and a chuckle.

"Tell me"

"Uhh, I feel... relaxed. Like I'm at peace you know" he nods

"I also fell free and comfortable.  I usually don't feel free to tell people things like I tell you" you and jungkook have been texting when you're not around eachother and in those texts you've shared some things that you haven't been able to tell your boyfriend (cause he says he's been busy).

You've shared with jungkook how much work has you stressed and he's been supportive and giving you some solutions. You wish you could express to jungkook how much you wish your boyfriend would pay attention to you and give you his time of day, but you know it'll probably mess things up.

You feel fucked up for feeling peace, joy and comfort in jungkook when you're supposed to feel that from your boyfriend.  You just wish your boyfriend would step up and maybe you wouldn't have to look for comfort in another man.

"Now tell me how you feel when I look at you"

You sigh feeling more relaxed to express what you feel.

"I feel seen, I feel noticed and uh" you find it hard to say what you want to.

"You can tell me" his voice softens as he rubs your skin comfortingly.

"I feel wanted" you lower your eyes and watch your fingers that play with each other.  Jungkook’s heart pumps and a smile forms on his face. If only you knew how much he thinks about you and how you have him wrapped around your finger. He’s not even sure how it’s possible to feel this way about someone so fast.

"I'm glad you feel that way. I want you to know that I do want you."

You lift your eyes to meet his warm ones that never stop admiring you.

"Cause you make me feel wanted too" he adds and your heart sinks. There's no going back from this. You can't believe you're being this selfish by dragging jungkook into your fucked up life.

"Jungko-"

"Now tell me how you feel when I touch you" you swear his voice has dropped 3 octaves deeper. He moves in closer to you to empathise.

"Tell me how you feel when my hands are on you, when I caress you and when I kiss you" he places a kiss on your jaw. Your body automatically opens up for him to move in.

"Tell me how it makes you feel" his voice vibrates against your skin and you wonder how the fuck you'll be able to open your mouth if it's not to release a moan.

"Y/n" he encourages you to speak.

"it feels good, it feels fucking good" you spit out "it's warm. It feels suffocating in a good way." You pause to catch your breath from his kisses.

"It feels like you mean it, like you want to"

"And I do, I mean it so fucking much and I want to so bad." His mouth moves to yours and he wants to kiss you but he waits.

"Do you want to?"

Fuck.

You don't know what to actually fucking say. You don't want to say no cause you do want it but you can't say yes cause you have a boyfriend who's innocent and jungkook who's innocent too.

You just wish you and jungkook met in different circumstances. You wish you met him earlier. But if you did would it have felt this good.

" jungkook i-" your voice is cut off by jungkook's phone ringing. He stands to pick It up but he doesn't answer. Instead he just sends a text. You have no clue of who he's  talking to but you honestly don't need to know.

"Uh, I have to go" he says picking up his stuff. He seems in a little bit of a rush, you wanna ask him why but you need your own excuse to not answer his question.

"Oh okay" you walk him to the door. Your goodbyes are awkward and you don't even know why. Well you know why you're being awkward but you don't know why jungkook's being awkward.

When you lay in bed you think of what jungkook said.

Do you want this.

It's an important choice to make, and even if you ignore it now its going to come up later. It's better if you end it now.

Maybe you should break up with your boyfriend.

Riiing.

Your ringtone startles you a bit as you pick it up. You sigh when you see the caller ID.

"Hey babe"

You watch his face light up at seeing you answer.

"Hii" you try and feign some type of joy. It's not that you're unhappy to see him, it's just that your situation has you detached and thinking. How can you be falling for a guy you haven't known for long,  when your boyfriend has been their for two years.

"We're you asleep?"

"No, i was just laying in bed"

"Good. I have a surprise for you" he smiles.

"What?" You sit up so he can have a good view of you.

"I booked us a trip to the island"

"What?"

"I got them for your birthday, but I needed to clear my schedule first, so we couldn't go then"

You feel a lump begin to form in your throat.

"But now we can. I know that I wasn't there for your birthday and I'm sorry. I know getting you flowers and a card isn't a good enough present from your boyfriend."

"Mark it's fine I don't mind" well on your birthday you did mind, but now that you've fucked him over, his fuck-up doesn't feel as bad as yours.

"No no, I should apologise. So take this trip as my apology"

"Do you wanna go?"

This feels like another pressured question again.

If you say yes to one question then you're saying no to the other and you don't think you're ready to answer any question.

-

"I missed this" mark says nuzzling deeper into your neck. Your hands, like a programmed machine,  running through his hair.

" I missed being in your arms" you don't even answer your mind is to clouded with thoughts. You haven't talked to jungkook for the past week. Mainly because you haven't answered his texts or answered his calls. Or even answered the door when he knocked. You thought it would help you make a decision but it hasn't. It only made you confused (and cry a little).  Especially for the fact that Mark has now been trying to get back into your good graces (not that you feel that you deserve it anymore) it just makes you even more confused.

"I really want to be a better boyfriend y/n you know?" He lifts himself up. "I really want to be better for you"

"Mark please" you try and stop him, you don't need him saying what he wants to say. It's not gonna help your case.

"I really love you and I want the best for us" he kisses your hands and your chest tightens. You can feel the lump in your throat grow and air slowly leaving your lungs.

" I just really love you " he kisses your hand once more and you break.

"Mark please don't say shit like that" you stand, moving away from the bed. He stares at you confused at the sudden outburst.

"Y/n, what's wron- and mark? What do you keep calling me by name. Are you okay is something wrong"

"Nothing's wrong" your voice shakes.

"No there's something wrong" he narrows his eyes and walks to you but you put your hands out and walk backwards.

"If its about the trip, I understand why you can't go. It was selfish of me to think of my own schedule and not yours too" he comforts you, but there's nothing comforting about it.

" I should have been better with my planning. But we can do something else just within so i can make it up to you."

"You don't have to make it up to me" The tears burn in your line.

" I do babe, I haven't been the best boyfriend, you know"

And you haven't been the best girlfriend too, you've been the worst. You've been the absolute worst.

"No you don't. You're not a bad boyfriend. I'm the bad one" you lower your head and the tears fall. Mark notices and walks to hold you. You don't fight back and just let him hold you as you sob.

" YN you're not a bad girlfriend. You're the best. The best i can ask for and the best I'll ever need" his words pulls at your heart.  You hate this so much, you've fucked it for the both of you.

You sob into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be sorry. Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?"

-

"Jungkook where have you been" a soft feminine voice speaks as he places his bags down.

"Ivy, can i just get some sleep I've been busy"

Ivy follows jungkook to the bedroom.

"Speaking of work. I called in to your job the other day and they told you you haven't been doing overtime" she folds her arms of her chest. "So where have you been if it's not doing overtime"

"I've been working on person projects" he says not bothering to stare at her.

"So you've been inbetween your personal projects legs huh?" She spits and jungkook's jaw locks. He doesn't like to argue with her, nothing ever goes anywhere.

"You know jungkook, you can make your life easier" she walks closer to his now shirtless and towel wrapped body. "If you just marry me, my dad will give you the money and you can be with whatever whore your wanna be with after that." Jungkook's body tenses when she lays her hand on his chest.

"Just marry me kook" her green eyes stare at him deeply.

"I'm not going to marry you ivy and you know it" He pushes her hand away.

"Then why don't you just break up with me!" She snaps.

"How many times have i done that? You won't fucking leave" he runs his hands through his hair frustrated.

Now that ivy thinks that he's seeing someone else, he only hopes she doesn't want to dig deeper and find you.

"Why do you even want me? You can find me other dude who'd be willing to fucking deal with this arrangement, shit"

"Why are you saying this like you weren't in favour of this before"

"I don't love you anymore, get that through that delusional brain of yours" he can feel the vein in his head want to burst.

"You never say that when we fuck"

"We haven't had sex for more than a year"

"Yeah because of you" her voice rises an octave.

"And that's because I don't want anything to do with you"

He walks into the bathroom and she follows.

"Jungkook what happened to us? Mm"

He stills, watching the water run down.

"Maybe it was when you threatened me just so I can marry you" more like when he realised she's crazy.

"But that doesn't change anything "

"It's does for me. You can't do all that crazy delusional shit and expect me to marry you "

He drops his towel and let's the water trial down his skin.

"Maybe you never loved me" jungkook groans listening to her speak.

"Maybe you’re right." He sends a cold glare. "Now can you let me take a shower in peace"

He stands waiting for her to leave and when she does he turns back to his warm water.  And with every touch of water all he care to think about is you. He just wants to be in your presence right now to feel some peace. To feel your warm embrace and touch.

To take in your scent that haunts him, to hear your voice say his name and tell him silly stories. He love listening to your mumbles.

But back to reality.

He might have just fucked up, but if ivy finds out who you are she's not gonna let it rest.

-

"Jungkook what are you doing here" you ask surprised but a little glad.

"Hearing your voice on calls isn't enough for me" he steps closer to you and you let him in.

"I've missed you y/n"

"And I've missed yo-"

"Show me" in a flash you're against the wall and jungkook has you off the ground.  "Show me how much you've missed me"

You connect your lips and soon that indescribable feeling is back. That feeling you've been missing and that you've been thinking of everytime when your mind isn't busy with work.

"I've been thinking about you and this ever since the first day I saw you" he lays you down on your bed and places desperate kisses on your neck.

"That must've been very hard for you " you say moving your hands to drop his jacket.

"Very  hard" he whispers by your ear and the goosebumps on your skin increase even though the heat in the room is increasing.

Jungkook's hands roam your torso until they find your chest, with your pebbled nipples.

‘’plus you’ve been ignoring me, which just hurts even more’’ he says looking at your face softly.

‘’im sorry,’’ you say but he doesn’t respond.

"but it looks like it's been hard for you too" he mocks you.

"If only you knew"

Even though you were ignoring him, you were dying inside. You couldn’t imgine how much you were hurting and confusing him.

You wonder if it was anything close to you were feeling. You’ve honestly been lying to yourself. And even though it sounds and seems a little selfish, you don’t want to let jungkook go. Missing him hurts.

You greedily capture jungkook's lips, he doesn't fight.  He let's you take the lead in the kiss while he takes the lead in getting you undressed.

You hungrily explore each other's warmth. Jungkook's hands leaves hot trails wherever he touches.

Jungkook presses your lips together even harder to try and fill in for all the times he's thought about you during all these weeks  and the things he'd do.

Even though he doesn't want to, he detaches your lips so that you can catch your breaths. You both breath heavily taking in eachother's heat.

Next thing jungkook's shirt is on the floor and your hands are on his buckle.

"You look so beautiful " he says staring deeply at you. You start to feel a little self conscious and your legs close.

"What? are you getting shy now?" He smirks at you. His hands gripping your thighs to encourage them to open.

"Don't be shy" he hovers over you and places  a gentle peck on your lips, to make you comfortable.

He studies your face as the question that's been on his mind rings.

"Do you want to do this?" He asks softly. The question brings you back to the reality you had forgotten for a moment.  This bloody question, might cost you your sanity and it has, ever since it was asked. He's probably just asking about the sex part but the look in his eyes makes you feel more like a pledge.  A pledge to him, a pledge to yourself and a pledge to something between the two of you. And you don't even know if you're ready to make any pledges.

"I do" you say and jungkook doesn't let your mind think any further when he has his lips on you and has your legs wrapped around him.

You feel the ache between your legs grow stronger and all you want is jungkook. To make you feel like he always does. To remind you that he wants you and you alone.

And to remind you that you want him. You need a reminder. You need  reason, cause you think it's going to make you feel less guilty.

Now that that the sounds of moans and groans has died down and you're now cuddled up under your sheets, jungkook finds it has the perfect moment to ask you.

"Why have you been ignoring me?" He continues to rub your back you continue to sink even deeper in him.

It not that he's mad, its more like he's worried. He's just found something he doesn't want to lose, something he never wants to lose and he can't lose it.

"Did I do somethi-"

"No" You cut him off " You didn't do anything. I've just been going through a lot recently"

"Is it that coworker?"

"No, i had him dealt with" you both laugh.

"good" he places a kiss on the top of your head and it makes warmth spread all over your body. You blush really hard.

"Then what is it?"

You stay thinking for while if you should even ask your question.

"How did it end with your ex" you spit out and he just halts his breathing "I assume you have an ex." You look up at him.

"Yeah I do. We just fell out of it. Wasn't meant to be" he simply states. And that begins the saga of having to lie to you.

Jungkook didn't even want to bring anything about exes up hoping he doesn't have to start lying to you. But you've backed into a corner.

"And if we did start to date. Would we also just fall out" you lift yourself off his skin and the cold seeps in.

"Is this what this is about?" He waits for an answer but you don't give. "What my ex and I had can't compare to what we have"

"Which do you prefer? "

Jungkook chuckles as if mocking you for asking such a question.

"You of course. I'd fucking pick you over everything." His hand caresses your cheek. "I'd  pick you over everything and anything" he says against your lips.

"I just wanna be sure" You say softly feeling worry and guilt creep in.

"Sure about what?"

"That I'm making the right choice"

Jungkook doesn't say anything he just nods in understanding.

"Get ready" he abruptly stands and picks up his clothes.

You knit your brows "I'm taking you out" he says determined.

"What jungkook its 10 pm"

"Yeah it's still early. Get ready, I'll meet you at the entrance. "

You watch him walk out and you scoff. What the fuck has gotten into him.

You smile.

-

"Jungkook what the fuck have you got me doing" you say still not over the adrenaline and fear of being on his motorbike.

"Just come with me" he pulls you into a building and has your hand in his every single step as he makes his way. After pressuring him you find out that he's brought you to  karaoke bar.

"Jungkook why did you bring me here you know I can't sing" your legs follow him as he leads you to your karaoke room.

"I know that's why I brought you here"

You walk into the small room and your eyes can't help but look around you've been to a karaoke bar before but it's a little bit different when you're not with a group of screaming girls.

"Here's yours" jungkook hands you a mic. "Wanna go first"

"No you go first you're the one who brought me here"

"Okay. I just want to let you know it'll be an easy decision after the judges hear my voice" he smirks.

You roll your eyes at his cockiness.

You wouldn't pin jungkook as someone to like slow music but you also wouldn't pin him as someone who can sing. Guess there's more you need to know about him.

Jungkook sings out to his love song of choice. He passionately stares at you as he sings every word and you can't help yourself but smile widely. Fenty has nothing on the blush you have on now.

"If you wanted to serenade me you could've done it at home. You didn't have to drag me out into the cold night." You say as jungkook ends his serenade with kissing you on the forehead.

"I'm no basic, boring man sweetheart"

He surely isn't. He takes a seat in the little couch as he watches you sing now.

Unlike him you go for a more upbeat sing about how you're the girl of any man's dream.

After doing  your little dance and pointing at jungkook. Your song comes to an end and you throw yourself on the couch and into jungkook's arms that wrap around you warmly.

"You're definitely the woman of my dreams" he smiles down at you.

"I don't know who the judges are gonna pick now" you brush your nose against his.

"I don't know about them but I'd pick you" his hand moves to your hip.

"That's the only reasonable answer" you lean closer into him.

"Mhm" he closes in and your lips touch. You relish in the warm feeling and the hot touch he has on your skin.

You're too focused on eachother's mouths that you don't see the couple that notices you through the clear door.

"Is that jungkook?" The guy asks with furrowed brows. He eyes jungkook's tattoos a little longer.

"You know him?" His girlfriend asks.

"Yeah but who's the girl that with him? Cause that's not ivy"

And as if on cue you and Jungkook separate and your face comes into view.

"Y/n? What the heck is she doing here." His girlfriend exclaims this time.

" you know her ?" He stares at her.

" Yeah she's my friend  and that's not her boyfriend."

Her hand goes to the handle but her boyfriend stops her.

"Let me do it." He opens the door and calls out.

"Jungkook?" He calls out.

Jungkook turns to face the door and his heart drops when he sees his friend.

"Fuck" he mumbles " Taehyung what are you doing here?" He stands blocking you from taehyung's sight.

" I came from a date with my girlfriend , then I saw you and wanted to say hi to you and ivy. But I can see a whole lot of you and not a whole lot of ivy. what's going on bro?" He whispers.

Taehyung glances over you once.

"Can we talk outside?" He lightly pushes out the door. That's when your friend walks in.

You sat awkwardly on the chair as you wait for jungkook to finish talking with his friend. Even though you don't know what him and his friend are talking about you know that something is definitely not okay, and that feeling of guilt starts to bubble inside of you. Your face falls and heart drops to your ass when you see your friend walk into the room.

Now you're fucked.

"Y/n what are you doing here?" She laughs more in shock.

"Sana listen to me"

"I'm listening " she takes a seat. "Now tell me the reason why I just found you kissing another guy who's not your boyfriend. or maybe you and Mark broke up tell me, maybe I'm mistaken."

You begin to panic and you know you're gonna stumble on your words soon. You're not scared that she might tell Mark, you're more afraid of the fact that she might start to see you in a different way. And the pressure to tell Mark intensifies . You fucked up you know it and you feel bad for it already.

"It's not like that. Mark and I are still together." She gasps to mock you. " it's just that me and him haven't been good recently and I-"

" you found another guy and cheated." She blunts out.

" it's not that I cheated, well I did cheat but it's not like I went out looking for jungkook. He found me and things just happened I didn't mean for them to happen but I couldn't stop it." You panic the words out.

"Y/n I'm not here to judge you. You're my friend the last thing that I'd want to do is Judge you but as your friend I wanna know what's going on and I want to hold you accountable. Maybe give you some advice help you with your situation" she places a hand on your shoulder "So you can tell me"

You run your hands over your face and groan.

"You know I never meant to actually like jungkook. But I did. And I don't know what to fucking do. I don't wanna hurt mark" you sigh "Plus he's been trying to make up for his wrongs and I feel so bad. I'm the one holding this relationship back now" you frown.

" Yeah I wouldn't say what you're doing is right" she laughs.

"Sana I'm being serious right now" you give her a stern look.

" Okay" her smile falls into seriousness "you aren't holy but Mark isn't any holier. He neglected you."

"But he's making up for it"

"Without first apologising and acknowledging what he's done wrong. Doesn't sound good enough" she leans back in her seat like she's a talk show host digging into the life of a celebrity. Sana has no friendship with mark, she doesn’t care for him. But that doesn’t mean she’s in support of your doings or his.

"I know you're in the wrong but don't let him off the hook so quick"

"But I just feel so bad"

You let silence linger for a little longer.

"Tell me this" She faces you. "Who do you love more? Jungkook or mark"

"Ugh I can't"

"You have to"

"I'm doomed if I do and doomed if I don't. Cause if I tell Mark I've been cheating he won’t want to be with me, and if I tell jungkook I have a boyfriend he won't want to be with me too. And I can't be selfish and lie cause it just hurts me and them both" you sigh ‘’ im scared’’

You take a sip of the beer you had.

"I don't even know how I've been able to keep it a secret. You know i'm such a bad liar" you release a bitter chuckle.

"You just have to take a risk. If you tell the truth and end up alone it's better than living a lie" sana adds. " just have to pick who you want to be with more"

"Argggggh"

She laughs "how good is the D that it has you this confused"

"It's not about his dick" you whine.

"Oh really? So your telling me that his heart and good personality is what makes you come"

You lightly slap her arm in laughter.

"How do you know he made me come" you lower your eyes at her.

She leans in closer to your face.

"I can see it on your face babygirl."

"Fuck this is gonna be so hard to think of. I can't keep running now"

"Jungkook you're cheating on ivy?" Taehyung whispers.

"It's not like that"

" Oh so are you and ivy are broken up?"

"I've tried to break up with her but she won't leave"

"Is that the reason you'll give for cheating?"

Jungkook groans.

"Not It's not. I just feel bad for dragging y/n into this." He runs his hands through his hair. " even though ivy says she doesn't care, she's going to freak out. I just wish she'd just breakup with me"

"I'm a shitty boyfriend why the hell would she want to be with me?" jungkook continues to mumble out, feeling the effect of his actions creeping in.

"Well I wouldn't say you aren't a shitty boyfriend." Jungkook glares at him "but you need to come clean."

"Yeah I do"

" Okay, who do you like more"

"I mean if I loved ivy I wouldn't be here right now. So I guess I like y/n more" he thinks a little longer about his words. "Actually I fucking love y/n more"

"Then there is your answer, now deal with it." Taehyung says. He’e really not the type to stick his nose in jungkook’s relationship but he feels the need to help him with this. He can see the toll that it has on him.

"It's not that easy" he whispers more to himself.

-

"Y/n" jungkook says before you close the door on him.

"You know I care about you right? Like I really do" you don't know where this is coming from but you understand and you know he's being truthful.

"Yeah I do"

It feels like a slight lift off his shoulders, jungkook just really needs to reassure you that he cares about you.  And he hopes that cushions the fall of his lies.

"I just want you to know that.  Cause I don't take what we have as a joke or for granted"

" and neither do i" you say holding your door open.

You stand there like two awkward teenagers.

"Have a good night y/n" you watch him want to walk away but your voice calls out and he halts.

"I know tonight didn't end so well" you both agree. The ride back home was quiet and all you could hear were the whispers of the wind, and it telling you to grow a pair.

"But i was wondering if you could stay the night" you hold your breath waiting for his answer. Jungkook's heart leaps for joy, that's a confirmation for him that you don't hate him. But maybe that's because you don't know the full truth yet

He knows it’s probably not going to be a light fall when the time comes.

"I can" he says walking towards you and you open the door to let him in.

"I really never want to lose you" he whispers to you before you shut the door.

-

"I know this is not better than being on a beach, but it's a good make-up" he says swinging your arms around. "Plus this is where we came for our-"

"Second date" you finish for him.

"Correct, when I made you my girlfriend" you smile when he turns to face you.

Mark is your first relationship that has ever made it past a year. You never thought you were going to end up a together, cause you were friends first, but you ended making official after deciding how much you liked each other and shared the same values.

Before dating you had spend a lot of time just hanging out as friends, but one night he had seemed to be fed up with just being friends and he asked you out. To which you said yes cause if how much he really fit into the box of what you were looking for.

But now that jungkook's come along you aren't sure of what you are really looking for.

You had so many bad experiences that when your relationship with mark hit a year. you began to overthink and wonder if it would end too, which caused a bit of a pull back from you but Mark assured you that he wanted you forever. Next thing you know you've been together for 2 years.

About a month after your 2 year anniversary you began to notice a pull back on mark's end.

It got you worried but you pushed away the thoughts thinking that maybe it was cause he had gotten a job a town away. Which had you two spending less time together.

You actually wanted to end it but he assured you that it was nothing and he was just stressed and that everything will be fine when he finds another job back home or if you move to him.

Moving out of town was a no from you and that caused a huge argument about how inconsiderate you are.

Next thing you know you're going weeks barely speaking to each other, he misses your birthday (bur tries to send a gift) and you meet jungkook.

And all of a sudden after meeting jungkook, Mark starts to care and be a better boyfriend.

Maybe you should've just moved to Mark.

"Let's take a picture" his voice snaps you back to reality.

"Yeah that would be cute" you say enthusiastically.

You snap a few photos with his phone looking like the most happy couple.

"Let me see them" you reach over to take his phone but he pulls back. You stare at him with knitted eyebrows.

"I'll send them to you" he rushes out his words. Instead of digging in deeper,  you just nod.

"Let's go before it closes."

The sun is setting and you're sat in a restaurant.

"Today was fun" you smile at Mark who returns the smile.

You feel his warm hand still on yours as he admires your face.

"What?" You question him with a tint of blush on your cheek.

"I'm just thinking of how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you" he places a kiss on your hand. You can't help but relish in the feelings of Mark showing you affection again. You missed this, this is what you've been wanting.

But even through this reconciliation you can't help but think about jungkook and compare what you have with him to what you have with Mark.

"I want us to get better. Fall in love again" he says.

"You're saying that like we fell out of love" you say under a chuckle.

"No no that's not what I meant, I just want us to start again" you sit there listening to him as his thump strokes your hand. "Cause I really love you y/n. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you"

Normally the thought of spending the rest of your life with Mark should excite you, should make you happy and be the only thing that you want to do. But with jungkook in the picture you're unsure. Not unsure that there's something to hold on to with jungkook and what you could have (assuming he even wants to be with someone who had a boyfriend all along )

You begin to wonder If I would be worth it to leave Mark for Jungkook, what if jungkook decides to leave after you tell him then you'll end up alone at the end. but you'd have to tell Mark everything if you do decide to start over.

"Do you love me y/n" he asks voice vulnerable and weak.

" Huh?"

"Do you love me?"

You stare at him hoping hoping silence isn't too long to cause suspicion of doubt.

You guess it's time to make a decision.

" I do love you" you spit it. from the lens of a microscope your words carry a fib but you've already said it.

Mark smiles.

"Maybe we should think about you moving with me" his words take you back, moving out of town and in with him will mean a lot. It'll mean you'll have to find work in a new area and you don't know if you wanna go through that.

"If you're worried about a job, I already have something lined up for you" he says like he just read your mind. You wish he could read your mind so that you don’t have to tell him about jungkook yourself.

"What do you say babe?" He holds your hand tighter trying to evoke an answer.

-

Jungkook furrows his brows confused to why the lights in the apartment are dimed.

As the moves his hand to brighten the lights, ivy's voice stops him.

"Don't turn them on you're gonna destroy the ambience" she chuckles but jungkook doesn't find anything amusing.

"What's going on?" He says sounding tired. And frustrated.

"Why don't you sound happy, look what I did for you" she says maintaining a her bubbly persona.

Her hand wraps around Jungkook’s wrist to pull him to the dinner table.

He sighs when he sees the alignment of decorations and food set up.

"What's this ivy?" He groans

"I prepared dinner for us. So that we can start  over."

He puffs out a gush of air. He's honestly tired of this and just wants it to end. He needs to break it to her for the last time.

"I won’t be here long enough for dinner" he says bluntly paying the table that had over and hour's worth of preparation no mind. Jungkook hears her light steps follow him.

"What do you mean" she watches him and gets even more confused when she watches him pull out a suitcase.

"Jungkook? "

"I'm moving out" he wishes he had done it earlier maybe it would've been better. Jungkook doesn't even get the chance to watch her face drop, too occupied with packing. He’ll return later on to collect the rest of his things.

"I found an apartment last week " he says the words stoically.

‘’jungkook, you can’t be serious’’ she begins to panic.

“ivy’’ he says softly and for the first time in a while he stares at her.

“im sorry’’ his words come out as genuine as ever. Even though things may have changed between the two of them, he still remember the love they had in the beginning and the girl she was before.

‘’kook what about us, we’ve been together since high school’’ tears fill her lines.

‘’I know, but maybe it’s time to move on.’’ He sighs ‘’I don’t wanna hurt you’’

She sniffles, ‘’well, do you hate me?’’

He shakes his head ‘’I don’t hate you, I never have’’

‘’I just don’t think we’re good for each other.’’

She places her hands on his chest in plea.

‘’kook I love you’’

He wraps his hands around her wrists to move them.

‘’I know, but I don’t think we’re good for each other’’

‘’we can start again.’’ She rushes her words out.

‘’you’re gonna be okay ivy’’ he walks past her.

It makes his heart hurt a little to do this but he knows its for the best. He always thought he’d end up with her forever.

Fell in love in high school and thought they were soulmates. But the world showed him otherwise.

Ivy began to change, got a little reckless and obsessed. Jungkook stayed thinking she would changed.

He noticed how she just got paranoid about thinking jungkook was cheating, when he wasn’t at that time. She got a little overbearing but he stayed for whatever stupid reason.

-

‘’I’ll call you when a get on the uber’’ you speak into the phone.

You haven’t spoken to jungkook in a while. He never called you. So you assumed he must’ve forgotten about you.

After thinking long and hard about it. You sent him a text about how you don’t think you could continue what you had and how sorry you are.

It hurt you to send that message but you had to. You couldn’t give up your life for someone you had just met.

Even though you haven’t told mark about it, you assume it would be alright as long you end it with jungkook.

He never responded so you assume he got the message. His lack of respond make sit easier for you to leave but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt your feelings.

You wonder how things went from zero to hundred and back to zero in a second.

But it’s reality, it’s not a fantasy where jungkook and you would end you together forever.

It was fun while it lasted.

When jungkook got your message, he couldn’t respond cause that’s not where he wanted to have this conversation. He wanted you talk to face to face to see if you’re really being serious.

He doubts though, you can’t just change overnight.

He hasn’t texted you in some time but you also haven’t called or texted him too. So he assumed you needed some time.

He had to settle down and figure out how he was going to tell you and fix all this.

He knows he’s been looking at this situation with rose coloured glasses on, but that doesn’t make what you have any less true.

You could work through it right?

Reading the text hurts jungkook every time, it confuses him too.

But he’s not going to let this go just like that.

‘’hold on’’ you call out when you her a knock at the door.

Your hand turns the nob and when the door open your heart sinks that you almost close the door.

‘’yn’’

He soft voice speaks and your heart breaks.

‘’jungkook’’

He watches the way you avoid eye contact.

‘’can I come in?’’

‘’I’m busy I have somewhere to go’’ you say trying to get him to go.

‘’yn please can we just talk’’

You sigh after your internal battle. You open the door to let him in.

When jungkook walks into your room he eyes the packed bags you have laid out, looks like you’re moving.

That explains why you’re dressed like you’re about to leave.

‘’you’re moving?’’ he asks but doesn’t stare at you.

You don’t answer but you feel how distant you from him. Peace is far from you right now.

‘’with who? Your boyfriend?’’ jungkook didn’t mean to say it but he did. He’s frustrated and a little angry.

‘’what?’’

You’re taken aback by his words and your heart begins to race.

‘’w-what are you talking about’’

‘’I know yn’’ he says softly and unmoved. His fingers in his pocket tap away.

‘’what do you know’’ you sound like an idiot right now.

Jungkook chuckles.

‘’I know’’ he says sounding a little shameful. His words confirming your thought and you sigh rubbing your head.

He walks around your counter and leans elbows against the surface.

His eyes on you feel heavy and they add pressure to your chest. You can’t tell what he’s thinking or feeling which makes it even worse.

Is he mad and came here you tell you off, or does he not mind. That’s not possible he definitely feels some type of way about it.

‘’I don’t care yn’’ he runs his hands over his face.

You don’t register his words before you speak.

‘’how? When did you find out’’ you lower your eyes to the ground and rub you hands over you arms feeling a wave of cold air wash over you. You feel embarrassed.

You feel like puking like the world is closing in.

It’s worse than how you felt when sana found out. You feel like a heavy weight crush over you. The pressure on your shoulders increase.

Jungkook doesn’t answer your question but his mind goes to the birthday card he found in you bag the first day you guys met.

‘’this isn’t how I wanted to tell you’’ you avoid his eye contact. ‘’I was going to tell going to tell you I swear’’ your voice wobbles as the lump in your throat enlarges.

Jungkook nibbles at his bottom lip. He knows by your reaction you probably didn’t hear what he said but he can’t help but feel a lump of his own form in his throat.

He walks over to you and you feel his warm arms wrap around you.

You’re confused to why he would even want to hug you right now, he should be mad. He should be pushing you away and telling how much he’s disappointed and doesn’t want to be with you.

Telling you how much you aren’t the girl he thought you were.

He should be mad, but the hand rubbing your cheek and wiping away a tear says otherwise.

He uses the hand on you cheek to lift your face. You watch his eyes stare into you. They’re soft and gentle, like he’s not mad. His thump rubs your cheek and your body unconsciously moves into his.

His other free hand moves to your lower back and pulls you in.

Your thoughts forgotten in second, you loved how he always was able to make you forget everything else.

‘’its okay’’ he says and you finally register his words. ‘’I don’t ‘’

‘’you don’t?’’ you ask voice, weak and soft.

‘’I don’t baby’’ he whispers softly against your lips.

You want to ask him why, but you can’t. especially when his lips are grazing yours. You feel that warm and familiar feeling of his lips as they peck yours slowly and passionately.

You close your eyes feeling the moment sink in.

Feeling his lips sink in.

You tilt your head to allow a better angle for him.

His lips hungrily interlock with yours. body pulling in deeper until it impossible but you don’t pull back.

you don’t want to.

but even if jungkook doesn’t care, you can’t let this go on. You’ve already agreed to restart with mark and you can’t let that go.

Its’s better for jungkook anyways.

And since it’s your last kiss with him you wanna feel every last taste of him. Every feel of his lip ring grazing your skin.

Your hands find their way to Jungkook’s neck and into his hair. You pull him even closer as your tongues graze each other’s mouth.

The light moans and grunts you release causes a wave to wash over him, like electricity.

He nibbles at your lower lip as his hands move to grope your ass.

You moan.

‘’jungkook’’ you say his name for no reason, but you cant think your mind is foggy and you’re out of breath.

‘’you make me so crazy…’’ he says before going back into overlapping your tongues.

He makes you so crazy too. So crazy that you forgot about the uber mark called for you.

But in this moment you couldn’t think of anything. With the way jungkook was holding on to you, you couldn’t.

He kissed you like you were the air he breathed, the air he needed.

The air he wanted.

This kiss too made him forget everything too, he has just restarted his life and he wants you to be apart of it.

His lip move to your neck and leaves kisses everywhere he can. You gasp and pull at his hair when you feel his hands roam your body.

‘’I only want you yn’’ his lips kiss you by your ear as he whispers ‘’I only want you…’’

His hands move to your thighs and squeezes lightly.

If you let this go any further it might be hard for you to leave.

‘’jungkook’’ you whimper out.

He hums and pulls head away from your neck.

‘’I can’t’’ you say with a heavy heart.

You watch how his face falls and it breaks your heart.

‘’im sorry, I did this, im sorry I dragged it out’’ your body pulls away and the cold seeps in. ‘’I shouldn’t’’ jungkook felt like he was having his heart ripped from his chest.

‘’im sorry’’

Jungkook wants to be mad but he remembers his own transgressions.

He did plan on telling you about ivy when he came here, but he just got so distracted.

And he doesn’t think he can tell you right now.

What would be the point anyway, you don’t want to be with him.

He watches you walk over to your bags and text someone.

He folds his hands into fists frustrated with himself for bring a coward and letting you go. But he can’t fight for you, what ground does he have to stand on. He’s a liar too.

And he doesn’t think he’d be able to tell you.

All this for you leave. He’s really hating himself right now.

But it’s not the right time for him to fight for you, it would only make you more confused.

‘’im sorry too’’ he’s apologising for many things some of which he should’ve told you about.

You listen to him speak. You were kinda hoping he would say more to make want you to stay, make you not want to leave.

Just something to make you realise you’re meant to be here with him.

But you guess there are none.

But it’s not his job to make you want to stay.

‘’Thank you for everything jungkook’’ you try to form a smile.

_-_

I'm glad I have this out of my drafts now. :)

[jam3sacaster]

you are INCREDIBLE!!! ✨ Thank you so much for all the amazing Rupert fics 😍

Could I please request a Rupert & reader fic where they are at a New Year’s Eve party and he can’t take his eyes off her. Before the 10 second countdown he walks towards her to make sure he’s the only one who gets to kiss her

thank you ever so much my DAHHLING 🥰🫶🏽 i’m so glad you like them 🩷 what a smashing idea!!!

“Happy New Year, angel.”

(Rivals) Rupert Campbell-Black x Reader (ft. Lizzie Vereker)

Suggestion by this lovely reader 🥰 / You start the New Year off with a bang, as you encounter Mr Campbell-Black…

18+ FANFIC / Soft Rupert 🥹. Kinda short but hope you love! Reader character aged at 21. 🩷🩷

It was 11:30pm on New Year’s Eve. The residents of Rutshire took it in turns to throw an annual ball and this year was the turn of Rupert Campbell-Black. He had hired a designer to aid him in decorating Penscombe Court and by designer, he of course means Lizzie Vereker. Despite Rupert’s general lack of effort, the ball had an incredible turn out — packed with every resident of Rutshire, both people he hated, and that hated him.

He stood on his own in the corner of the room and surveyed the scene. Drunken couples danced sloppily to the blaring music, and a few stragglers had found their way to the snack bar. A gentle hand placed itself atop Rupert’s shoulder, and snuggled beside him. Instinctively, he wrapped his arm around them — it would definitely be an adoring fangirl. “Enjoying yourself?” The small voice peeped from the crook of his arm. Looking down at them, he spied his tawny-haired friend, Lizzie. “Oh hello, darling. Umm… Yes, I suppose. Boring really, isn’t it?” He sighed. “You’re lonely.” She declared, squeezing herself from under her arm and standing in front of him now — frustrated arms crossed. “What? Don’t be silly.” He chuckled without a smile. Lizzie’s accusatory stare burned holes into his skull. She was the only person that could see straight through his Lothario facade. Softening her expression slightly, she took a big gulp from a champagne flute she had quickly nipped from a passing server and informed him, “New Years is the best time to meet people! Everyone’s full of joy and love.”

“Where’s James?” Rupert quizzed her but she took another swig of her champagne and spluttered through the awfully bitter taste. “Oh, God knows. Probably eyeing up any poor woman that looks his way.” But Rupert couldn’t quite hear Lizzie’s response. In fact, he couldn’t quite hear anything at all. Because, there you were. He had seen you. It’s as if everyone else’s faces had been blurred out and someone had turned down the volume on the entire ballroom. Cascading charcoal black locks, tantalising olive-toned skin and heavenly emerald orbs. A floor-length black satin dress hid your silver kitten heels, and was just low-cut enough to show your cleavage. Crimson red lipstick and mascara-coated wispy eyelashes atop silver jewellery completed tonight’s look. Plain and simple, you looked otherworldly.

Walking away from Lizzie mid-sentence, Rupert approached the bar area and poured himself a pint glass of straight gin. Screwing up his face in disgust, he drank the gin in one and straightened the collar of his crisp, white shirt. Cracking his neck from side to side, he exhaled gruffly and strolled into the middle of the room. Every woman, single or not, turned to stare at him. Of course, nothing out of the ordinary there. You, however, were stood in the centre of the ballroom floor, being serenaded at great length to an improvised poem from Patrick O’Hara. Partway through fighting back a yawn, you were barged out of the way — too hard to be intentional — and yelped in shock, champagne sloshing violently out of your glass and seeping instantaneously into the black satin of your dress. “My God, darling. I’m so sorry.” Rupert fretted over you, trying ineffectively to swipe the bitter liquid from your dress. “It’s okay, don’t worry,” You begin, but drink in the man’s appearance before you can continue.

Jet black hair and an incredibly chiselled face. He must be a good few years older than you, but a few years older meant more experience, after all. “Oh my, you must be…”

“Rupert Campbell-Black.” He interjected. “Lovely to meet you, darling.” He spoke as he raised your right hand to his lips, kissing it softly. “Once again, ever so sorry.” He chimes and walks off in the opposite direction, smirking to himself. He had caught you hook, line and sinker already.

-

“10, 9, 8, 7…” The entirety of the ballroom chimed in unison. Rupert was stood beside Lizzie, eyes affixed on the grand clock placed just below the ceiling. You were stood just in front of them, Patrick essentially glued to her side.

“3, 2, 1… HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Was screamed, followed by the noise of party poppers and blow outs. Rupert watched as Patrick began to pucker his lips towards you. There was absolutely no way he could stand by and watch this. He strode towards you and held the side of your face, intertwining his fingers through your curled hair and planting a soft kiss upon your supple lips. The smell of his oud aftershave filled your lungs and allow you to relax into the kiss. Every fibre of your being wanted this kiss to last for an eternity but, unfortunately, he eventually pulled away.

“Happy New Year, angel.”

[moralesluvr]

˚ʚ workout ft. miles morales ɞ˚

♡ pairings & aus: earth42!miles morales x fem!black!reader ♡ warnings: some swears, a little suggestive ♡ summary: you tell miles as a joke that you think you're stronger than him, so he takes you to the gym as a challenge to complete one of his workouts. ♡ a/n: need this man as my gym buddy BADDDLYYYY ♡ got a request? | masterlist ♡

"BABY, ION' THINK YOU KNOW WHAT YOU TALKIN' BOUT."

Miles chucked as his thumbs continued to click away at his controller, curses occasionally leaving his lips as he shot at something on the TV. You were propped in his lap as he played, his arms wrapped around your waist as you would adjust your position on his thigh every once and a while.

"No, Miles, I know it. I'm way stronger than you." You boasted with pride, the sound of your boyfriend's doubtful scoff filling your ears. He heard you pout in response, so he put his controller down and let his character run free as he turned you around, face meeting his as his hand placement relocated to your lower thighs.

"I love you and all," Miles started, and you could practically see the snicker in his voice, "But you not stronger than me, mami, I think we both know that."

"Yes I am." You insisted, "Have you seen my legs?"

Miles tuts at you with a laugh, squeezing the soft skin of your thigh that he was holding, "Nuh uh, we not jus' talkin' 'bout legs, I mean everything."

"But since you insist you stronger than me...we finna go to the gym. You and me."

Your eyes widened, the realization of your predicament hitting you like a train. Uncomfortably, and also out of doubt, you slid off of Miles' lap and placed your hands on your stomach, face puffing, "Can't go. 'M sick."

"Bae, you know you not sick." Miles snorted as he stood up, eyes placed on you carefully. The gleam in his eyes told you that he wasn't taking no for an answer, so you sighed and threw your head back at your fate, wallowing to your drawers to find workout clothes to wear.

Miles was already dressed for the occasion, clad in a white compression tee and basketball shorts. He sat back on your bed until you found a pair of Nike pros and a Lululemon top he bought you a while back. Your face shone of embarrassment when Miles peeped that the tag was still on it.

"Baby, you mean to tell me you had me buyin' that ugly shit just for you not to wear it? Oh nah, you gon' start workin' out with me now." He rose an eyebrow at you, and you gave him a light chuckle,

"It's not ugly! And workin' out around other people makes me anxious, they always be starin'." You shrugged, slipping off a pair of Miles' shorts as they pooled around your ankles. Stepping out of them, you jumped to get your Nike pros on, making Miles chuckle. You frown.

"Nothing is funny."

"What's funny is you tryna get them lil' shorts on." Miles snickered, hand up to his mouth as he flashed you all of his pearly whites. You gave him a nonchalant shrug as you ripped the tag off of your shirt, taking your old one off and slipping it on, "Not my fault. My ass is just fat."

"Can't even argue with that." Miles agreed, making a smirk dance on your lips as you finished putting on your clothes, finding a pair of shoes to wear as well. Finally, you stood up, grabbing a hair tie and scurrying over to where your boyfriend was sitting on the bed.

"Tie my hair up?"

Miles gives you a nod, a rasp lacing his voice as he tells you to come to him, so you do, and he places you in his lap as he pulls back your braids, securing them into a ponytail. You turn around to face him, rubbing your head, "Damn, I said tie my hair up, not tie my braincells up! Why is it so tight?"

"Want it to fall out?" Miles questioned you inquisitively, and when you shook your head no, he stood up with you and murmured an 'Exactly', making you roll your eyes.

He grabbed his keys and wallet, hand intertwined with yours as you left your lone apartment. Anxiety played on your nerves as you made your way to Miles' car, where he opened the door for you as you climbed inside.

The ride on the way to the gym was fairly silent, other than the music that was bumping through the speakers, which you would occasionally bop your head to.

Before you knew it, you had arrived, and you were freaking out on the inside. This whole idea of who was stronger had easily become a nuisance, all because of a joke, but you knew better to say it anyways, because you knew how your lover was.

But, you got yourself into this mess, so you didn't really have anyone else to blame.

You and Miles quickly checked in, setting your belongings into a cubby. As he locked it, he looked down at you, "So, where we goin' first, ma?"

"Um.." you looked around, mainly for anything that looked like it didn't have a lot of people watching, or occupied there. "Squats?"

Miles chuckled, and you froze.

This was not going to go well.

You both made your way to the squat station, where Miles stood by the rack of weights as you took a deep sigh, walking up to the bar.

"What do you start with?"

"Huh?" You murmured, making Miles roll his eyes as he leaned on the rack.

"Baby, what's your starting weight. As in, how much do I need to put on this bar for you to not fall over and bust yo ass."

Your lips flattened out at him as you flipped him off. He didn't retaliate, as his victory would be enough retaliation for your response, so he just grabbed two fives and slid them on each side.

He then walked behind you as you picked the bar up with your shoulders, the 55-pound weight resting on you.

Miles stood behind you carefully, arms at either side of your waist as he gave you an encouraging, light pat on your behind. You sucked in a breath and squatted, quickly popping back up as you smiled to yourself, hanging the bar back up on the rack.

The weight eventually piled up, until a 45 and a 25 were on each side of the bar, making you wince underneath the weight. Your boyfriend did nothing but encourage you as you started to squat, the weight making your knees buckle as you popped back up, letting out a strong wheeze. You stepped away from the rack and placed your hands on your hips, leaning over as you look up at Miles, who laughed,

"You did good, babe," He started, "But that's my starting weight."

Sighing, you caught your breath, not even caring that Miles inevitably beat you in your challenge, you were just happy that you got to show him that you were strong. Maybe not as or stronger than him, but you did have your own level of strength that you could be proud of.

But, out of your curiosity, you turned around to see Miles literally repping your weight. He just kept adding plates like a madman, until the bar was practically filled to the brim. That's when you saw him grow tired, the bar clanking against the rack as he stood up, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead.

"How...how much was that?" You asked him, and he gave you nothing but a mischieveous smirk as he spoke,

"505."

You groaned at him, "Fine. You won."

"Hm, what was that?" He asked you, holding up a hand to his ear as you rolled your eyes at him. You didn't feed his ego, instead, you just reached up on your tippy toes, granting a warm kiss on his cheek,

“You win.”

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 ☻ thank you for reading!

𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑-𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓🕷️: @queenesther996 // @wydney // @rinnyisnothere // @brieryann // @starhrtz // @daisydark // @randomhoex // @solanawrld // @whore4hobie // @tanakaslastbraincell // @simp4miguell // @nyrovi3 // @aziulsworld @enchantingfoxsparkles // @mancerseedu // @cafehyunji @personofyou // @mcdvsr // @calliarlerte // @pr0wlerpunk @tzuyuzzs // @clearskiiiess // @vienreina // @pixqlsin /// @stvrgrl // @zerosinterweb // @mookiebut // @urmotherswhor3 // @cumbermovels // @asmobeuses // @yanghees // @popeheywardssecretgf // @mxspiderman2099 // @scryarchives // @rksses // @mmst4rz

𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ✎: @ilyless // @milesmolasses // @laylasbunbunny // @all444miles // @thecoloredpages // @bl00dsuccker // @adoremvney // @anikaluv // @qtdenks

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @enj4i // @chaoticevilbakugo // @motheroffae // @luci1fer // @art-598

[friedbaekhyunandeggso]

mr. kamo

art credit: @/adrienwithane on instagram

pairings: choso kamo x female oc (kaori everest)

tropes: kindergarten teacher! choso x college student! teacher assistant/aide! oc

warnings: all lowercase, 18+ only, age-gap (choso: 28-30ish, oc: 19), lying/ulterior motives, underage drinking, mentions of weed (once), virgin! choso, dirty talk, pet names (good girl, baby), unprotected s3x, failed pull out attempt = creampie (don’t be silly & cover your willy)

word count/plot: [9.2k] kaori meets her little sister’s kindergarten teacher by chance & can’t forget him. he might not know her yet but she's not afraid to do anything to get what she wants.

a/n: honestly this story is kinda random but i was thinking about choso & this fanart that i saw of him a while ago as a kindergarten teacher. i didn't see him as a kindergarten teacher then but now i kinda think it's a cute concept. i was originally gonna make the oc a cafe worker but the idea for this slightly chaotic oc came in my head hella last min. anyway, i hopeee u enjoy-especially if ur one of the peeps who voted for this on my poll :) happy holidays!!!

“mom! come onn, you can pick her up on your way back.”

she hastily put on her jacket, “stop it, kaori. your dad and i aren’t sure if we’ll make it back on time so i need you. i know you can do it.”

“mommmm, do you seriously have to go to yoga today? aren’t classes twice a week?”

“yes, but todays bring your husband to yoga day so you know i have to. i made your dad leave work early for this.”

suddenly a car honked.

“alright, i’ll see you okay? make sure you get shiloh okay?”

she sighed, “alright, alright.”

she'd wanted to enjoy the fact that her last class of the day and evening work-shift got cancelled but it seemed she had to get out of the house anyway.

great.

kaori parked her car alongside the million other cars at the sidewalk. she was 7 minutes late. it wasn’t terrible but she’d meant to come earlier—if only she hadn’t gotten distracted talking to her friend on the phone.

she stepped out of the car, hastily closing the door behind her. she checked the time on her phone once more before slipping it into her trench coat pocket. she quickly jogged towards the kindergarteners entrance.

she only remembered where it was because she'd went to this school when she was a child. and now it was her little sister’s turn.

she glanced around to see other parents waiting as well, some conversing with a few teachers and—

“ri! ri!” a familiar voice yelled.

kaori immediately spun around to see shiloh pointing at her. her familiar pastel purple puffer coat standing out.

she walked over, noticing the tall white-or grey, was it?-man standing beside her. he had the most interesting tattoo on face, right along his t-zone were stark black lines. and the skin surrounding his eyes was a deep purplish shade as if he lacked sleep. and his hair? his hairstyle was the most.. outlandishly cute hairstyle she’d ever seen.

it was two spiky, space-bun like ponytails at the crown of his head. he wore a fitted long-sleeve purple sweater, layered with a white collared dress-shirt underneath. the sleeves of his shirts rolled up to his elbow, revealing firm forearms. he had on dark grey slacks and matching black dr. martens?? specifically the 1461 platforms? she swore she had the same pair at home.

to say she was speechless was an understatement.

shiloh tugged on his finger, “riri here.”

she let go of his finger then and waddled up-to her. just as shiloh reached out to clutch her finger, he was there. his large hand cupping shiloh’s tiny shoulder.

kaori blinked, she hadn’t even seen him move.

he then bent down, adjusting one of the loose straps on shiloh’s backpack before looking up at her.

“i’m sorry, are you here to pick someone up?”

“yes,” she gestured towards shiloh, “i’m here to pick up shiloh actually. i’m her older sister.”

“ah,” he stood up, revealing his full height before her. he had to be about 6 ft tall-maybe 5’11 but it didn’t matter. she had to look up at him to maintain eye contact and something about it made her jittery inside.

“do you mind showing me your ID?”

right. It was probably protocol for newcomers that came for pick up-and her mother had reminded her exactly of such but-just as she reached for her wallet and examined its inside, her ID wasn’t there. fuck.

wait. she quickly checked the back of her phone case. yes! her fake ID was in there.

she was nineteen but her fake id looked exactly like her real one, minus for her birth year-of course-which revealed her to be ‘twenty three’. she hadn’t used it much but she’d gotten one anyway. last year-well, freshman year her friends were convinced they needed one so they got her on the bandwagon.

she handed him her fake id with a light smile. he took it, examining it for a short moment before handing it back to her.

he removed his hand from shiloh’s shoulder, “nice to meet you, ms. everest.” his voice was flat but not entirely impolite.

she offered him her hand, “kaori,” she corrected, “you can call me kaori. what’s your name?”

he shook her hand steadily, as if it were a practiced motion, “cho-“

shiloh suddenly bounced up and down, “mr. kamo! mr. kamo!”

kaori suddenly blanked with recognition. this was mr.kamo? mr.kamo was the teacher shi would not shut up about-which was rare because shiloh was actually a reserved kid. well, as reserved as a five year old could be but even mom had been praising him for making shiloh come out of her shell.

he glanced down at her, the corner of his lip lifting handsomely. this had to be the first emotion she’d seen on his face.

he lightly patted her head, his tone completely changing, “yes, mr. kamo. this is your sister?”

she beamed up at him. what the hell? she never smiles at me like that? “yes. riri is big shister.”

his smile widened ever so slightly, “alright, have fun at home, okay? don’t give big sister too much trouble.”

kaori couldn’t help but smile at that, “i hope she hasn’t been giving you trouble in class?”

even if shiloh was the reserved type she always like to be on the move. she sometimes had a hard time sitting still and got bored rather easily. adhd diagnosis incoming..

he shook his head, “no, no. she’s been good. she almost took another kid’s juice box today but it was because her water bottle was empty.”

he glanced down at her, “-but we talked about using our words right? we use words before hands.”

shiloh blinked up at him, holding onto the straps of her backpack tightly, “words ‘for hands.”

“and do we steal?”

shiloh turned red at that, “no, no stealing.”

he then raised his hand for her to high-five, “good girl.”

shiloh immediately hopped up to high-five him and he moved his hand at the last second.

“kamo kamo!” shiloh whined before hugging his leg as he chuckled. “mr.kamo! high-five.”

“okay, okay,” he bent over slightly, raising his hand out to her once more.

shiloh high-fived him with a cheeky smile.

he lightly ruffled her hair, “you gotta go home now, okay?“

shiloh scrunched her nose before letting his leg go, “okayy.”

she walked over and wrapped her tiny fist around kaori’s index finger. kaori was merely stunned at how well shi listened.

he nodded at kaori, “i’ll see you tomorrow. i mean-well-“

“yes,” she smiled cordially, “you’ll see me tomorrow.”

Her mom had just picked out the hanger with her coat from the closet when she suddenly heard kaori’s voice.

“wait! mom,” she hastily bounded down the steps, “are you picking up shi?”

“yes, where are you going?”

kaori had on a jacket and her hair styled in a way that emphasized her wispy wolfcut perfectly.

(a/n: if anyone is curious i was picturing her haircut as this bc i think its sooo cute, anyway pls continue)

“it’s alright i’ll pick up shi today.”

her mom blinked, “you will?”

“yep.” she plucked off her keys from the key hanger before heading out the door.

her mom stared after her wake-in shock. she slowly put her coat back into the closet, “okay then.”

she was early, early enough that the teachers weren’t outside yet so she waited in the car, tapping the steering wheel with her almond shaped french tips.

she zoned out to the song playing until she heard children noises-in abundance. she glanced outside the window just as he stepped out the building, the rest of the little kids in his class in tow. it didn’t matter that several other teachers and kids had also just stepped outside. all that mattered was that he was here. and, of course, shi.

she waited until only a few kids were left to step out the car. it seemed a lot of parents liked to stop and talk to him while picking up their child. with his face, she couldn’t blame them.

she took her time walking over, letting him notice her before she approached. which is exactly what he did, he quickly ushered shi forward.

she took off her sunglasses, slipping them into her prada shoulder bag before offering him a smile.

“nice to see you again, mr. kamo.”

he blinked as if stunned. shiloh watched the two of them with a frown. shiloh had been grilled by her sister yesterday, she’d wanted to know everything about mr. kamo. she’d asked her question after question, some questions the poor 5 yr old didn’t even know the meaning of herself.

he subtly shook his head before returning her smile with a faint one of his own. “you as well, kaori.”

her smile widened before she bent down to meet shiloh eye-to-eye. shi pouted, still holding onto mr. kamo’s index finger.

“did you have a good day at school today?” kaori asked, while lightly pinching her cheek.

“yes.” she mumbled.

he glanced down to look at shi’s moody expression. his dark brows furrowed in concern until kaori snapped her fingers.

“mr. kamo, i know this is kind of a random question but what did you major in in college?”

“i majored in elementary education.”

“wow, they had that program at your school?”

he nodded.

“what school did you go to?”

“boston university.”

“boston?” she laughed slightly, “that’s so far out. what made you come here?”

he seemed somewhat taken aback by the question. she wasn’t sure if it was because he hadn’t considered it himself or because no one else had asked, “i.. i like this town.”

“you don’t think it’s boring?” she pried, “-at all?”

“no,” he answered, rather composed, “i like boring. its peaceful here.”

she supposed that was true. there was barely any crime here, most of the ‘crime’ was just college students doing something chaotic during rush season or partying too hard. this town was as nice upper middle class america could get.

and unfrickingfortunately she wasn’t able to get out. she was a commuter so her college campus was merely a fifteen minute drive away. and because she was commuter she had the unfortunate experience of seeing many familiar high school faces.

she’d chosen to commute to save money because her parents deal was that if she moved out they’d help with electricity, wifi and other bills but she had to pay to her own rent. she supposed it was their not so subtle way of trying to help her get on her own feet since she was kind of a crazy spender.

she hadn’t been able to save any of the money she made during high school due to her bad spending habits but she decided she’d lock down this year. she’d save as much as she could so that she could have the chance to transfer somewhere else and move out.

she ran a hand through her hair, lost in thought. she supposed not everybody wanted to get out.

“kaori?”

she was immediately drawn back to reality, her eyes flickering up to his.

my god, are his eyes dark purple? it had to be the sunlight playing tricks on her.

she shook her head, “sorry, i just-zoned out.” she muttered.

“you’re good.” something about the baritone of his voice felt reassuring-despite his tone being oddly detached, “is there a reason why you asked about my educational background?”

ever so professional. she nearly smiled to herself but held it in. she was glad he asked because—

“yes, actually, there is,” she tilted her head, “i actually go to [insert nearby university name] and i’m double majoring in math,” truth. “and education,” lie. “but i feel like im leaning more towards education.” another lie. “but i actually have no experience working with any particular age group so i was wondering if i could..” suddenly she felt a bit nervous but quickly cleared her throat, “y’know, shadow you?”

he blinked-repeating, “shadow me.”

“yes,” she smiled slightly, “shadow you. i’m open to helping out with the class as well but if you prefer that i just watch that works too-but yes, i’d like to shadow you.”

his brows furrowed slightly, as if unsure.

she quickly added, “sorry, i know im springing this on you but i’ve heard that your a great teacher-“ she watched his gaze lower to shi and she beamed up at him, making him smile in return.

she cheered internally as she continued, “-and this would really help me sort out my future career plans. i’ll probably jus shadow you until the end of this semester, which is in a month so i won’t be bugging you too long—“

he quickly shook his head, “it’s not that. i’m just not entirely sure on the protocol for this so.. i’ll have to get back to you.”

he paused, “are you going to be here tomorrow?”

“yes.”

“alright, i’ll update you then.”

and that was how she landed in a classroom of eighteen 5-6 year olds as a young adult who hates kids.

wonderful.

he clearly didn’t hate kids though. in fact, he was wonderful with them. he somehow knew exactly what to say to stop a kid from throwing paint on his friend. he knew exactly how to get a kid to stop crying after getting a ‘boo boo’ and he had little to no problem repeating himself several times to get the simple directions of the activities through the little kids heads.

his level of patience was truly commendable. it was also commendable how attractive he managed to look while dealing with the little menaces. she was truly shocked.

she straightened in her seat when he cloaked the last kid in a blanket. it was ‘rest time’ which basically meant all the kids got to lay out on soft nap mats for about forty five minutes. apparently it was either this or recess after lunch, depending on the weather.

he approached her, looking tired—as usual, “you can take a break if you want, i know its been a hectic day.”

“hectic for me?” she smiled at him, “i was just watching.”

he half heartedly smiled back. he’d decided that for her first day she should just observe, so that she could at least get a gist of what went on in the day.

“can i get you a coffee?”

he sat at his desk now and merely retrieved a thermos from his messenger bag at her question.

“i have some.”

“do you know where the bathroom is?”

“o-of course,” he shot up from his desk, “i’ll show you.”

she followed him out of the classroom, watching as he quickly notified the hall monitor to keep an eye on his class before leading her to the staff break room.

he showed her where the extra utensils, plates and mini fridge were-as well as some extra snacks-before showing her the bathroom last.

he seemed embarrassed about this when-in reality-she hadn’t even needed to go. she just wanted to get him alone.

he shook his head, speaking in his typical monotonous fashion, “i’m sorry, you probably needed to go right away-“

“you’re fine,” she gently placed her hand on his elbow, “honestly, you’ve been so helpful with everything. i’m glad i even got this opportunity in the first place.”

she watched his partially open mouth close as his dark purple eyes dropped to her hand. before he could speak, someone else entered the room.

she quickly dropped her hand.

it was another teacher, mr. benson. she’d seen him send off other students during pick up time.

he immediately whistled at the sight of her, “yoo choso, who is this?”

she smiled tightly, hating when other people talked around her like that.

“this is k-“ he glanced at her before continuing, “ms. everest. she’s shadowing my class.”

“oh wow! nice to meet you, ms. everest. i’m dan benson.”

he noticed that she didn’t offer him her hand to shake, but she did offer him a genial smile.

“right back at you, mr. benson.”

dan came to his classroom a lot after that. well, as much as he could anyway—which was hard since elementary school children usually demanded their teachers attention 24/7.

so it was usually around lunch time when he came to bug them. which usually consisted of him talking at choso while he ate and then roping kaori into unwanted conversation.

well, to be fair, it wasn’t like the conversation was boring but kaori was the worst when it came to people that she had a bad first impression of. it took her a lot to like them even if they tried.

but generally-all things aside-dan was a nuisance. it only took her a few days to figure out he’d be useless for her plans since he didn’t actually know much—about choso anyway.

just as the last kid grabbed their lunch bag and followed the hall monitor out the classroom to the cafeteria, kaori stood up from her desk. her desk was adjacent to choso’s and just about half the size of his.

he watched her stand.

“um-is it okay if i close the door?”

usually he left it open, allowing anyone who walked by to glance inside or wander in if they wanted—and boy did dan take advantage of that.

he held her gaze for a moment, “sure.”

she walked across the room, purposefully walking with a certain gait since she knew she was being watched. she closed the door only to jump when she heard his voice directly behind her.

“dan’s not coming, if that’s what your worried about.”

her eyes widened as she turned around. he was merely a foot away from her, his empty water bottle in hand. she hadn’t even heard him walk..

she finally found her words, “really?”

he nodded, “i asked him to come less frequently.”

she was a bit hesitant to ask but asked anyway, “why?”

“he talks too much.”

they stared at each other for a long moment before she started laughing. the corner of his mouth twitched.

she placed her hand over her chest, “i didn’t want to say it but yes he really does.”

he smiled subtly, “he usually comes by once a week but everyday.. is too much.”

she opened the door for him, knowing his ritual of going to the staff room to re-fill his water bottle.

she tilted her head, “i’m glad we agree.”

if it was silence he wanted during lunch breaks, it certainly wasn’t what he got. they talked, a lot.

he knew she was a college student, with both in-person and online classes. that she was a commuter. that her friends were mostly her high school friends and she hated that fact. he knew she struggled to make new friends and he told her not to worry because he was the same.

she knew he had an apartment. that he had a younger brother in high school, whom he wanted to go to her college since it was nearby. he didn’t have any pets-because he was afraid of the responsibility (ha!). he liked to play the piano. and he really really valued his alone time.

he was truly comfortable in his introvertedness, and something about that made her appreciate him more.

he was truly content with his life. she could tell by the way he spoke about his job and family—well, just his brother but he was truly fond of him. and he didn’t take the responsibility of being an older brother lightly-it almost made her feel like she wasn’t doing enough for shi.

it was truly no wonder he was so good with kids.

watching the way he was with kids made her start to warm up to them as well. she began to look forward to her shadowing days more than she thought and she could only hope he did too.

ugh, the truth was she wanted him bad. the more she talked to him, the worse her crush got.

it got so bad that she started to wear tighter things during her shadowing gig. not that she already hadn’t been—but it was definitely more skimpier than before. like a dress-shirt that was a little too short-revealing a sliver of her navel-or a long sleeve thin enough to show the color of her lacey bra. or a fitted v-neck sweater that ran a little too low at the chest.

god she was a mess. but she couldn’t help but mess with him.

one time she knew he was walking near her and she dropped a toy block on purpose, bending over right as he passed.

she only saw a glimpse of him-through her peripheral vision-but he immediately stopped. from the quarter of his face she saw he was beet-red by the time she straightened, giving him enough room to pass.

ugh, but it wasn’t enough. it wasn’t nearly enough. she wanted him and she wanted him to want her just as much. the semester was almost over and she didn’t know what to do.

pathetically enough, she landed in shiloh’s room. she watched her younger sister play with toy cars in front of a multi-level barbie palace on the floor.

she lay beside her, resting her face on her propped hands, “shi, what do i do?” she sighed.

shi made her cars stop, “do whot?”

kaori eyed her, “i don’t like mr.kamo.”

shi’s doll-like eyes widened and kaori already knew she was in trouble.

“liar.”

“huhhh?” that was the last response kaori ever expected, “did you just call your big sis a liar??”

she shrugged, resuming her task of making two toy cars smash into each other, “you like kamo, i like kamo.”

she stared at shi in stunned silence. in truth, shi and her had gotten closer ever since she began to shadow his class. in fact, shi went to her first sometimes when she needed help, which was a feat considering how much she liked ‘mr.kamo’. even at home she noticed shi wanted to spend more time with her. she supposed that was another thing to credit mr.kamo for.

god, why do i keep thinking of him?!

kaori sighed, placing her head down on the floor. “i need help.” she mumbled to herself.

here she was thinking about a kindergarten teacher while she had untouched college homework and upcoming finals to worry about.

she felt a toy car glide through her hair, “mista kamo help you, kamo help me when i sad.”

“thanks shi.” -_-

kaori was cleaning up the toys left on the carpet while the kids were at recess. it was nice to have some peace and quiet-or what would’ve been if mr. benson hadn’t decided to pop by.

in truth, she didn’t mind him as much now-since he came by less frequently-but whenever he did come he usually had interesting staff drama to share. she loved to eavesdrop on those convos even though choso seemed like he could care less.

to be honest he rarely looked like he cared about anything—or even, alive at that. except for when he was with the kids and during their little conversations (maybe she was just delusional).

she couldn’t help but believe it though. especially when she swore he was starting to smile more. she noticed he always smiled at her whenever she dealt with an issue amongst the kids—she hadn’t realized it’d become second nature for her to look to him to see if she’d done something right.

he was never a second late to offer her silent reassurance whether it be a nod or now, a smile. god, i am such a simp.

“bars?” his monotonous voice pierced through her thoughts, “you know i don’t go to bars.”

“oh, c’monn. its my birthday and i haven’t gotten shit-faced in a while. besides you haven’t met my new girlfriend, nai, yet. i really want you to meet her.”

she instinctively turned around, watching choso’s wide back-which faced her-as he seemed to be shuffling things around in his messenger bag. appearing to look for something.

“bars really aren’t my thing, benson.” he sounded distracted.

she placed the last of the displaced toys in the bin before standing up. dan immediately spotted her.

“kaori! you should come too. are you free this friday?”

choso immediately went still at that, glancing over his shoulder to find kaori right next to him. in her hand was the pen he’d been looking for.

he took it expressionlessly, though he couldn’t describe the turmoil he was feeling inside. it was a nonsensical thing really, but he had a habit of only bringing one pen with him wherever he went. he liked to use it until its last drop of ink before picking up another one.

and she’d found the exact pen he’d been using. he hadn’t even stated that he was looking for it and she’d known.

it wasn’t any of the pens from the cup-holder either, even though they all looked the same. it was the one with only a little bit of ink left, the exact amount he’d remembered seeing when he used it last.

he sure it was just a random compulsion of his, but to think she'd noticed...

“thank you.” he murmured.

she merely nodded before facing dan, “depends, what are you inviting me to?”

“my birthdays on friday and im inviting a few friends and colleagues out for dinner. we might hit a few bars after as well.”

dan suddenly paused, “wait, your over twenty one right?”

“yes.” lie.

“sweet,” he grinned, “then you should totally come.”

she leaned against choso’s desk, crossing her arms—completely unaware of choso’s eyes boring into her, “sure, i’ll come.”

“forreal? great! i’ll add you to the reservation.” dan whipped out his phone, appearing to do just that as he went on, “i’ll have choso forward you the details since he’s coming.”

“i am?” choso muttered.

“yes,” dan confirmed without a second’s hesitation. “you are, because you love and support me and cuz i’m your favorite co-worker.”

kaori pursed her lips to hold in her laugh.

choso rubbed his chin, “whatever helps you sleep at night.”

it was friday, the day of the dinner and choso still hadn’t forwarded her the details. she wasn’t sure if that was his way of saying he didn’t want her to come.

she currently stood outside the school, beside him. waiting for the last few kids parents to show up before she could take shi and head on home herself.

she finally built the nerve to ask him, “mr. kamo?”

he glanced over at her, “yes?”

“do you mind sending me the details for tonight’s dinner?”

she stared ahead as he faced her. she could feel him examining her as she bent over to let one of kids know that their parent was here and waved them off.

she looked back at him once the kid made it safely to their parents arms.

“you still want to go?” he asked, somewhat monotonously.

“yeah,” she then added, “do you not want me to?”

“no, no,” he shook his head, as if just now realizing that that was how his words could perceived, “i just don’t want you to feel obligated to that’s all.”

she laughed lightly, “i don’t feel obligated, don’t worry. i would never feel forced to show up to a party.”

he sighed, “right.”

she smiled a bit, “a birthday dinner won’t kill you, i promise.”

“how are you certain.”

her smile widened at his attempt at humor, “i’m not, but i’ll be there? it’s your job shadow’s duty to follow you around and help out right?”

his eyes narrowed doubtfully, “sounds too good to be true.”

was he flirting? his voice rumbled too much to tell. goddammit, why’d his voice have to be so deep?

she laughed, internally refraining from responsing with all the things her flirt-wired brain wanted to say as she spoke, “i’ll see you tonight, mr. kamo.”

he nodded before glancing down at shi-who was holding onto his finger. he usually let kaori go home when all the kids but shi had left.

he offered shi the most handsome smile, “bye, lo-lo.”

shiloh let go of his finger to clutch his leg, “bye kamokamo.”

just as shiloh let go of him and held onto her finger. she felt a firm hand grasp her elbow.

“wait.”

kaori glanced back, her heart immediately racing.

“do you need a ride? for tonight?”

yes in more ways than one, mr. kamo.

she quickly shook her head. she was hoping he would ask but she wanted to keep him on his toes-for now, “that’s alright. thank you though.”

he let go of her, “ ‘course.”

she stepped into the restaurant, feeling like an absolute bombshell. she knew there was no coming back from this but that was fine. she only had one more week left with him and it was all she could think about.

she wore a slip-style maroon mini dress that had the thinnest black straps known to man. there was a black net ruching at the bodice of the dress, emphasizing her bust just right. she’d used some heat on her hair as well, keeping her sparse bangs and layers swept in a way that made her look effortless yet feminine.

(a/n: in case anyone was curious here is the dress inspo)

she pressed her lips together, making sure her lipstick was still intact as she followed the waiter. she walked with perfect ease in her heels as the waiter gestured towards their private table.

she briefly adjusted her shrug before letting her eyes sweep over everyone at the table.

dan’s eyes brightened, “kaori!”

she saw his head turn in her peripheral vision before she met his gaze. his hair was down—my god, his hair is down. it looked so good, his hair was just a little shorter than her own length.

he wore a fitted, dark gray dress-shirt with the sleeves rolled up and she couldn’t perceive much else because she felt him looking at her. she watched his dark purple eyes take her in. his eyes gliding down her face, her neck, her chest and everything below before finding her eyes once again. the light flush on his cheeks-under his face tattoo-was all she wanted.

she greeted everyone but him at first, before making her way to the empty seat beside him. she sat down, easily slipping off her shrug to hang it over the back of her chair before facing him.

his dark eyes were already on her and she smiled gently, “hi, mr. kamo.”

“ms. everest.” he greeted.

she leaned back in her seat, “i think it’s alright if you call me kaori here.”

“is it.”

she nodded before reaching over to take the champagne flute and take a sip. the restaurant was nice, it was inside a hotel and she had to pass a lot of floors in the elevator to get here.

but nothing was as nice as the man beside her. she didn’t know what cologne he was wearing but god it was making her wet. it didn’t help that his dress-shirt was slightly more unbuttoned at the collar than at work. she swore she could see a peek of his chiseled chest. and the swell of his triceps above his rolled up sleeves?? she'd already guessed the man was built from the subtle outline of his body she’d perceived but—this built?

she just wanted to rip his shirt off.

“kaori,” he said, with that typical deep riff to his tone. she already wanted to hear him say it again, “you can call me choso.”

finally. she smirked slightly, “choso.”

she tilted her head, “i’ve never seen you with your hair down.”

something at the corner of his lip flickered, “i’ve never seen you in a dress.”

that was true. and almost as if it were instinct she watched his eyes glance down to her legs. it was then she realized that her mini dress had hiked up now that she was sitting—an ample amount of her smooth legs free for him to see.

totally not a planned occurrence ;)

he immediately looked away, she didn’t miss the way his jaw tightened.

“do you like it?” she asked innocently.

he didn’t answer right away. he seemed to consider something before he spoke.

“it looks nice.”

of course he would say that. she wanted to smack him in the forehead, but no. this was how he was, and it ultimately made this a lot more fun than she intended for it to be.

she rested her head on her propped hand, “your hair down looks nice too.”

not that she ever minded his hair up in those two spiky ponytails. she’d already asked him why he styled it like that and his answer was simple—the kids loved it.

“thank you.” he muttered.

“when did you get here?”

“just five minutes before you.”

“not bad.”

“i’m surprised you're as early as you are.”

she grinned. she usually was the type to be chronically late to everything. she honestly didn’t know how she had a job, or this job shadowing gig.

“i wasn’t gonna ditch you, don’t worry.”

he squinted at her and she smiled.

“what did you gift him?” she asked.

“i paid for his gym membership for the rest of the year.”

her eyes widened, “what?”

he shrugged, “we both go to the same gym-sometimes together but rarely.”

the thought of him getting all sweaty in the gym… should not have made her feel the way it did. she had to see that in person one day. and maybe help him with cardio.

god, she needed to calm down. maybe taking a few hits from her dab pen wasn’t the best idea.

she lightly tapped her nails against her empty champagne flute, “are you gonna get anything to drink?”

“i did but it doesn’t taste that great.”

he pushed a multi-colored drink towards her. she hadn’t even noticed it was on the table but now that it was in front of her she couldn't help but find the drink rather aesthetic.

“you picked this?” she asked, humor interlaced in her tone. most guys she knew would call something that looked like this a girl drink.

“are you judging?”

“not at all.” she moved the straw between her lips, “what is this?”

“a zombie cocktail apparently.”

she laughed before taking a sip. the flavors that burst into her mouth were quite welcoming.

“mmm, this is good. what are you on about?” she lightheartedly asked before drinking more.

“it’s too sweet for me,” he stated airily, “maybe it’s because i’m hungry.”

hungry for what?

she closed her eyes, sipping the drink until it was done. she set the empty glass down, “i’m hungry too.”

she was using a handkerchief to pat away any crumbs from her lips when dan whisper-yelled, “guys there’s actually a bar downstairs. let’s go, okay? let’s go.”

he was already drunk. he wasn’t able to sit still when the waiters came by to sing happy birthday, but she was able to get a funny video.

his girlfriend, nai, wiped a bit of marinara sauce from the corner of his lip.

“alright, alright, fool. they heard you. we’re all gonna go in a bit.”

she was in the elevator, staring up at him. somehow they’d gotten placed like this.

the elevator was packed with their crew so she couldn’t fault him but-god, when he was this close all she could smell was his cologne. something about it was sexy, bitter and masculine, intriguing in a way she couldn’t describe.

they’d been talking all night and she didn’t want it to end. a pang went through her as she remembered they only had one more week together. one more week until her job shadowing with him would end.

“you okay?” his voice seemed to travel down her temple.

she tried not to take note of how he had to lean a bit lower to speak to her. she glanced up at him again, prying her eyes off his chest.

“yeah.” her voice sounded weak and breathy to her own ears.

she didn’t know how he managed to hear her amongst the ruckus going on in the elevator especially with dan’s loud, drunk-ass but he did.

“you don’t have to go to the bar if you don’t want to.”

a flirty retort rested on the tip of her tongue, but her nerves suddenly came fizzling through. it was hard to think when he stood so close, and looked down at her like that.

“i- i want to.”

she watched him search her face.

“okay.”

the bartender handed her the drink.

“thanks.” she responded with a bright smile.

“i don’t think you should drink anymore than that.”

she glanced over to see choso seated on the stool beside her. he didn't know about her tolerance, and nor did he know that she was technically underage drinking butttt that was a problem for another time.

she tilted her head, “are you worried about me?”

she watched him run his teeth over his bottom lip, “depends. should i be?”

“does it look like i’m drunk?” she asked.

he observed her for a moment before answering, “not really but.. you’ve definitely drank enough to be.”

“what, can your wallet not handle it?” the drinks were really loosening her up.

he grinned-and something about it kicked off the most unruly butterflies in her gut.

she suddenly straightened in her seat, “honestly though, why won’t you let me pay for myself?”

she cradled the drink in her hands as she mumbled, “it’s not like we’re on a date.”

he easily removed the drink from her hands and set it back down on the bar. she knew he was afraid she would drop it.

she couldn’t help but notice how he sat facing her, his head resting on his propped arm. it was a small thing really but something about having all of his attention at once..

his low voice cut through the noise, “do i have to take you on a date to pay for you?”

she opened her mouth, ready to say whatever came to her tongue first until a man approached her.

she couldn’t hear what he said, all she noticed was the stark contrast of choso’s countenance now to when it was just them before. his jaw was clenched and the tilt of his lips betrayed a rather harsh annoyance.

she’d never seen him look this.. hostile.

she saw choso’s mouth move but couldn’t hear his response. all she knew was that his words were rather curt. no humor in them. no smile. no smile.

her fingertips touched his lips and his eyes flickered towards her.

all of the previous tension suddenly melted away from his features, “you didn’t want to talk to him right?” he asked lightly.

she shook her head.

“good.” he muttered against her fingers before he catching her wrist. he lowered her hand to her leg and lingered there a moment longer than he should’ve. his fingertips grazed her thigh, her skin was just so.. so soft.

he meant to quickly pull his hand away but suddenly she moved her hand was over his. keeping his palm flat against her smooth thigh.

“let’s go somewhere else.” she murmured quietly. he swore her eyes sparkled under the bar lights.

he was glad she said it because he wanted to leave too. he didn’t like all those leering eyes… on her.

it made him mad in a way that was different from the times he’d gotten mad before. he didn’t want to think too hard about it.

“let’s go.”

“kaori-“ he glanced over to see her in the passenger seat, her back partially facing him.

“kaori.” he repeated. she still didn’t turn around.

he reached over then, gently moving her hair aside with his knuckles before noticing that she was passed out.

shit.

he knew he could just look up her address in his student directory due to shiloh but.. she lived with her parents. how would her parents react to seeing him there? he assumed she’d already told them she was his voluntary teacher aide at this point, right?

he frowned. he couldn’t be too sure with her. what if she hadn’t told her parents she was out at a birthday dinner—or that she was staying out late at all? did she drive here herself?

he drove around the parking lot, eyeing the cars. he didn’t spot her car.

he pulled over then, glancing at her beside him once more. she lay curled up on the seat now, her legs drawn against her chest, with her hand loosely over her purse and shrug. her sparkly eyeshadow glimmering in the dim car lights.

kaori kaori kaori

she felt a something soft get thrown over her and immediately woke up. she quickly sat up, only to feel a firm hand grasp her shoulder.

“it’s me.”

he watched her anxious expression completely melt away the second she saw him. something inside him softened at the sight.

“did i.. fall asleep?”

he nodded, “yeah in my car.”

he reached for the glass of water on the coffee table and handed it to her. she gulped it down, taking long sips before setting it down and patting the couch space beside her.

he complied, outstretching his arms atop of the backrest as he plopped down. he was rather exhausted, his social battery was shot for the night.

she couldn’t help but take note of the few inches between them. she watched him lean his head back and close his eyes. he looked so relaxed. his adam’s apple bobbing slightly as he exhaled slowly.

her eyes dropped down to the few open buttons at his collar. had he opened more? she just wanted to open them all.

she closed her eyes for a moment, trying to gather herself before she opening them again to look around. his place was sparsely decorated but not entirely empty. it looked minimalistic, modern.

she was finally here.

“you have a nice place.” she complimented. truly, it suited him.

“thanks.” his voice rumbled before he raised his head and looked at her. “i- i can take you home if your ready.”

she shook her head, “i’m not ready..”

she kicked off the blanket off and stretched her legs atop his lap. “i think i need to rest more.”

his eyes immediately went to her legs, fuck, he wanted to touch them. he was supposed to move her off but..

he closed his eyes and moved her legs off of him, “kaori-“

“why do you do that?” suddenly she was straddling him, her pretty face right above his and her hands propped atop his shoulders. her groin merely inches above his.

his eyes were wide, “kaori-!”

“no.” she cupped his chin.

his eyes dropped down to see that her dress had hiked all the way up, above her hips. revealing the tiniest sexiest lace black panties he’d ever seen. he nearly groaned.

she yanked his chin up, “look at me.” she demanded.

“i am.”

his voice was so husky she nearly caved and kissed him but no- he needed to listen first. especially since his hands were digging into the couch’s backrest like his life depended on it. he was still holding back.

“why do you act like you don’t want me?” she demanded.

his dark purple eyes narrowed, “you already know everyone wants you.” he spat.

one of her hands fisted his collar as she leaned close. her face was directly above his now, her chest close to his chin.

“then why didn’t you act on it?”

“you’re my aide, for fucks sake. the sibling of one of my students. there’s too many—“ he flushed, barely able to get his words out, “-it's not app-“

she grabbed his collar tighter, her glare sharpening, “that didn’t stop you from thinking about me though, did it?”

his eyebrows skyrocketed.

"did you think i didn't see the way you look at me?"

"what way?"

"you check me out every morning."

his flush deepened as he gritted out, "do all your shirts have to be so tight?"

"if you had a problem you should've said so."

"you did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"what are you gonna do about it?"

she felt his muscles contract underneath her hand at his shoulder but he quickly looked away, “kaori, stop.”

he didn't meet her eyes until she loosened her grip on his collar.

“i-i’m a virgin.”

“what?” she nearly shouted.

his face was nearly crimson now, but she didn’t care. she didn’t understand how that was possible but something about the vulnerability and embarrassment in his expression made her believe him.

"is that supposed to stop me.." she murmured while cupping his chin, "that didn't stop you, did it? you still thought of me when you touched yourself didn't you."

“kaori—“ his eyes were blown wide, his breath staggering.

she lowered her hips slightly, still not touching his groin.

her hand slid down to his chest, “i still think you know what to do..”

she was careful to only use her fingertips when she played with the zipper of his pants.

“i think you know exactly what you wanna do to me..” she whispered, tearing the last shred of self restraint he had.

she almost screamed when he ripped off her panties with one firm tug of his fist. he unzipped his pants so fast it was just a blur, any shred of control she thought she had over the situation was torn away the second he grabbed her hips and sank her down on his cock.

he stared at her open mouth as she dug her nails into his shoulders. he was so fucking big, she couldn’t think.

she glanced down to see that he’d only managed to fit half of himself inside. half? wtf—there’s more? she glanced at him to see he was panting. his hands on her hips slowly raising her before bringing her down again, making her bounce on his cock.

“you feel so fucking good, kaori.” his fingers digging into her soft hips as his cock twitched.

“so tight.” he breathed out haggardly, still dragging her up and down his cock.

she kept a hand on his shoulder as she placed the other over his on her hip. she tried to move her hips with him but her thighs kept trembling.

she pressed her forehead against his, a low whine coming from her as he picked up the pace.

“y-your so fucking big, you know that?” she whined, biting her lower lip to keep her moans together. his cockhead was bumping into her most sensitive spots and she was trying not to think about the rest of his cock fitting inside of her.

“you got me like this.” he grumbled, “s’your fault.”

suddenly he forced her hips lower and she shrieked, “choso-!”

his lips were on her—kissing her hard, as his cock pumped fast and deep inside her. he kept her hips still as he fucked her. using all the strength his legs to let out his frustration. he would’ve nutted in her the second he got inside if he hadn’t masterbated before the dinner.

and yet, he was already close.

she broke the kiss, clutching his shoulders as she moaned and whined prettily. her long fingernails digging into his skin, sparking little bouts of pain that only made him thrust faster.

“c-chose! p-please-nnnngh! t’much—ugghh!”

he couldn’t think. it was like something else had taken over inside him. all he wanted was her, her.

the tip of his cock twitched inside her.

her nails dug into the back of his head, “choso, unnghh-y-you have to pull out—hnnngh, fuck! so good-“

he pounded into her the fastest his hips could let him. his cock was drenched in her juices, her body felt so fucking hot—so perfectly wet. her pussy was coiling around him like it wanted him to cum.

so he did, he couldn’t think. merely spewing thick loads of cum straight into her warmth.

she gaped, her eyes fluttering closed as she felt all of it. so much cum fill up her narrow insides. she felt it leak down her inner thighs and shivered. shivered hard enough that he held her shoulders.

“kaori,” he panted. his face was flushed, strands hair dark hair pasted to his forehead. “kaori.”

he pressed his forehead into hers, “m’sorry,” he lightly moved her hair out of her face as she fell into him.

“i can't—couldn’t stop,” he panted before groaning slightly as he shifted his hips, his cock still inside her. her insides were coiling and un-coiling around him. “you feel.. too good.”

suddenly she was upright, kissing him desperately, like her life depended on it. she hugged him tight, slipping her arms around him as he gripped her hair, keeping her lips on his as his cock drilled into her once more.

she was naked now, her hands flat against the table as his cock bullied into her.

she pressed her head down on the table, “f-fuck!”

his cock slammed in and out of her at lightspeed. she was sure he’d made all of himself fit inside her at this point. especially since she felt his balls slap her cunt with each rough fuck. he truly did fuck like he was pent up for a while.

she wasn’t sure if she could take it.

he groaned as she tightened around him. her juices squirting all over the place as he continued to bully her pussy.

she moaned so fucking loudly, she would’ve been embarrassed if she was watching herself.

he gripped her hips hard enough to hurt, she was sure there was going to be bruises later. his forehead pressed into the crown of her head, one his large hands cupping hers over the table.

“this is what you wanted right? hmm?”

he gritted out, his cock slamming into her at a punishing pace.

“y-yes! nnnnh-ohmy ohmy godnnchoso! choso!”

she came again, cumming so hard her legs shook and she no longer could lay still if he hadn’t been gripping her hips.

his voice was ragged, “good girl.”

she was spread open, on full display for him on his bed. she stared up at him and his muscular body as his cock moved inside of her. the insides of her thighs sticky with his cum.

“choso,” she moaned, weakly shaking her arms which were held down by his own. his fingers interlaced with hers.

“m’close, baby, i’m close.” he murmured into her cheek.

her back arched as she felt it. she felt his cockhead twitch inside of her and she knew she was gonna get addicted. addicted to feeling so full of his hot sticky cum, addicted to feeling so stretched by his thick curved cock.

“nnnnggggggh,” she whined. she was gonna loose it.

the bed shook his cock pounded into her. he knew the neighbors were gonna give him shit for the noisy headboard later but fuck, the way her tits swung with each rough fuck. god, he never thought he would get to see them.

nor did he think he would get to mark up the pretty skin of her neck. or kiss her so hard that lips would swell. she looked like a goddess, just waiting to get undone.

her tear stained eyes stared up at him, “kiss me, choso.” she begged. the simple order making his chest bloom with wanton.

he kissed her, with a bruising intensity. so forceful that he couldn’t hear how loud the noises of them fucking were. only focused on the feeling of her. of how her pussy suctioned his cock like it was made for him, like it craved him.

he groaned, pressing her body deep into the sheets as he ground his cock into her. spewing load after load in her perfect little cunt.

she awoke to his face in her neck and his firm arms wrapped around her chest. he was clutching her like she would escape.

she shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable only for him to squeeze one of her tits.

“stop moving.” he grumbled sleepily.

she froze before everything from last night flipped through her memory and she smiled girlishly.

she glanced over at him, at the head of dark hair buried in her neck and the broad back that followed it. she didn’t miss all the nail marks embedded in his skin.

now that he was finally shirtless she could see that his arms were truly a work of art. each muscle protruding against his pale skin and his veins—something about the way they traveled down his forearms made her swoon.

she bit her lower lip, “can i use the bathroom, mr. kamo?”

she felt him shift on the bed, groaning grumpily before mumbling, “you can’t shadow me after this.”

“that’s fine, we only had a week left anyway.”

he seemed to freeze at that, before raising his head from her shoulder, “you seem.. too okay with that.”

she turned over, resisting the urge to smile the second she saw his face. he was just so handsome— his dark hair was barely messy, merely framing his neck and face in a way that made him look like a hot biker. and the hickeys on his neck—myyy, she’d forgotten she’d done those.

she bit her lower lip to hide her grin once again, “well i got what i wanted out of it.”

he raised his brows, “what?”

she resisted the urge to laugh, “wellll there’s kind of a lot i should probably tell you.”

he leaned back more, as if wanting to clearly see her face as she said this. the crease in his brow deepened, “like?”

“you can’t get mad at me.”

“oh great." he shook his head as he joked sardonically, "as long as you don’t tell me you’re a minor i’m fine.”

“well..”

his face dropped.

“joking!” she giggled, “i’m joking. i’m actually nineteen.”

“what?!” he exclaimed, “i saw your ID. your twenty three.”

“that’s actually my fake ID.”

he ran a hand through his hair as he sat up straight, “christ, your closer to my little brothers age than mine.”

she followed him up, only to wince when her body suddenly ached all over. she decided to stay laying down, merely reaching her arm out to rest atop his leg.

“listen, i’m sorry. i should’ve told you but i just didn’t know how to bring it up-“

“that means you were drinking underage last night.” he was frowning.

she clutched his hand, “yes, i was. but who doesn’t?”

his frown turned into a glare.

she squeezed his hand, “choso, please! just hear me out. i know i shouldn’t have lied but i really like you.. i liked you the second i saw you and i wanted to get close to you but i didn’t know how.”

“you liked me the second you saw me?” he repeated doubtfully. “why didn’t you just tell me?”

“if i asked for your number the first day we met, would you have given it to me?” she asked while playing with his fingers.

he opened his mouth, eager to say 'yes' until it dawned on him. "..no."

"exactly. conflict of interest, right?"

his brows furrowed as he contemplated the situation. he chuckled dryly, "so that's why you asked to shadow me, hm? get some teachers-ed experience and talk to some eye-candy." he shook his head, "two birds, one stone."

“welllll,” she felt her face heat up, “i’m actually just a math major.”

“…and an education major. you double majored in both.”

“nope,” she pursed her lips, “just a math major.”

“WHAT?!”

[fairykazu]

NOT-SUPER-SECRET-CRUSH: tutor scaramouche in session! FT. SCARAMOUCHE contents // friends to lovers, requited love, hs au, modern au notes // if i write about my own math lesson here, would i remember it easier? masterlist // part one // part two

[sat. 8:30]

oh, god, what time is it? you squinted as the sun shined brightly on your face. grabbing your phone, [saturday | 8:31]. oh no. sure, you're one minute late but scaramouche hates people who are late. what if he flakes from being your tutor. oh, it's SO over.

scaramochi: where are you? scaramochi: do you even want to take this seriously?

you quickly replied back,

bobaluvname: i just woke up bobaluvname: my parents aren't home, im sorry. i don't have a ride (T_T) scaramochi: are you fr? bobaluvname: yeah... im sorry :(( scaramochi: ok

archons, sure, he's usually dry on text but not this dry! as you panicked, undressing from your pjs and quickly changed into am outfit.

ding!

what the hell? who's ringing the doorbell right now. you walked to the door slowly, you were still trying to stick your arms through the armholes. peeking through the peep hole, it was a familiar purple haired boy. wait.

WAIT.

what is scaramouche doing outside your door???

the indigo haired male sat at the furthest corner of the library, isolated from everyone else. scaramouche was worried about you but not like he would tell you anyway. the only way would be someone had to waterboard this information from him. but again, you're usually an early riser that's what he likes... tolerates you for. why are you late?

he turned behind him where the analog clock was mounted on the wall, the little hand on the eight and the longest hand pointing down. maybe something happened on the way? or you're stuck at home.

he texted you a message. [where are you?] ...no, that gives away that he's concerned. then, he added: [do you even want to take this seriously?]

perfect... doesn't he want you to know he likes you? no, this is serious work and an equal exchange of education and knowledge. it would be a plus though. he argued with himself a little more until he heard his phone buzzed.

[ two notifcations from idiot]

he swiped the notifcations open, seeing that you were in the chatroom.

idiot: i just woke up. idiot: my parents aren't home, im sorry. i don't have a ride to the library

he was right. you did have a dilemma, but he had to make sure. sending a reply back as he packed up his items back into his bag.

idiot: yeah... im sorry :((

well, it's well over five minutes of the initial meeting. he could treat you like everyone else and be an asshole to end the session immediately.

but you weren't like everyone else to him. you're someone he tolerates. as he was walking out of the library, he noticed you were still in the chatroom.

idiot is typing...

he stared at you typing and deciding not to type again. he waited for your text bubble to come back again. five minutes pass. your bubble doesn't come back. well, it would be better if he might as well go to her house, right? he doesn't decide to be rational about this and maybe this might seem romantic to you.

maybe...

that's how scaramouche ended up being in front of your door. he knocked softly before ringing the doorbell, "hello?"

he heard your gasp. "you're not subtle, you know. are you going to open the door?"

"ummm, yes! hold on." it seemed like you were struggling to open the door. maybe, the morax family hid a key under the rug or a gnome. he looked around the porch, noticing that he was stepping over a bump in the rug.

is it creepy to open your friend that you weren't very close with's door with the key the family didn't cleverly hid? 

yes.

he didn't open the door. instead, he waited for you to open the door yourself.

oh my god, you didn't expect him to just arrive on your doorstep with ease. from rumors you've heard, he wouldve ended the sessions without a second thought. you slipped into your shirt and patted the nonexistent dust off of your pants. you looked at the mirror mounted near the door. your hair is a mess...

you brushed your hair quickly, taking the spare hair ties that your dad leaves at the front. disheveled hair into a "sleek" ponytail. not really, sleek, you shouldn't lie to yourself.

you kept him outside for too long though. "come in!" the door creaked open, revealing scaramouche with his bag and two cups of very cold drinks in the other. "your shirt is on backwards and inside out."

"it is?" you looked down at your shirt, the tag was sticking out.

it's so over.

any remaining self-worth was drifted away in the wind and out the door. you closed your eyes and smiled, "okay, thanks, come in through."

he took off his shoes and placed them in the shoe rack. "i got us drinks but it's a bit cold now." your face fell and he smiled, enjoying teasing you. but from your point of view, he seemed a devil. a very smart devil though!

"although, you did waste my time," why is his words so harsh for wanting to say something nice? "but it's fine. it's whatever miss yae wanted to give to my mother. what now?"

"well, we can go in my room! c'mon, just wait for a minute because, well, y'know." you gestured to your inside out and backwards shirt.

"got it." as he watched you go upstairs. going to her room?? he's a little freaked out but he has to play it cool. "scaramouche, go up!"

"don't boss me around." despite his words, he walked up the stairs. you shouted back, with your shirt on correctly.

"i have the power though! think of your english grade." you explained, smirking. he snorted at your attempt of "winning".

"how about you think about your math and science grade?" he retorted back as he heard you sigh, he laughed to himself, reveling in the fact that he won this pretend competition.

well, you won in a way but definitely not this one because he would never tell you.

it's awkward... or at least to scaramouche. you had asked if he wanted to be the tutor or the tutee and he opted to the tutee. but he couldn't even pay attention to the words you were saying, as it was in of one ear and out of the other. it's strange to be in the bedroom of the girl he has crushed on for years.

you were on the other side of the desk, guiding him on a topic he was awful at. as much as he wanted to pay attention to what you were saying, he couldn't but help to look at you or your lips and how soft they'd feel against his.

ahem. he squeezed his eyes shut. maybe he should've offered to be the tutor.

your hand briefly touched his shoulder, he flinched, "scaramouche? are you okay? do you need a break?"

one touch from you made him freeze, it's so over for his reputation. he mumbled out a word which you took as a yes. "i'll get you a drink and snacks, okay? maybe you're not in the right mood for english, it's okay. you can tutor me for my lessons, instead."

scaramouche pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded stiffly. thank god, she didn't notice.

scaramouche is defintely acting off today. usually he's super grouchy, is it opposite day? do you start being like mr. grinch? why was scara acting so weird?? you thought as you walked down the stairs. turning into the kitchen to see...

oh god, it's baba.

your dad sat near the counter, waiting for his tea leaves to seep into the hot water. what would your dad think with scaramouche being in your room? would he freak out?? does he even know scara??? "hello, name, do you need anything? did the tutoring go well?" he asked. the steam swirled out of the cup as you tried to answer quick but not too quickly.

"hi, baba! i need some water. do you know where the bottles are?"

he adjusted his glasses, "below the counter. did your tutoring go well?"

"it's not exactly over. the tutor- remember scaramouche?-" you tried to express scaramouche with hand movements. a guy around your age on the shorter side.

he sipped his tea, "ahh, ei's child?"

"mhm! he's upstairs right now."

he choked on his tea, "what." you grabbed some napkins dabbing your dad's clothes with the cloth. "i didn't have a ride to the library," as your dad tried to regain his composure, slipping away from the counter, you grabbed the water bottles and a few snacks from the cabinets. your arms were full as you walked upstairs, "don't worry, baba! i will crack the door open."

"it better be wide open, young lady! you should've informed me about this!!"

"i'm sorry, baba!" your door closed completely behind you as you apologized, "oopsy, baba, i forgot!"

the door creaked open.

"hi, scara, my dad's home. but i have snacks."

"mr. morax is here... ?" scaramouche repeated, sounding a bit afraid. is your dad scary? maybe. did your friends say meeting your dad was like approaching a dragon? yes. is scaramouche feeling a little light headed? no (lying).

"yes, don't worry, he's all bark, no bite! anyway, tutor me, scara." you smiled brightly as he opted to be grouchy again. no way, he would falter this time.

you sat down next to him as scaramouche asked, "okay, so what chapter are you on?"

you tapped your chin, trying to remember, "chapter five, exponential and logarithmic functions."

"oh, i liked that chapter."

you frowned. scaramouche chuckled quietly, it's as if that frown would be engraved into your face. he stopped laughing, but a smile on your face would be better. he cleared his throat, "once you get a hang of it, it would be easier."

"are you sure?"

"would i be passing math right now if i wasn't?" scaramouche said, boasting a little.

"ok, don't flex on me too much now." you cried.

"for this problem you have to remember that logb y, which is the argument, equals x only if the equation is bx equals y. this is a rule you have to remember throughout the lesson."

"what?"

"you'll get the hang of it." he said it with confidence. after realizing, he sounded too nice, he added, harshly, "if you did, you wouldn't have needed me in the first place."

you pushed him playfully, "okay, scaramouche, don't let that get in your head, remember? you're the one with a terrible score in english."

"..."

as time passed, the lessons were easier to understand for the both of you, well, mostly scaramouche. but he wouldn't tell you that. he did. he likes to boast, remember?

[one notification from baba +1]

baba: i forgot i have more work to intend to baba: next time, please tell me if you will have a friend over. name: very sorry, baba! i will tell you next time. have fun at work, tell hu tao to stop overworking you :(( baba: 😂😂 baba: do not worry, name, hu tao doesn't overwork me. name: okay! have fun at work, love you baba: love you too.

after the session was over, scaramouche winced at himself, thinking back what he said three hours ago. although it was true, your shirt was on backwards and even inside out, he wanted to say, "morning, let's continue."

but continue what?? you guys didn't start tutoring beforehand. he's so stupid. attempting to save himself from the silence filling the room, he offered,

"do you want boba?" he said, quickly as he watched your eyes gleam with joy.

you laughed it off before you noticed he was serious. "wait, seriously?"

"yes, it's my treat." he replied, looking at you. has he ever looked this sparkly before? wait, this isn't a shoujo anime and obviously, he means it as friends. "sure! like right now or later?"

"do you want boba right now or later?" wow, answering a question with a question, so smart, scaramouche. the answer was obvious by just looking at you. "im fine with later though."

"no, no! right now is fine! just let me text my dad first."

"of course." scaramouche said.

name: baba, can i go out with scaramouche for boba? baba: yes but bring another friend too. name: i'll go to the boba place that ganyu works at! baba: good idea. have fun, name. who will be paying? do you need money? name: he will baba: 👍👍

"he said yeah but can we go to the one ganyu works at?" you asked as scaramouche nodded his head,

"since i'd pay, you can choose."

"hooray!!!" you cheered as you looked at him expectantly. he furrowed his brows as you gestured him to cheer too.

"hooray."

well, it was good enough.

tutor scara's tutees [open] : @saccharine-sucks @ainnofinway

[daisynik7]

Rush

Chapter 9: Could've Been

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

cw: cunnilingus (face riding), vaginal sex (cowgirl), underaged drinking, angst

Summary: On the night of Alpha Tau’s fall formal, you finally do something that should have been done a long time ago.

Notes: Song is “Could’ve Been” by H.E.R. (ft. Bryson Tiller)

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In the days preceding Alpha Tau’s fall formal, Eren doesn’t hear a peep from her. The night he broke the news about taking Pieck as his date, she hung up on him without waiting for a goodbye. He should have predicted this type of reaction. Given how clingy she’s been in the past, he was hoping for a truce in the form of sex after a few days of letting it simmer. That’s how he lands back in her good graces time and time again. 

Even with this radio silence, it doesn’t faze him much. He’s confident that he’s still got the upper hand. Once the weekend is over and she realizes nothing will happen between him and Pieck, the anger will subside; she’ll come crawling back. Eager and needy for him like always. Does he feel guilty for pissing her off? Sure, maybe just a bit. It is what it is.

Saturday afternoon, Eren and Armin head to Alpha Tau to board the first bus. Dressed in sweats and bags in hand, the two roommates part ways outside the house. Armin goes towards Annie, Hitch, and Connie. Eren is dragged to where Reiner, Sandra, and Bertolt wait. Pieck and the other Delta Mu sister, who Eren recognizes is Mikasa’s friend Louise, arrive five minutes later. 

“Hi Eren,” Pieck says, a polite smile spread across her face.

“Hey. Thanks for coming with me.”

Louise stands next to Bertolt while Reiner hands out flasks to each of them, filled with what smells like vodka. He whispers, “Don’t worry, we have more bottles in our bags. We can refill at the hotel later.”

Sandra breaks away from their group to hug Hitch. Eren turns around to observe them, immediately making eye contact with Annie, who glares. He makes a mental note to steer clear of her the rest of the evening. 

He scans the rest of the crowd to look for Mikasa and Jean. He doesn’t spot them, assuming they’ll be on the next bus scheduled to leave in half an hour. Mike is also noticeably missing. 

Once boarded, Eren and Pieck sit beside each other in a comfortable silence for the first ten minutes of the ride. Attempting to initiate small talk, he reiterates, “Thank you again for coming with me to this.”

She giggles. “I’ll admit, I was a bit surprised to hear that you wanted to take me.”

“Why?” He sips from his flask, curious.

“I thought you’d take your girlfriend instead. You know, the one we played beer pong with at Halloween?” She says her name, causing Eren to sputter on his drink. 

Whipping his head around to ensure no one else can hear them, he whispers, “What did you say?”

There’s a sly grin on her face as she responds, “It was very obvious. You couldn’t stop staring at her.”

“Well, she’s not my girlfriend. I barely know her,” he explains, hastily.  

She raises a brow, studying him. “Who is she to you, then? It seems like there’s something going on between you two.” 

“She’s no one,” he lies. A twinge of guilt spasms in his chest.

Shrugging, she relents. “Sorry for assuming. I guess I’m wrong.” She wears her pleasant smile again, unconcerned that she rocked his cool disposition. “Forget I said anything.”

He wasn’t expecting her name to be brought up at all tonight. It seems like everywhere he goes, she lingers, whether in his own mind or in that of others. It hasn’t been fifteen minutes into this bus ride, and he’s already flustered. He drinks more alcohol to suppress his feelings until she’s buried all the way in the back of his thoughts.

At the hotel, each brother checks into their room. Reiner, Bertolt, and Eren opt for single beds. Before they head up the elevator to their assigned floor, Armin passes by and mentions, “If you guys want to pre-game with us, we’re all rooming together in Room 310!”

Reiner scoffs. “No thanks. We’re going to have our own pre-game in my room.”

Sandra smacks him on the arm. “I want to hang out with Hitch. Let’s just pre-game in their room. It’s bigger and there will be more people. It’ll be way more fun.”

Reiner grumbles, “Fine. We’ll see you there. We’ll bring some of our alcohol.”

“Great! We brought some too. See you all in a bit!”

Up on the third floor, Eren and Pieck enter Room 324 in silence, both unsure what to talk about. He especially feels awkward after their conversation earlier on the bus. Pieck occupies the bathroom to change while he gets ready in one corner of the room. He decides on an all-black outfit comprised of a turtleneck sweater underneath his suit jacket, black slacks, and black oxfords. Pieck exits the bathroom, wearing a maroon floral dress that flows down to her ankles.

“You look great,” he compliments, as she puts on her shoes. 

“Thank you!” she beams. “You too. You kinda look like a spy.”

He takes it as a compliment, focusing on his reflection in the mirror to style his hair in the classic man-bun. It’s only now that he recalls how Mike was the first to tie his hair up like this, way back at the beginning of the semester. You owe me if this gets you laid tonight, he remembers him saying. In a way, he does owe that idiot. He figures they’re even now, considering what happened on Halloween. 

Thinking about him with her bothers Eren once again. But he takes solace knowing they won’t be together here. Rumor has it that the senior goes to formals alone on account of him notoriously getting too drunk to pay attention to his date. Certain this is still true, he isn’t concerned about running into her today. The evening will pass by smoothly. All according to plan. 

He waits for Pieck to finish her makeup before heading down the hall to Room 310. Armin and Connie greet them, patting him on the back happily; Pieck goes over to the girls to introduce herself. Eren does his best to avoid the women, especially Annie, who continues to stare daggers at him every chance she gets. 

The rest join soon after, the girls sticking together, the boys huddled in their own circle. Bertolt sneaks glances at Annie, who completely ignores him. Reiner miraculously does not make any offensive comments, a true rarity for him. 

For the next hour, they drink while chatting, the girls casually dancing along to the music blasting through Connie’s speakers. Once it gets closer to 7:00 PM, they all pour whatever remaining liquor they have into their flasks to sneak downstairs. Eren is filling his with vodka when Annie intentionally bumps into him. 

“Annie,” he nods. 

“Jaeger,” she mutters, eyeing him with contempt. 

He doesn’t say anything, not interested in conversing with her, predicting it will lead to the mention of a certain someone. She doesn’t give him a choice, though, as she begins speaking. “Pieck is nice. I hope you don’t lead her on, too.”

In a low voice, he responds, “I’m not interested in Pieck like that. I just had to bring someone.”

She scoffs, barely keeping herself quiet. Luckily, the music is loud enough to drown out their conversation. “I take back what I said to you last week. I don’t respect you at all. At least Reiner knows he’s an asshole and owns it. You on the other hand, you’re a lost cause. I still have no idea why she would associate with someone like you.”

“Can you just drop it already, Annie?” he hisses. “Can’t I have one night without her being thrown in my face like this?”

She blinks, a tiny smirk forming on her lips. “You have no idea, do you?”

“No idea about what?”

“Oh, nothing. You’ll see soon enough.” She steps away to join her friends again, leaving Eren to speculate on her ominous parting. It’s just Annie trying to get under his skin, which she always successfully does. Frustrated, he takes the whole vodka bottle and throws it back, swallowing a few shots worth until his throat burns.

Downstairs, the doors to the ballroom are open. Levi stands at the entrance greeting everyone as they enter. “Oi, pledges. Welcome to your first formal. Seating chart is over there.” He points to an easel with a large sign propped on it. “Have fun.”

Eren scans the poster for his name, seeing it listed under Table 3. He’s tipsy enough not to care who else is sitting with them. At the table, Marco is already seated next to his friend, a girl from the women’s soccer team. Petra from Sigma Nu Kappa sits next to an empty chair with a jacket slung over the back, presumably Levi’s. There are two remaining spots currently unoccupied.

They take their seats, Pieck chatting up the rest of the table as Eren examines his surroundings, trying to locate his friends. Armin and Connie are at a table with Erwin and his guest, Hange. Reiner and Bertolt sit three tables away with another brother and his date, SNK senior Nanabe. He has no idea where Mikasa and Jean are, neither of them making their appearance yet. The second bus should have already arrived, so he expects they’ll be making their grand entrance soon. 

The venue continues to fill up, people situated in their seats, snacking on the appetizers. Most of the seniors are in line at the bar to purchase drinks, besides Levi, who is sober monitor. 

Eren takes swigs from his flask, letting the vodka continue to take its effects on his mind and body. He feels good. Relaxed. Tonight, there will be no drama, exactly the way he planned it. If he keeps consuming liquor, she’ll remain in the furthest corner of his mind. 

Still, the tiniest part of him misses her. But that’s what the alcohol is for. Forgetting. 

He sits facing away from the doorway, so when Petra’s face lights up and Levi smirks, saying, “Ah, finally,” Eren has to physically turn around to see who it is they are talking to.

As soon as he recognizes them, the heat from the liquor seems to rush straight out of his body, leaving him frozen in place.

~~~

The week leading up to Alpha Tau’s formal, you start scheming. The infuriating phone call with Eren was just the fuel you needed to get you fired up.

Every decent quality about him, from his undeniable sex appeal to the occasional loving gestures, has been forced into the most secluded crevices of your mind. Instead, you let all the crummy details about him surface. 

He took advantage of your naivety, knowing you were inexperienced and desperate for any form of affection. After he lured you in, he manipulated you into thinking you were special, that your many moonlight trysts with one another had to be kept a secret. As if it was so fucking romantic to keep you hidden away like his most prized possession when he was really trying to find more treasure elsewhere. 

Worst of all, he won’t let you go. He has to have you. String you along until it’s the right time for him to toss you aside once he grows tired of you. Until you become an overused and rejected toy withering away into the worst version of yourself, all while he replaces you with someone shinier and new. 

The only way to avoid that is to end it with him first. Officially and for good. 

No more empty promises, no more subtle blows to your confidence and self-worth. No more heartbreak. You won’t allow him to desecrate your fragile heart any longer. 

The easy route would be to have a private discussion about it. Maybe after the event, so you don’t ruin his fun weekend plans. But you don’t want it to be easy. You want it to be satisfying. Meaningful. You want it to hurt; not enough to mangle him, but just enough to leave a scar. If he ever becomes a better person later in life, he’ll always remember what he did to you, hopefully determined not to repeat the same mistakes. 

Your plan is set in motion. The first step is to get yourself at Alpha Tau’s formal. On Wednesday, Armin invites you and Mikasa over to the fraternity house to eat dinner. You sit with Mike at one of the tables. Mikasa, who wants you at formal for her own selfish reasons, and Armin sit beside you. You plan to bombard the senior to bring you. It’s a known fact that Mike goes stag to these dances, the reason being that he always gets too drunk to pay enough attention to whoever he’s taking. 

It doesn’t take much to convince him, though. You proposition him, explaining how much fun the two of you will have together, how you won’t mind if he gets blackout drunk. Even offering to take care of him if in the morning in case he has a hangover. 

“Okay. I’ll make an exception for you. By the way, breakfast burritos are my go-to hangover cure.”

You smile at him. “Noted.” 

“Do you think they’ll still let her go even though it’s past the deadline?” Armin asks.

“Erwin and Levi are my best friends. They’ll let me do anything, don’t worry. You will be my date this Saturday,” he emphasizes, winking. 

With step one complete, the next move is to make a grand entrance. 

Thursday afternoon, Mikasa, Annie, and Hitch accompany you to the mall to pick out your outfit. Your roommate suggests a red dress, similar to one that she’s planning to wear. Annie and Hitch, fully aware of your Eren situation, recommend a black, off-the-shoulder bodycon, coming down just past your knees. Complete with a side slit the runs up mid-thigh. A revenge dress. 

Out of the fitting room, Mikasa let’s out a low whistle. “Okay, forget I even suggested red because this is everything.”

“You look hot!” Hitch exclaims.

“It’s perfect,” Annie says. 

In it, you feel confident, beautiful, and most of all, powerful. You’re ready to pull the rug out from under him in one fell swoop.

Saturday arrives. At the hotel, you and Mike check into your single room. By the time you’re finished in the bathroom, you hear a soft knock on the door. Upon opening it, Mike, handsome and suave in his navy-blue suit, looks you up and down. “You look fucking amazing.”

You smile at him. “Thank you. So do you.” 

The two of you share this unspoken agreement to remain friends, maybe with a couple benefits here and there. However, your main focus tonight is to deal with Eren. 

“We better head to Erwin’s room now before I get any ideas.” Giving you one more look, he turns around to collect his bottle of Hennessy, waiting for you to slip into your heels. 

Down the hall, Erwin, Hange, Petra, and Levi share a room, where they host the pre-game. Mikasa and Jean eventually join, as well as some other seniors. The president and vice president leave first to set up downstairs, dragging their dates along with them. One by one, more people leave until it’s just you, Mike, Mikasa, and Jean. 

As it gets closer to dinnertime, you wobble towards the ballroom, tipsy and giggly from the cognac. Mike tries to hold you steady, but he’s no better off. You take a quick look at the seating chart, noting your assignment. Mikasa follows Jean to the other side of the room as you and Mike make your way to Table 3, finding it already mostly occupied. Petra and Levi, who you just saw, greet you with amused expressions on their faces.

It takes you a minute to register that Eren is seated at the same table, staring at you with wide eyes and a clenched jaw. This is not a part of your plan.

Regardless, this is going to be fun.

Avoiding his gaze, you and Mike occupy the empty seats between Pieck and Levi. You acknowledge your neighbor with a smile, who returns it. 

“I love your dress. You look so pretty!” you compliment her.

“Thank you. You look pretty, too.”

You continue to chat with Pieck, completely ignoring Eren, who is visibly uncomfortable beside her. 

You’re not exactly sure what the next step in your plan is yet. Once you made it to the dance, you figure you’d toy with him, flaunt your sexy black dress in his face until he’s drooling. And if you have the chance to catch him alone tonight, then you’d confront him, ending your relationship once and for all. But there’s no way to predict if that opportunity will ever come, considering how unlikely it is to get a moment alone together. Deciding to go with the flow, you try to relax, relishing the way Eren sneaks subtle glances at you. 

Dinner starts. Mike is already on his third drink from the bar, speech slurred, tie loosened. Definitely drunk. Levi attempts to slow him down by switching his cocktail with a glass of water, which works until Mike finally notices the difference. By the time the entrees are out, he gets up once more for another rum and coke.

For the first time all night, you hear Eren speak. “He’s fucking wasted.” There’s malice in his voice, clearly annoyed.

Levi shrugs. “He always does this at formals.”

Eren rolls his eyes. “It’s distracting.”

Petra chimes in. “Oh, he’s harmless.”

He stands up abruptly, rattling the table. “Whatever. I’m getting some punch.”

You wait a minute or two to make your move. “I’m going to get punch too. Anybody want anything?”

Pieck says, “I’d like some, please.”

“You got it. I’ll be right back.”

Eren is alone when you approach the refreshments table, opposite side of the room from where the bar is. He takes a sip from his punch before reaching into his pocket for a flask. He notices you as you pour two cups of punch for yourself and Pieck.

He looks around, making sure the coast is clear. “What are you doing here?” 

“Oh, so you’re actually speaking to me in public now?”

He ignores that, repeating, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m getting myself and your date punch, since you aren’t doing it yourself.”

Taking a deep breath, he mutters, “You know what I mean. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming here with Mike?”

“Why should I? You never told me that you were going to bring Pieck until after the fact. And as far as I know, we don’t have to tell each other anything. You’re not my boyfriend.”

He blinks at you, seemingly at a loss for words. You continue to glare at him, waiting for a response. 

After a couple of seconds, he murmurs, “This is different.”

“How?”

“I have no intentions of fucking Pieck. But Mike…I know he’s trying to fuck you.”

“Is that all I’m good for? Sex? Has it ever crossed your mind that Mike actually likes me?” Your composure is beginning to crack. 

“Come on, I see the way he looks at you. He’s a fucking skeeze,” he spits out.

“So what? At least he talks to me. Acknowledges my existence.”

He swallows hard, saying in a low voice, “That’s not fair.”

“Well, it’s the truth.”

You stare at one another, neither of you backing down. You’re tempted to tell him it’s over, that you want to end it with him. But it still doesn’t feel like the right time yet. Maybe you want it to hurt a little more.

As you turn around to walk back to the table, you hear him say, “You look beautiful, by the way. You are beautiful.”

Shit. You promised yourself you wouldn’t fall for his sweet talk. Every time he calls you that, your heart flutters. 

Without responding, you walk away from him and back to your seat, handing Pieck her punch. Mike is back in his chair, scarfing down his steak. A few minutes later, Eren sits down, clearing his throat nervously. Focused on the plate of food in front of you, his compliment replays in your head like lyrics to your favorite song. You grip your fork tightly, upset for wavering, trying to convince yourself that it doesn’t mean anything.

You eat your meal in peace, casually chatting with the others, except for Eren, who remains sullen and quiet. Dessert is served and there’s a couple of minutes for everyone to digest and socialize. Erwin makes a quick announcement, thanking all of the brothers for a great semester, despite last year’s scandal. He even gives a special shoutout to Sigma Nu Kappa for a successful partnership, helping them regain their well-received reputation. He signals to the DJ, who starts up the music again, formally opening up the dancefloor. 

“Let’s go,” Eren mumbles to Pieck. 

She has an excited expression on her face as she asks, “Are we going to dance?”

“No, we’re going to Reiner’s table. C’mon.”

Frowning, she follows him to where Reiner and Bertolt sit with their dates, looking bored and unenthused. 

Grinning at Mike, you yank his wrist, beckoning him to the dancefloor. He gives you a goofy smile and follows, joining your friends who already started dancing. More people surround you, creating a lively atmosphere as the music blares through the speakers. 

Mike dances behind you, sliding his hands around your waist to pull you in closer. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, the bold scent of liquor emanating from his warm breath. You feel the vibrations on your skin as he hums along to the song.

You place your hands over his, swinging your hips in rhythm to the music as he moves with you. You glance over to where Eren’s sits, sulking right alongside Reiner and Bertolt, their poor guests watching the rest of the crowd in envy. Once in a while, your eyes meet; you quickly look away to turn your attention back to Mike and the rest of your friends.

~~~

The last person Eren expects to see tonight is her. Yet, here she is, gorgeous and stunning, exactly like in his fantasies. She wears that dress as if it was tailored to her and only her. It’s perfection. 

Except for the fact that Mike is wrapped around her like a fucking snake. 

The universe has a funny way of messing with Eren. And rightfully so, considering what an asshole he’s been. Still, this form of punishment seems a little too cruel.

He watches from a distance as he slithers all over her, practically salivating on her, similar to a beast in the wild preparing for a feast. Eren’s skin crawls with rage and jealousy. 

“You’re not going to dance, are you?” he hears Sandra ask Reiner, who slouches lazily in his seat. 

“Nope.”

Rolling her eyes, she says, “Fine. I’m going to join Hitch and her friends then. You’re boring.”

“Whatever, have fun with those freaks,” he mumbles. 

Suddenly, Eren feels a tap on his shoulder, finding Pieck and Louise standing together with their purses in hand. “Louise and I are going back to campus. She’s not feeling well.”

He quickly turns around to look at Bertolt, who’s propped up on his elbow against the table, looking absolutely disinterested. 

Facing the girls again, he asks Pieck, “You have to go too?”

She nods. “Yeah, I don’t want her to go alone.”

“Are you coming back?”

“I don’t think so. Honestly, you’re not a fun person.”

Ouch. Her bluntness stings. Can he blame her, though? He’s not exactly a bundle of joy right now. 

“Anyways, our Uber is coming, so we’re just going to wait outside.” They walk towards the exit, leaving the three moody Alpha Tau brothers alone.

Eren leans back in his chair, defeated. He envisioned formal differently. In his imagination, he’s having fun with her as his date. He should be out there right now, not Mike. Dancing, smiling, and laughing around their friends. Happy and carefree together. Instead, he’s sitting in the corner, pretending to be too cool to have a good time.

It's his own fault. He refuses to admit it out loud, but he did let Reiner influence his decisions. Is he really that desperate to create a reputation for himself that won’t matter in a few years? Maybe even in a few months? At the rate he’s going, he’ll be known for being a dud anyways. It’s not like he was actively trying to be a fuck boy, considering he’s only ever wanted to be with her since they started. 

Besides, what’s so bad about dating a Sigma Nu Kappa? Reiner is the only one who seems to have an issue with it. On his big brother’s word alone, Eren has been convinced that dating an SNK girl is a disgrace. He didn’t even think to question it until now. There’s nothing wrong with them. Sure, Annie can be scary most of the time, but he recognizes how loyal she is to those she cares about. Mikasa has been his friend for years, and while she can be just as intense as he is, she loves her friends fiercely. 

And with her, he can’t think of any major flaws. To him, she’s beautiful, inside and out. 

He lays his head on the table, confused about his feelings, which are constantly in limbo. So much so that even he can’t keep up with himself. Again, he wonders why this is more difficult than it needs to be. Is he that afraid of falling in love?

From his peripheral, he notices her and Mike walk off the dancefloor. The senior heads straight to the bar while she exits the ballroom. Without thinking, Eren follows her from a distance. In the hotel lobby, he watches her make her way outside, probably to cool herself down after nearly an hour of dancing. 

He sinks into one of the couches, waiting for her to reappear. He wants a moment alone, just the two of them. Away from the crowd, uninterrupted by the music. Most of all, he wants to invite her to his room now that he has it all to himself. This is an opportunity he didn’t think he’d get at all today. He’ll regret it if he doesn’t take advantage of it. 

Once she’s back in the lobby, she heads down the hallway leading to the bathrooms. Giving him the opening he’s been wishing for all night.

~~~

After an hour of dancing, you feel yourself overheating from the constant movement and the heat radiating from the crowd. You and Mike decide to take a break. He leaves for the bar to take shots with Erwin and the other seniors. Sweat beading on your forehead, you make your way outside, in dire need for fresh air. Pieck and Louise are huddled, standing at the curb.

“Are you two leaving already?” you ask, waving your hand across your face like a fan, still burning up from all the dancing.

Pieck replies, “Yeah. Louise isn’t feeling well, so we’re going back.”

“Oh no! Are you alright? Do you need medicine or anything?”

Louise grins, answering, “Do you have a pill for someone dying of boredom? Because that’s what I need for Bertolt.”

Surprised and amused at her joke, you chuckle, “What do you mean?”

“He barely talks! Every time I try to start a conversation, he only gives me one-word answers. And he keeps ogling at Annie. That dude has it so bad for her, it’s sad.” 

“So you’re not really sick?”

“Of course not. I just needed an excuse to get us out of there.”

Laughing, you look over at Pieck. “How about you? Were you not having fun either?”

She shrugs, that same polite smile on her face. “Not really.”

“You should have joined us on the dancefloor!”

She laughs. “But how would I get out of spending the night in the same room as Eren? I figured it’s better to just bail completely.” She pauses, then says, “You know, he’s always staring at you.”

Surprised by her observation, you look at her, silently waiting for her to explain further. 

“It was just like at the Halloween party. Either he really hates you or he’s absolutely crazy about you. I’m guessing it’s the latter.”

You look down at the ground, flustered. “I don’t know about that.”

She leans in to nudge you gently in the arm. “It’s pretty obvious he’s got a thing for you. I even told him earlier today how I was surprised that he was taking me instead of you. His girlfriend.”

“I am not his girlfriend. I’m sure he told you that, too.”

“Yeah, he did. But he’s a dumb, immature boy. Of course he’s too proud to admit it.”

“I don’t think it’s pride that’s getting in his way. It’s his ego.” Fearing you revealed too much, you veer off. “Anyways, I’m sorry you two didn’t have a good time.”

“At least the food was good,” Louise comments. Her phone chimes. “Oh, our Uber is almost here. Tell Mikasa I say bye! I didn’t get a chance to tell her I’m leaving.”

“Will do. Have a safe ride home!” You bid them farewell then walk back into the lobby, the distinct thump of the bass resounding from the ballroom. Still feeling sticky with sweat, you head to the bathroom down an empty hallway to blot your face and touch up your makeup. 

As you exit, you notice Eren leaning against the wall, waiting for you. The two of you hold each other’s gaze for a few seconds before he suddenly takes you by the wrist and leads you farther into the hall, hidden behind a large plant. 

Back pressed to the wall, trapped by both his hands at either side of your head, you stare at him wide-eyed as he studies you with uneven breaths. You swallow hard, muttering his name.

One of his hands slide over your shoulder, fingertips tickling your skin gently until they’re at your wrist. He brings your hand up to his lips and scatters soft kisses in between your knuckles. 

“My date left, so I have the room all to myself. Room 324. Come by,” he whispers, kissing the inside of your wrist. “Please.” 

You feel your heart race and a familiar sensation fluttering below your belly as he continues to kiss you, green eyes peering at you longingly. 

“I’m with Mike,” you stutter, suddenly shy under his gaze.

“Well, if he’s too drunk to get it up, you know where to find me,” he teases, smiling into your skin. He drops your hand and cups your cheek, leaning in closer. “Can I kiss you?”

Every fiber of your being is screaming at you to refuse his advances. But one kiss wouldn’t hurt, right? You reach for the collar of his sweater and push your lips together. His tongue slips inside your mouth in an instant, eager for a taste.

You pull away from him. “Maybe I don’t want to see you later tonight.”

He flashes a cocky smirk. “Sure. Whatever you say.”

You’re tempted to kiss him once more. Instead, you push him off and walk away, heading back into the ballroom.

Mike is slouched onto Levi’s shoulder at your table. When Levi spots you, he yells out, “Oi, I think I’m going to bring him back to your room now. He’s pretty much passed out.”

You sit beside them, stroking Mike’s arm. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine. Just piss drunk. Feel free to hang out here for a little while longer.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll help you,” you offer. “Just in case.”

“Alright. Let’s go.”

The two of you sling Mike’s arms over your shoulders, carrying him as he drags his feet languidly. Once you’re back inside your room, you and Levi carefully place him on the bed, where he shifts around until he’s snuggled with a pillow, grunting occasionally. Levi snorts, “Idiot.”

He looks to you and says, “Thanks for helping me. Sorry he’s like this.”

“No worries. I’m not mad. I should have expected this.”

Levi leaves, heading back as you sit at the edge of the bed, watching Mike snore noisily. You fill a glass of water and set it on the dresser beside him in case he needs to hydrate. You poke him with your finger, which only causes him to mumble something incoherent. To be fair, you were warned about this.

You hear your phone vibrate in your purse. There’s one new message:

Eren: I’m in my room now

Staring at the text, you contemplate your next move. This is the opportunity you were hoping for. A moment alone with Eren, a chance to fulfill what you need to do. Despite all the anger and resentment you harbor for him, there’s still a part of you that desires to be with him one last time.   

Letting your feet lead you to Room 324, you decide to give in to one more moment of weakness.

~~~

Eren sits at the end of the bed, staring at the text message he just sent, eagerly waiting for a response. Tapping his foot nervously, he checks his phone every five seconds to make sure he isn’t missing anything.

Ten grueling minutes pass and a gentle knock on the door stirs his insides. He takes a deep breath and opens the door, thrilled to see her, still in her sensual black dress that’s been tantalizing him all fucking night.

He pulls her into the room, double locking the door when it shuts. Squishing her adorable cheeks between his palms, he leans forward and kisses her hungrily, tongue licking her lips and grazing her teeth. Desperate to taste every bit of her that he’s been deprived of all week long.

They lie on the bed, him on top of her, his hands roaming her body starting from her neck down to her legs. Flirting with the seductive slit exposing her thighs. The dress is skintight, hugging every inch of her figure flawlessly. His cock is already hard beneath his slacks, and they haven’t even undressed yet. 

“Take my clothes off,” she breathes out, rolling to her side to show him the zipper. He obeys, marveling at her bare back as he splits the dress open. He trails kisses along the skin he uncovers. She slides the dress off at her shoulders, where he gives her a nibble, resulting in that cute giggle he loves hearing so much. 

“Don’t giggle like that with anyone else. Only me,” he demands, kissing her sloppily as he shoves her dress lower to reveal her breasts. He hovers over her, sucking at one of her nipples until it’s plump and taut between his lips. 

“Fuck,” she moans, squirming beneath him as she wiggles out of her dress completely. In record time, Eren strips off all of his clothes, leaving just his briefs, barely concealing his erection. 

“I’ve missed you,” he whispers, mouth surrounding her other tit as his fingers drift to her arousal, rubbing at the wet spot of her black lace panties. “I’ve missed this pretty pussy, too.” 

He slips his middle finger pass the fabric, collecting the slick from her entrance to rub onto her clit. Upon contact, her hips buck, begging for more of his touch. With a chuckle, he releases her nipple from his mouth to suck on a spot on her neck, hard enough to leave a mark. He buries his nose in the divot of her collarbone, inhaling her intoxicating, familiar scent.

“Can I taste you?” he asks, dying to quench his thirst, willing to drown in her arousal. 

She nods, fingers hooking the hem of her underwear to remove them. He slides them off her, eyeing her naked body greedily.

“Sit on my face. I want it to drip into my mouth.” 

She curses under her breath, scooting over for him to lie down. He can’t help but smile as she straddles him, gripping the headboard and slowly lowering her hips so her pussy is flush against his lips. 

“Don’t hold back, baby. Ride my face like you ride my cock.” With his hands on her hips, he sucks on her clit until she’s whining in pleasure, slick trickling out of her slit and onto his chin. 

She rocks back and forth, obeying his instructions like the good girl she’s always been. 

“Come all over my face, baby. Get that pussy really wet for my cock.”

Moaning, she ruts against him faster, his lips surrounding her as he flicks her clit with his tongue rapidly. Cum coats his mouth and chin. She carefully lifts herself off, kneeling besides him, eyes glazed over from her orgasm. 

Sitting up to face her, he caresses her cheek, pulling her in for a passionate kiss. He takes his time, appreciating her supple lips and the subtle contrast of his rough thumb brushing over the delicate skin of her cheekbone. He reaches down his briefs, sliding them off and tossing them to the floor. He strokes his cock, craving to feel her lush walls squeeze tightly around him. 

~~~

Eren breaks away, slightly out of breath, whispering, “Can you ride me? I want to see your face.” 

The words slip out of his mouth, smooth like butter, enticing as ever. You nod, granting his request. Knowing this will be the last time. 

He lies back down, gazing at you. You straddle his lap, rubbing your wet folds against him before you position your entrance at the tip of his dick. Without using your hands, you slide onto him, feeling the vibrations from his gravely moans reverberate through his chest. 

You ride him slowly, thrusting your ass onto his hard cock. He squeezes your hips, directing you to move faster. You resist, determined to set your own pace. For once, you’re in control, not him.

“Fuck, you’re so good. You’re so fucking good to me,” he chants as you grind onto his lap. You start moaning along with him, succumbing to the pleasure, leaning onto his chest, and listening to his racing heartbeat. He keeps one hand at your waist; the other at the nape of your neck, pulling you in closer.  

“God, you’re beautiful. I’m so lucky. I’m so fucking lucky,” he whispers to you, lips grazing your ear. You tilt your head up to meet his gaze.

“Kiss me,” he says, staring at you with soft eyes, yearning for you. 

You lean in to brush your lips against his, making him think everything is fine. Sending him to Cloud 9 so that he can crash down onto the cold, hard dirt once you’re through with him.

After a few minutes of fucking, he mutters, “I’m sorry.” 

The apology catches you off guard. He’s pulling every weapon out of his arsenal, his velvety words attempting to latch on to you like a leech. 

“I’m sorry about tonight. I’ll make it up to you, okay? I promise.”

You don’t respond. With your eyes shut, you continue to ride him, letting your second orgasm build up. 

He caresses your cheek again, thumb brushing the soft skin right below your eye. “Baby, please look at me.”

His expression is sincere; there’s warmth in the way he looks at you, affection in the small smile he displays. 

“I’m yours, okay? I’m all yours.”

You’re close. It’s almost over. He’s tugging at your heartstrings like he never has before. But this time, it’s not enough. You’re not falling for it anymore.

“I promise you; everything is going to be okay,” he whispers, kissing your forehead, voice trembling. 

He makes promises just as easily as he breaks them. You’ve lost trust in him completely. His words mean nothing. They no longer have this everlasting hold on you.

Still silent except for the soft whines that escape from your lips, you ride him faster, wanting to milk him for all he’s worth. Take advantage of him the way he has with you. 

“Fuck,” he groans, planting his feet onto the bed and moving his hips in rhythm with your thrusts. “You’re going to make me come, sweetie. Is that what you want?”

You nod into his neck, his hands now holding you in place as he starts pounding into your pussy relentlessly. 

“Okay, baby. I’ll give it to you. I’m all yours. All yours,” he repeats, fucking you until you reach your orgasm, letting the pleasure sweep through you. 

Soon after, he groans a drawn out, “Fuck,” as you feel his hot load fill you up. 

He holds you in his arms, no rush to let you go. Nose pressed into the top of your head, inhaling and exhaling deeply. You savor the steady cadence of his heartbeat, the rise and fall of his chest, the warmth of his skin. Letting yourself imagine only for a short moment that this is what could’ve been if it was any different with you two. Nostalgic for a relationship that never really existed to begin with. One that was doomed from the start.

Maybe you’ll meet again in another lifetime. One where it’s genuine. Painless. Easy.  

Just not this one. 

His arms loosen as soon as you initiate movement. You remain silent as you pick your dress off the floor and carry it with you into the bathroom. The knob turned all the way to hot, you wait as the heat from the shower fills the space with a steamy cloud. Stepping in carefully, you let the water rinse any cum and sweat from your body, erasing all traces of Eren. 

When you’re finally cleansed, you dry yourself with a towel and slip into your black dress. Studying your reflection in the mirror, you take a few deep breaths, preparing for your final act. 

~~~

Eren cannot stop smiling.

He’s lying on the bed, palms behind his head, arms splayed out to the sides. Cock glistening with cum. Sheets messy, pillows disheveled all from their love making. He’s in fucking paradise. Whenever they have sex, he always feels on top of the world. Totally and utterly elated. Soaring on Cloud 9. 

The best part is that it’s not Mike who she’ll be spending the rest of the night with. It’s him. Eren is the winner. He gets the prize.

It doesn’t even bother him how he uprooted his buried feelings for her. He’ll blame it on the alcohol, which has since dissipated from his bloodstream nearly an hour ago. Or he’ll blame it on being caught up in their fuck fest. Either way, it seems she’s no longer mad at him. He’s got everything under control.

Several minutes pass before she comes out of the bathroom, wearing her black dress. He stretches his arms out, beckoning her back into bed. “Come here, baby. Let’s cuddle.”

She leans down to collect her heels and purse from the floor. “I’m leaving.”

He grins at her odd joke. “Baby, stop kidding around. Come here.”

“I’m leaving,” she repeats. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

The smile fades, his brain slowly processing the words coming out of her mouth. “What? What are you talking about?”

“Eren, I’m ending this. It’s over. You and me. We’re done.”

----------

End Notes: We’re almost near the end y’all! Thank you for sticking with it! Also, thanks so much for all the comments, messages, likes, and reblogs. I can’t express into words how grateful I am for every single interaction this fic gets. It gives me LIFE! So much love for ALL of you. 💕

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[shownusgfayoooo]

A Significant Night

Pairing: Slytherin!Seonghwa x Ravenclaw! f! reader ft. Ravenclaw! bestfriend! Hongjoong

Summary: Set the night Sirius Black attempts to break into Gryffindor Tower in Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, but Y/N, HongJoong, and SeongHwa are 7th years, the 99 line is in 6th, and Jongho is in 5th year

T/W: perceived danger

Words: ~5k almost

A/N: I LOVE SIRIUS MORE THAN ANYTHING ik he's not a murderer but this is the point in the canon where we don't know that yet so that's the info that the characters (ateez and you) in this fic have to go off of ok

my masterlist

~~

The rain was especially thunderous tonight. You tossed restlessly your bed for the fifth time and stuffed another pillow above your head. Still, sleep was evading you. The water hit the window of your dorm in Ravenclaw tower like shards of ice, and the lighting that briefly illuminated the room cracked against the back of your eyelids in bright white flashes.

You had barely managed to slip into some halfway place between consciousness and unconsciousness when raised voices could be heard from the common room, five flights below you. The sudden unexpectedness of people talking so loud at 1 in the morning set your heart racing, but you tried to ignore it. This became impossible however when the sounds of footsteps started echoing down the stairs and doors opening up and down the tower woke you up completely.

Your friend Hongjoong grumbled some gibberish and turned over one of the four empty beds in your dorm. You were lucky enough to only have two roommates this semester, making only three girls to the dorm that could house five, but one of them had snuck into the Hufflepuff dorms to stay with her boyfriend like she usually did and the other had gone home for the weekend due to some family emergency.

You didn’t mind him crashing because Hongjoong was the ideal roommate. He was usually in the library all night, and whenever he was actually in the room, he was mostly organized and quiet. It wasn’t allowed of course, so the rule breaking aspect of the whole situation did stress you out sometimes, but honestly, Hongjoong was smart enough to not be caught, and by extension, he was smart enough to not get you caught either. Hell, he had even managed to counteract the charm that made the stairs turn into a slide whenever a boy tried to climb them. It still made you laugh when you thought about the reason why he had been pushed to break a thousand-year-old enchantment like it was child’s play. Usually, he had his best friend Seonghwa from Slytherin give him a broom ride up to Gryffindor Tower to crash with San and Wooyoung Seonghwa and Jongho absolutely refused to put up with Hongjoong’s manic hours and general chaos, and Yeosang, Mingi, and Yunho in Hufflepuff always felt a little bit too far out of the way to your friend. But, Gryffindor had beat Slytherin in Quidditch two weeks ago, and ever since then, Seonghwa had refused to take Hongjoong up, lest he suffer more of San and Wooyoung’s bullying. You had the whole room to yourself most of the time, so you were quick to oblige your best friend. Catching a glimpse of Seonghwa on the few occasions he would bring Hongjoong up before he broke the charm that impeded his entry into the Tower was also the highlight of your life.

Hongjoong barely slept, but when he did, it was like the dead. You tossed him a worried glance as the voices outside got louder, before quickly rushing to the door and peeping your head out. You looked about in bewilderment as everyone from the girls’ tower seemed to be leaving their rooms.

“What’s going on?” Nobody seemed to have an answer, “I have no idea,” “Can’t be anything good this time of night,” “I hope we’re not in danger? Quick, let’s run through some defensive spells just to be on our toes-” You turned to the left to see the prefect was making her way back up the stairs against the throng of traffic moving down. “Everyone, please make their way to the common room! No running, please. Stay calm. I’m just making sure we didn’t miss anybody; please continue to the common room. Professor Flitwick will be here in a few minutes to explain what’s going on!”

Your heart started to pound again, as you rushed back into your room. Why would she tell everyone to stay calm unless there was a very real reason to panic? You threw Hongjoong’s discarded niffler plush at his head as you rushed to put on some shoes. He gasped, sitting up. “What was that for?” He was glaring at you, pushing hair out of her eyes.

“Get up; we have to go, right now.” His eyes fully opened at the restrained tension in your voice. He turned to the door to see the rest of your Housemates rushing past and quickly got up. “I assume the situation at hand is not us getting in trouble for breaking some antiquated patriarchal rules,” he smiled at you weakly, trying to ease the tension.

“No,” you responded wryly. “I really don’t think they’d evacuate all the Ravenclaw girls to give them a lecture about you and I breaking one teeny tiny rule. That everyone breaks anyways!” You had joined the throng going down the stairs as you finished your sentence, sounding almost hysterical. Hongjoong just linked his elbow through yours, as his eyes flashed with worry but also to keep a hold of you in the crowd. It wasn’t just the girls that had been rushed out of bed, you saw, as you ducked under the archway into the common room, only to see it full of boys. Everyone was lining up by year, and you saw Hongjoong nod to his roommates (Snore #1 and Snore #2 you called them in your head) who had been looking worried at not having been able to account for him. Just at that moment, the door to the Tower opened. A hush descended over the crowd.

“Ah, hello students, I apologize for the interruption this evening, or should I say morning?” Weak chuckles answered his question. Usually, you were all a very inquisitive bunch, but everyone could sense that something was significantly amiss, and that this was a time to listen, not ask. His squeaky voice and short stature should have logically done nothing to put your mind at ease a bit, but it did. The presence of an adult and a very talented wizard at that, a professor who was supposed to and did protect his students, calmed your heart down a little.

“Don’t be alarmed, but please be cautious and take what I am about to say seriously. We have reason to believe that Sirius Black entered the castle tonight. He attempted to break into Gryffindor Tower but was unsuccessful. Nobody was hurt, but he remains at large. We have Aurors and Professors alike investigating the Castle, floor by floor. We are also relocating all students to the Great Hall for the time being. Myself, and a few Aurors waiting outside, will escort you through there now. I implore you to remain calm and quiet. Please arrange yourselves with years below you at the center of the crowd and line, alright? You are safe with us, but wands out.”

You looked at Hongjoong, panic full blown on your face. You were both in Year 7, so it fell to you to take up the periphery of Ravenclaw House as you made your way to the Great Hall. He nodded at you in reassurance but kept his grip on your hand tight.

As everyone arranged themselves to make an exit from the Tower, you gave into your anxiety. “I’m really worried about the guys, Joong. What if something happened to them? What if they’re not okay?”

“Relax, Y/N. Flitwick just said that nobody was hurt. I’m sure they’re fine.”

“What if they didn’t evacuate everyone? What if they missed someone?”

“You saw the measures they’re taking. They wouldn’t have missed anyone. Don’t worry.”

You bit your lip. “What about the Slytherins? You know the undue prejudice they deal with. You know it. Just two years ago, they told them to go BACK to their House which is in the dungeons when there was a troll. A living, breathing troll! In. the. dungeons.”

Hongjoong’s features softened on his face, finally understanding where your unusual irrationality was stemming from when you were usually the calm and collected one out of the group. He squeezed your shoulder. “Seonghwa will be fine, Y/N.”

“What- why, I mean-” you spluttered. The panic was blurring your logic and your normal tendency to be secretive or aloof, especially about your feelings. How did Hongjoong know about you and Seonghwa? Or was the better question how much he knew about you and Seonghwa? You had both harbored feelings for each other for a long time but had only just confessed and become a couple. It was still so new, but the friendship wasn’t. And because you didn’t want to jeopardize your friendships with the group, you had been keeping it a secret until you both felt more comfortable to share and that you were on stable ground.

“You know he can take care of himself. He’s gonna be fine. I bet you Trelawney’s hat that he’s already in the Great Hall, practicing that little charm he invented to make his moss grow faster.”

Your breath came easier at the imagery. “You sure?”

“Positive.” He gave you another reassuring pat on the back as you both turned to face forward as Flitwick called for the Tower doors to be opened.

You took in a deep breath to prepare yourself to protect yourself, your friends, and the younger kids of your House as you stepped out into the castle. It was eerily quiet and immensely dark. The only sound that could be heard was the breathing of several dozens of students and the scuffling of shoes on stone. Even the portraits were quiet as you made your way through the castle. You held your body rigidly, looking for danger at every corner, in every sound.

When you finally reached the Great Hall, all the energy sagged out of your body, and you felt so drained that you couldn’t even carry the squashy purple sleeping bags Madame Pomfrey was handing out. Hongjoong grabbed both of yours and started to steer you further into the room. You didn’t even notice because you were counting everyone who was in the room. It made you feel safer, especially when you saw that there had to be at least three dozen Aurors guarding the students and room alone, along with most of the Professors, not to mention the rest of the upper years who also had if not a vast then adequate knowledge of magic.

“Noona!”

Your attention suddenly came back to your immediate surrounding as you were suddenly hugged. You gasped and lightly laughed at the head of red hair that was currently grabbing you.

“Hey, Wooyoung. You ok?” Your gaze landed past his shoulder you were patting to see the rest of your friends gathered, looking worried but otherwise unhurt. You barely had time to let your eyes scan over Seonghwa who was lingering at the back of the half circle you all had formed under the window. Because you couldn’t see him properly or disentangle yourself, you asked, “Everyone ok?” Yunho nodded at your question as Wooyoung not only refused to let go of you, but also dragged San and Yeosang into the hug, too. It was doing wonders for your nerves, so you couldn’t complain.

“Yeah, we’re all okay.”

“We were worried because your House took the longest to get down here. We were first obviously, but we were hoping it was just taking that long because your Tower is the farthest from here,” Mingi added.

“And not because something bad happened to you!” San wailed. His head was nestled firmly into the crook of your neck, despite being a whole head taller than you.

Hongjoong took his chance to swat him off of you. “Ya, what would happen to us? Between me and Y/N, we have at least half the library memorized and the whole curriculum down pat, especially Defense against the Dark Arts.”

Jongho clenched his fists in his hand menacingly, “Well, we could have come for you if you weren’t gonna show in the next ten minutes.”

Hongjoong cooed at him, “Really? Aw, my baby. You’re my favorite.”

Jongho started him dead in the face, “Just for noona. Not you. Have your duel with a mass murder. I think you’d do great, you know, with your Hogwarts level education. Maybe we should let the Aurors go home because Hongjoong Hyung read some books in the library!”

You laughed as everyone started bickering, feeling even more tension release from your chest at being together with everyone. As you did, you made eye contact with Seonghwa. His eyes were smoldering. He pushed off from where he was leaning against the wall behind Mingi and Yunho to come stand next to you. His eyes stayed on the squabble that was starting to brew between Hongjoong San and Jongho, as Wooyoung stirred the pot gleefully. His fingers brushed against yours. A pinky to yours.

“Are you alright?” His voice was a deep whisper, strife with the worry.

You looked down at your toes, pale blue nail polish peeking out from your bunny slippers. “Yes, are you?”

He turned to look at you. He looked at you, so earnestly it brought tears to your eyes. It stirred everything in your heart. It seemed as if he was asking questions with his eyes and trying to pick out the answers from yours. So many emotions flitted across his face that you could barely keep up. Worry, despair, fear, hurt, care, relief, affection, maybe even love. The loud sounds of the room lowered to a din as blood rushed to your head, roaring in your ears and flooding your cheeks. His hand raised, seeming to come up to almost brush against your cheek before he dropped it again as a Sonorous enhanced voice started echoing around the room. The chatter of hundreds of students immediately dropped to a hush.

Professor Dumbledore stood near the doors of the Great Hall which were now barred and warded. “Good evening to all! We find ourselves in a situation strife with high energies and excitement. Trust that you are in safe hands and that we will soon make the whole of the Castle just so, as well! I know the adrenaline must be pumping through your bodies right now at the hasty retreat and thought of a break in to the castle. You must also be wanting to check on the welfare of your friends. For that, we will allow another half hour of free time before its lights out and to bed with all of you! No need to segregate by House or gender, but please behave appropriately! The professors will be patrolling through the Hall until dawn when we will release you back to your dormitories and the Aurors will be guarding the doors from inside and out! I thank you for your cooperation! It’ll be points and detention if you fail to adhere to these rules and impede everyone’s safety in any way!”

“I wonder if the old bat even knows what the word expulsion means,” Hongjoong mused.

You turned to him, aghast. He knew better than to voice such opinions in such a public place! “Ya!”

He shrugged. “You know we’re all thinking it.”

Jongho nodded, “Yeah, if someone opened the doors to the castle tonight to let Black in, or left the room right now to go coordinate with him, they’d just get points off? Please.”

You scrunched your nose. It wasn’t the first time you had all discussed the hypocrisy, inadequacy, and flat-out discrimination that the people in authority had displayed on many occasions, but it seemed more out of place to add that kind of commentary to an already tension-fraught situation and such a long night. As if Seonghwa could read your mind, he replied, “Let’s just talk about it later, guys. Now’s hardly the time, let alone the place.”

Everyone nodded and turned to start setting up their sleeping mats. You watched them go about in a daze, still overwhelmed from all that had happened and all the many conversations flowing around you right now. You didn’t even notice that Seonghwa had left your side; you only noticed when he came back to it.

“Hey, Y/N. What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, noticing everyone else had already sat down on their mats and started playing a game of Exploding Snap. They were so engrossed in their game; they noticed nothing else.

Seonghwa leaned his head down so he could be at eye level with you. His eyebrows were raised, waiting for your answer. You smiled weakly at him. “Oh, nothing…wow, the guys set everything up so fast, I don’t even know where my sleeping bag went.” You made to push past him when he caught your arm lightly with his hand.

He indicated with his head at the end of the row where two empty sleeping bags could be seen just beyond Yeosang was sitting. “Relax, I already put yours out.”

You blushed at the thought of lying down next to him. And the fact that his hand was on you right now. You felt hot all over. Could he feel it?

“Thank you! You didn’t have to. I don’t know where my head is at, honestly.”

His hand on your forearm slipped down to hold your hand. Your heart spluttered in your chest. “It’s okay. It’s been a stressful night.” His brown eyes bore deep into yours, knowing everything that you were feeling but not saying.

You nodded, the feeling of danger and the worry for everyone’s wellbeing rushed back to you. You looked up at him, tears in your eyes. “Yea, it was really scary.”

His finger brushed at the single tear trapped in your eyelashes. “I know. But we’re here. We’re okay. You’re safe.”

Whatever little control you had been struggling to maintain over your stress was lost. Your feelings burst through, and your tears started to fall in earnest. “I was just so scared,” you blubbered. “That something had happened to you. Any of you, but, you down in the dungeons- You were so far away from me- I .. I couldn’t get to you-”

He pulled you into his arms quickly and tucked your head against his shoulder. “I wouldn’t let anything happen to me, ok? Just for your sake. And I wouldn’t let anything happen to you either. I will always protect you. And I will always come for you. You’re safe with me, ok? Don’t be afraid anymore.”

You just nodded and cried against his chest, hoping no one would notice. “You know why Dumbledore threatened points and detention for disobedience?”

You pulled back to look him in the face, both his hands and yours coming up to wipe your tears. “No, why?”

He smirked at you. “It’s because I already tried breaking the rules tonight.”

You gasped in horror. “What did you do?”

He shrugged, smirk still on his lips. “I said I would come for you, didn’t I? I wasn’t lying. I did actually try to come to you. Twice. The first time I just snuck away from the common room right before we were to be escorted out by Snape. I tried to run up to the Tower, but an Auror caught me and took me back to Slytherin before I barely made it 20 yards. Then, I went back to my room to grab my broom and fly to you, but that damn Mrs. Norris blocked me when I tried to escape and started mewing up a racket. So, Snape just kept me at his flank and forced me here.” He smiled at you sheepishly now. “Sorry.”

You stared at him in shock. How could he say sorry? “Don’t you ever ever put yourself in danger for me, Hwa. Please. I mean it.”

His eyes hardened, but his tone was still soft. “Don’t ask that of me, Y/N.” He put his forehead against yours, his arms tightening around your waist. “Please don’t ask me for promises I can’t keep. I will never let harm come to you if I can prevent it. I will never stand by and let you be in danger if I could take you out of it. I will always come for you,” he whispered.

You sighed, sinking further into his embrace. You really couldn’t sway him when he set his mind or heart on something, and honestly, you felt the same. It would be hypocritical of you to ask him for this. “Ok, ok. But, please don’t let me worry then. Promise me you will always be careful. I don’t want to see you hurt either.”

You could hear the smile in his voice as he answered. “Yes, ma’am. Whatever you want.”

“Ya, you two are really pushing old Dumbley’s rule on appropriate behavior.”

You jumped apart to see all the guys looking at you, with expressions varying from deadpan (Hongjoong and Yeosang) to too smiley (Jongho, Yunho, and Mingi) to borderline maniacal smiley (San and Wooyoung).

“You better knock it off before we all in trouble, hyung. Or worse- separated!” Mingi turned in horror to Yunho, as if they weren’t both in Hufflepuff and roommates for the past six years.

“NO! I wanna sleep with Hongjoong Hyung. We haven’t had a sleepover in ages.” San pouted.

“And why do you think that is?”

“Don’t punish me for Wooyoungie’s behavior!”

“Hey, you know you love it.” Wooyoung proceeded to drape himself all over the Ravenclaw, and you started laughing as yet another squabble broke out as he attempted to push the Gryffindor off. How WooSan still had energy in the middle of the night to harass Joong, you would never know. You turned to Seonghwa, the laughter still on your lips, to see him looking at you with a more open expression than he had all night.

“There’s that smile.” His thumb was at the corner of your lip. “I was worried when I didn’t see it.”

You smiled at him even more fully. If he had the presence of mind to flirt with you right now, then surely you weren’t in that much danger. And even if you were, he was here to storm it together with you. You let out a big breath as the last of the tension left your body. “I’m sorry,” you intertwined your fingers with his and he pulled you to where your sleeping mats were. “Won’t happen again.”

And it wouldn’t. You had faced real danger tonight. For the first time, but perhaps not for the last. You knew there were Dark Wizards and that the world was a cruel place, but you would never let your fear paralyze you again. You had strong people at your side to carry you through it, like Honjoong and Seonghwa had tonight, and you could draw strength from theirs, just like you were doing right now from their company and comfort and overzealous hugs.

Seonghwa smiled at you. You felt like he could read your mind, but in reality, he just saw the look of fear melt off your face to be replaced with one of confidence and determination. He couldn’t help himself; he leaned in and placed a sweet kiss on your lips. You kissed him back in earnest, the relief surging through your body almost making you euphoric. Everyone you loved was safe, and there were people you could count on in times of danger. As Seonghwa’s hand twisted in your hair, obnoxious coughing and whistles broke your reverie. You broke apart in surprise to turn to the guys.

Nobody looked particularly surprised, but they had just seen two of their best friends almost make out in front of them for the first time. They deserved an explanation, or an announcement at least. Seonghwa squeezed his hand in yours, and even though you had no idea what to say, you opened your mouth to start somewhere, when Wooyoung interrupted you.

“Save it; we already know.”

You shut your mouth again and looked at them all, head cocked to the side in confusion. “You.. already know?”

At this, San laughed. “Please, do you think we’re stupid?”

Seonghwa sighed, mockingly, “Well-”

“Hey!” “Please! You two have been so obviously in love with each other for years, it was sickening,” Mingi said.

“I thought it was sweet!” Yeosang was your favorite, and here was the reason.

“You know what’s not sweet? Having to hear both of your best friends pining over each other nonstop. For years. I haven’t caught a break since basically the day we were sorted!”

You blushed and peeked a glance at Seonghwa who you were surprised to see was acting shy and raising his fist towards Hongjoong in tiny. You two hadn’t had that conversation yet where you shared when you had started liking the other, partly because you were embarrassed to share the true longevity of your crush. You could barely believe Hwa liked you back- you couldn’t even imagine that he had liked you as long as you had liked him! It warmed your heart though that it had been the same for the both of you.

“No, but seriously,” Jongho piped up, eyes not straying from the game he was still playing with Yunho. “You guys are so obvious. We were just waiting for it to happen.”

“Yeah, we had a bet going and everything,” Yunho added.

“Oh, speaking of, can you tell us your first official day as a couple? I’ve got 10 Galleons riding on this,” Yeosang said.

“You what?”

“Wow, only 10?”

You and Seonghwa turned to each other, mock outraged over two totally separate things. You pursed your lips at him, and he raised his brow before you both burst into laughter. You two had been worrying about how to break the news for seemingly nothing. It wasn’t awkward and the dynamic hadn’t changed one bit with everyone knowing.

You both seeed to have the same realization at the same time. The contentment in his eyes mirrored your own. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, and you leaned into him, more at peace than you had felt in a long time. It was ironic because there was a literal mass murderer likely still on the loose in the very building you and all your loved ones were in, but you felt more secure in yourself and your relationships than you ever had.

It was at that moment that the lights went out and the professors started herding people to their makeshift beds. You joined everyone else and laid yourself down into your sleeping bag. You were so exhausted that you didn’t even have the energy to be embarrassed at the heat of Seonghwa’s body laying right next to you. His hand found yours, and you smiled, staring at the stars of the Scottish Highlands reflected in the ceiling of the Great Hall above you.

Hongjoong was already face down in his bed on your other side. You were just about to lose the fight with sleep when he whispered your name.

You opened your eyes and turned to him. “What?”

He smiled lightly at you. “I just wanted to say I’m really happy for you. For both of you. Congrats.”

You pressed your lips together and pouted at him. “Thanks Joongie.”

He smiled back and shifted to his side before adding in a louder whisper that could carry across to both of you. “And you better not hurt each other. I expect you to take care of each other and be in love and happy together forever, ok?”

Seonghwa chuckled lightly, “Yes, Dad.”

“Ok, ok. That’s all I had to say,” the rest of the guys were giggling when he added in a harsher tone, “Goodnight, everyone!”

All the boys sleepily wished the same. Ten minutes later when everyone’s breaths had evened out in slumber, your thoughts were still rattling around in your head. Joong thought you would last forever, and your boyfriend hadn’t refuted it or been embarrassed. Did he feel as deeply for you as you did him? Not to mention the thought of Hwa’s husky chuckle was still sending shivers down your spine, before they transformed into lightning bolts as he suddenly wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you to his chest.

Your heartbeat spluttered before you could ask him in a choked whisper, “Ya, what are you doing?”

His eyes stayed closed, and he replied calmly. “Getting some sleep. You should, too.”

You could feel the blush emanating from your face and warming the scant space between you. You stared at the line of this throat, inches from your nose, wondering if you should be embarrassed or give into the comfort of his arms. Even though you two had never done anything like this, you couldn’t deny that it felt so right. It felt like home. Your brain wanted to react uncomfortably just because it was something new, but your heart was already calm, and the rest of your body was following as you melted into his heavenly embrace.

His arm at your back rubbed up and down twice before stilling around your waist as his other hand came to cradle your head. “There, just relax, my love. I’m right here, and you’re safe with me.”

You hummed blissfully against his heart. “Thanks, you too, Hwa.” Your words came out jumbled as sleep finally crashed over you.

“Sleep well, Y/N.”

A press of his lips at your hairline was the last thing you remembered from one of the most significant nights of your life.

[timetoletmyimaginationfly]

Mission: Cupid

Nanami Kento x Reader ft. Gojo Satoru

(Song Inspiration: Cupid by Fifty Fifty)

Gojo continued to peer at Nanami. Every time the man heard Nanami pick his phone up, he couldn’t help but peep at the blonde man. He was curious and nosy. The soft gaze Nanami has on his phone along with the smile and quiet chuckles gave him a load of curiosity.

“Who are you talking to?” Gojo asked excitedly. Nanami’s expression changed to a blank one. Nanami picked up his newspaper and started to read. “Tell me tell me tell me!”

“No.” Gojo pouted. Nanami’s phone lit up again and Gojo took advantage of his speed to pick the phone up. “Hey!”

“You talk to her?” Gojo asked. Nanami sighed.

“Yes, but just as friends.” Gojo scoffed, believing that Nanami was just saying it lightly. Nanami knew what he thought. He placed his paper down with a sigh. “If you’re nosy, ask her herself.”

“She doesn’t like to tell me things!”

“I don’t either.”

“Both of you are definitely perfect for each other. I don’t understand why you don’t go out with her.”

“She had a boyfriend.” Gojo smirked and playfully chuckled.

“Ahhh so she had a boyfriend. And now she’s single.” Nanami stood up.

“I’m going to a quieter place,” he said and left the room. After Gojo was sure that Nanami was gone, he left the building to find you. You were outside in the training area, watching Kugisaki and Maki fight.

“Quit getting overconfident Kugisaki!” you yelled. “Alright! Take a break.” You turned around and found Gojo. You smiled and waved at him. “What brings you here?”

“Just roaming around,” Gojo answered. You raised an eyebrow at him. He looked sus. “So you’re single now?”

“Yeah? Did Kento-kun tell you?” you asked curiously.

“Kento-kun? Are you guys dating?” He watched your face turn red. He got what he wanted.

“We’re just friends!” you yelled. Gojo laughed and patted your head. You crossed your arms.

“Whatever you say,” he sang lightly. You sighed and looked at your watch. You turned back to the two students.

“Ready?”

Gojo walked around the school building. He was hoping to find Nanami. After going out shopping a few days ago, he felt like intervening in yours and Nanami’s relationship. He noticed the two of you sitting together in a cafe to eat. He watched Nanami open the car door for you. Nanami would you pull you in the inside of the sidewalk. It was bothering him to no end.

“We’re just friends,” the both of you would answer Gojo.

So this time, Gojo took the perfect opportunity to get you alone. You were reading your book while eating your lunch. Gojo made sure Nanami was on a mission. An easy one because he’s pretty sure that his dear friend would want to return to you.

“Where’s Nanamin?” Gojo asked as he walked closer to you. You bookmarked your book before turning to him.

“He told me he got pulled to a last minute mission,” you answered. “I was going to go but they said they just wanted him? It was weird.”

“Oh I told them that,” Gojo said. You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Why?” Gojo leaned in closer to you.

“I’m planning something,” he said, still remaining in close proximity to you. “He should be returning right about now anyway.”

“How would you know?”

“It’s a mission perfect for students in training.”

“Then what the hell are trying to do?!”

“Trying to get Nanami to confess to you.” You suddenly relaxed and felt yourself blush.

“Y-Y-You…get away from me!” You pushed him away and crossed your arms as you turned away from the laughing sorcerer. You suddenly heard Nanami’s voice. You looked up and watched him run up to you.

“Are you okay?” he asked worriedly. You nodded in response. Nanami sighed irritably when he looked at Gojo. “What are you trying to do?”

“I was hoping you’d get jealous and confess your love for her. Or feelings. Whatever it is you have for her,” Gojo nonchalantly answered.

“You really have nothing else to do right now, huh?”

“Not at all, dear Nanami. Alright, I think my mission is complete. See you guys.” Gojo hid by the tree, curious to what you guys will do now. He could tell that you and Nanami felt awkward now. He just wanted to laugh out loud.

“You’re craving udon right?” Nanami asked. You nodded. “I know a good restaurant. It could be our first official date.”

“I would love that, Kento-kun.”

Now Gojo’s mission is complete.

[lfghughes]

Half My Fault

a/n: hahaha why am i such a simp for these kind of storylines. Also thank you to the anon who requested this. Peep that John ft though, i had to

You had met Nico years ago through a mutual friend and by that you meant you had dated one of his friends. You were all in the same friend group and over the years you had become close to Nico, he had been someone you had come to trust and he genuinely became one of your friends. When you and your boyfriend ended up splitting it rocked the friend group, many of them choosing him in the break up but Nico didn’t play that game. He continued being friends with him but also you.

Your friendship with each other had only grown after that, now you two were spending a lot of time on your own versus being in a group. Then one night things had escalated slightly to a point where you realized there were shared feelings. What you didn’t want was for Nico to lose his friendship with his friend because of this and he also was conflicted about the whole situation so you both decided it was better to remain as friends.

Even though this was decided everyone still thought there was something more there with the way you two acted. You never crossed the line with one another but you were both affectionate. His hand usually finding your lower back when he was walking through crowds with you. Snuggling on your couch or his while watching a movie. But there were never any more kisses or anything past just that.

It worked but slowly over the past few weeks you had noticed Nico distancing himself a little bit and before one of his games you came to learn why. He had stopped by your place after his practice and invited you to his game later. “By the way, I’ve been seeing someone. She’s going to be there tonight too. It’s her first time but I figured you could kind of hang out and show her around so she doesn’t get too overwhelmed.” You smiled and nodded your head at him but there was a dull pain in your heart from his words.

Nico had gotten you both seats close to the tunnel they came out of and you were trying your best in talking to the girl he had been seeing but it was hard. You knew you had no right to be upset or jealous but you were. The game came and went and you were proud of your best friend for playing a good, so much so that he won first star of the night but you saw the way he looked up at her. The way he winked at her as he walked out to the ice and you were sick to your stomach.

Yet you still held yourself together as you showed her where he would be after the game. You felt like you were out of your body, just wanting to be home so you could cry about all of it but you needed to act normal. When Nico came out, he hugged you and then moved on to her before you all walked outside to the parking lot. His arm remained around her as you watched all the little things he did so naturally. The way he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, the way he smiled down at her.

“Hey, we’re all going out for some drinks, want to come? You can ride with us.” Nico told you, turning around to look at you but you shook your head. “It’s kind of late, I’m tired so I’m going to go home.” Before he could try to convince you otherwise you started walking the opposite way back to your car. You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t even see Marino until you crashed into him. “Oh sorry..” You started and he shook off your apology. “It’s okay.” John told you and then his eyebrows furrowed a little. “Are you not going with Nico? We’re all going out.” 

“I don’t feel good, I just need to get home.” A look of concern passed his face as he pointed back at his car. “I can drive you home real quick if you want.” You shook your head at his offer “I have my car it’s fine.” But he was clearly worried about you and wouldn’t drop it. “I can pick you up tomorrow and come get it with you but I don’t think you should drive home if you’re not feeling good. Trust me, I’ll hate if I let you go and something happens.” 

You ended up agreeing with him because you were barely thinking already and so maybe this was the safest option. He dropped you off at your place and you immediately curled up on the couch in the comfort of all your blankets. A hour had probably passed since John had dropped you off when you heard the doorbell ring. Checking your camera because it was late you saw that it was just Nico so you went and opened the door. “What are you doing here?” You asked and he looked at you like it was a ridiculous question.

“You told me you were tired but John told me at the bar he drove you home because you weren’t feeling good. He said he was really worried about you. What happened?” Of course John had expressed his concern, why wouldn’t he? “It’s nothing. I just didn’t drink a lot of water.” Nico knew these were all excuses and he showed it clearly on his face. “This is because I’m seeing someone, isn’t?” Silence was all he got from you.

“That’s not fair, you decided we shouldn’t be something more and you can’t get upset when I find someone.” You held up your hand, stopping him from going on. “We decided not me.” Last you had checked this was something he had agreed to. “I agreed with you because it’s what you wanted but I could care less about what he thinks of me because I’m in love with you.” Silence filled the air between you again, shock at his words.

You closed the space off between the two of you and pressed your lips to his, his hands going to the sides of your face and holding you there. The kiss proving everything he just said and so much more. This felt right, more right than you could have imagined. You pulled away slightly, looking at him. “What about the girl from tonight?” You asked and he scratched the back of his head. “The minute John said something was wrong I went back to her and broke things off. She’s not you.”

[swissboyhisch]

Summer

Liked by y/nhughes, tzegras and others

elhughes: all my kids back together (ft. the non-biologicals) tagged: quinnhughes, y/nhughes, jackhughes and lhughes

view all comments

colecaufield: glad to be back mama hughes

y/nhughes: Love you mama bear 💕

elhughes: Love you too baby bear ❤️

yourbestie: one minute you've moved to NJ then you come back to Mich for the summer. Bruh 😒

y/nhughes: bro you're literally here with me. Don't complain too much

jackhughes: there is always something to complain about when it comes to you to being together

colecaufield: jackhughes I'd being sleeping with one eye open over the summer buddy 🫣

lhughes: Q with the ugly-ass glasses. Matches him perfectly

jimhughes: Why did they all have to come

y/nhughes: you love usssss 🥰

Likes by canucks, eliaspettersson and others

quinnhughes: Double Trouble back together 😈 tagged: y/nhughes

view all comments

y/nhughes: look out Mich 💅🏻

yourbestie: God you're hot

y/nhughes: I need you to clarify which twin you're talking about please. And you better pray to god you answer correctly 👏🏻

user: Quinn is looking fineeeee

user: Can't she just go to Vancouver after the summer. I don't want Huggy alone 🥺

bradytkachuk: Chill Bonnie and Clyde

user: I don't think Brady knows his true crime

y/nhughes: Em hasn't taught you that well it seems bradytkachuk. Do some research next time please 🫢

lhughes: where is my photo creds?

quinnhughes: 🤠

user: y/nhughes is actually so cute

Likes by yourbestie, nicohischier and others

y/nhughes: \\Summer 23//

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yourbestie: Peep that last pic. Soft launching 🙄

y/nhughes: still single babyyyy

yourbestie: not for long 👀

quinnhughes: wtf is going on here?!

tzegras: that's a lovely picture of me you posted

user: Is that Trevor, Jack and Cole?!

y/nhughes: Indeed. Drunk beach walks are fun!

user: I see why Quinn and Jack call y/n the menace

lhughes: Why does no-one in this family give me photo cred?!

y/nhughes: clout chaser 🙄

lhughes: uh you literally have less followers than me

y/nhughes: check again moosey. The devs post boosted me just a tad

user: that it did 💅🏻

Likes by jackhughes, y/nhughes and others

nicohischier: Off-season is finally here ☀️

view all comments

jackhughes: worked hard now hardly working

nicohischier: still working out though

y/nhughes: nerdddd 🤓

user: thank you for gifting us this picture

user: who took it though?

jbratt: boy oh boy this will be a fun off-season

timomeier: 😈

user: That doesn't look like Switzerland

njdevils: oh captain my captain 🥵

user: just random but does y/nhughes have access to the devs insta? That's a very her comment

user: unsure... she's only just been hired so doubt it

user: and suddenly the devs are thirsty

y/nhughes: was not me but can't wait to work with whoever did 🫢🫡

[mchlgayser]

𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 ft jude bellingham

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: You and Jude went on an un-plan date that turns out very well

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff / ✮

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: none

 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: I decided to change my style(?) like different from the previous one and I think I like this one better. But that aside, I hope you enjoy this one, a little inspo from my cutest friend @habuonlylikesu 🤞🏼🤞🏼 she helps me a lot!! This is her idea based on her dream, thx again babes MWAHH <3

(( my navigations ))

'You want a drink?' Jude asked, and stopped the car by the gas station. You raised your head from the book and look at him 'Yeah sure, please get me a coffee!' It's been two hours now. Both you and Jude are on a road trip to Dorset.

It was your idea to visit Dorset after a long time because you wanted to fetch by the Lyme Regis Museum. Jude obviously could not say no to you, after all, it is indeed been a long time since you both go on a date.

You watch him walking inside through the mirror and went back to reading. Moments later, he gets inside and handed you a bag of snacks.

The ride wasn't entirely silent, there was a time when you'd put your book and strike up a conversation with him to keep him out of boredom, and there's a time when you shuffle songs from your playlist and sing along to them with the windows rolled down as the wind light brush against your skin.

Another hour passed, and you are almost at Dorset. You get your phone from the inside of your bag to call your friend who's a worker there 'Hello?' You heard a shuffle from the background 'Hey! I was wondering if you are at work now. Jude and I are going there today, you know because it's been a while...' You heard more shuffling before she finally answers 'Oh my God! I'm so sorry, I thought you were coming tomorrow! I forgot to tell you the museum is temporarily closed for today, they're moving stuff in and out. Gosh, I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you! Are you on your way?' You forcefully chuckle and your eyes move to Jude's 'Nah, it's okay we can find somewhere else to go...' She apologized once more and then hung up

'So...' Jude sighed, hands caressing the steel, and looks around 'Well I guess we can always go somewhere... Okay, I know where to go!' The time is almost 15:00 when you caught up with your destination.

The place wasn't crowded, in fact, only a few couples were there enjoying sites and planning routes. Since it was a weekday, there are not many people. Jude stopped the car after over ten minutes looking for a place to park the mobile and sough in contempt 'I hope you are fine with the beach?'

You were now at Durdle Door, a nice spot for you, a beach and clear blue water lover. Jude brings a mat that you didn't know he had and place it inside the basket.

'We can get through the stairs and went down to see up close!' He suggested, taking your hands in his and walking.

It was a nice, warm, and long walk. You two talk on your way there and just have your best time of the day, it was rather a surprisingly nice date even though it was un-plan.

You two went just near the seaside and far away from the public before he laid out the mat and sat down 'Come! Sit here and enjoy the breeze!' You take off your sandals and sat beside him, knees over your chest.

No utterance was spoken, just the sound of waves crashing and hitting rocks, the blue clear water matching with the sky, the sun peeping from behind the cloud, and the faint sounds of birds squawking.

You two sat there and just enjoyed each other actuality. After some time, you two found yourself cuddling to each other, you in front of him with your knees still to your chest and he had his arms all wrapped around you, occasionally leaving chaste kisses down your neck, to your cheeks, temple and the corner of your lip.

You checked your phone seeing that it passed seventeen, thirty, and the sun was about to set creating a dimmed light of orange hue and a tint of yellowish shade. The sky was painted with birds flying around in groups, the neverending comforting sound of the waves gushing hardly.

'I love this fragrance on you, is this the one I gifted you?' He asked in a whisper, you hummed, and gently placed your head over on his shoulder. His arms are securely around you, never letting go and sometimes he brushes his hand underneath your top caressing your side giving your body a delicate shudder.

The sun set entirely, the night sky embracing you with her warmth, Jude finally let go looking over at you with a lazy smile grazing his lip 'Should we leave? It's freezing.' You nod and get up to clean the place and left the place, hands in hands. The moon witnessed the scene and left with envy.

[optimism-appeared]

Welcome back to my Insane Sheet

Hope ya missed me. This is one of eventually many posts proving I've gone off the deep end. With the help of @sillymushroom17 we present this. Twisted Wonderland x Fnaf AU, not the kind where characters interact, the one where they swap :D

The Aftons (now Diasommnia) : Fun fact, this came to be because when referring to Lilia, Silly accidentally said Wilia

William Afton -> Lilia Vanrouge

Micheal Afton -> Malleus Draconia

Elizabeth-> Silver and CC-> Sebek Zigavolt

The Emily's (Now Ignyhide)

Henry Emily-> Idia Shroud and Charlie Emily-> Ortho Shroud

The first round of Missing kids are the first years! (Minus Sebek)

Freddy -> Ace Trappola, Bonnie-> Deuce Spade, Chica-> Epel Felmier, and Foxy-> Jack Howl.

MC or Yuu, is our vengeful spirit or Cassidy in this AU, being half of Golden Fred Boi with Sebek

Second Round of missing kids (with the Toy animatronics) are Octotrio plus Grim!

Toy Freddy-> Azul Ashrengrotto, Toy Bonnie-> Floyd Leech, and Toy Chica-> Jade Leech

And Grim is Mangle

Then because we wanted to include everyone, the Sister Location peeps!

Ballora->Vil Schoenheit, Funtime Foxy-> Rook Hunt, Ft. Freddy-> Jamil Viper, and Bon Bon-> Kalim Al-Asim

Before we move on to Current Fnaf aka Security Breach time, let me just take a moment to say Leona Kingscholar is Jeremy Fitzgerald!

Security Breach and Ruin time!

Gregory-> Ruggie Bucchi and Vanessa -> Cater Diamond

Cassie-> Riddle Rosehearts

And relating to the theory that in Help Wanted 2 we play as Cassie's dad, in this it's Trey Clover or an older brother/slightly older good friend of Riddle's

And last but not least, Dire Crowley is phone guy! And uh, the rest of the Night Raven staff are random nightguards that die lol.

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

hewwo ! im vv new to fairy tail (started watching it w my bff maybe a year or so ago bc its her fav (then i only got super attached like a month ago)) and i wanna follow a bunch of ft blogs so i can fill my dash up w it! but i havent found many :(( any suggestions? artists especially would be great

Hey hey hey, Sorry it took me a lil bit to answer you, i've been uh, ive been havin one heck of a week.

But ya know, welcome to FT 👉😎👉, glad theres still new peeps jumping into it still.

I can't give you a super definite list, but i can give you a few peeps off the top of my head:

@kiliinstinct <- i gotta of course, plug my good good comrade, my braincell homie. They mostly write (current fic of focus is Flame's Desire, check it out 😏) but they also draw from time to time! And theyre gettin better every day

@pencilofawesomeness <- Pencil's blog is a bit multi fandom but! Their FT art tag has got tons of good stuff in there and i got a particular fondness for how they draw Natsu tbh. (Also they write fic as well, How To Raise Your Dragon Slayer which is their ongoing one *wink wink*)

@silken-sails <- Silky, nother good comrade (even tho theyre british rip😔). Super unique n stylized art style tbh.

@grayseyebrowscar <- Milo my insane comrade. 'Nother combo fic writer and artist. Their fics lean a lil more to silly good times which is always fun lol. Fun fics, fun art (its very shaped) . Win win 👍

@oryu404 <- Stingue expert with top notch colouring 👌👌👌

@celestialrayna <- Another Sting and Rogue expert, has a rlly cute chibi style.

@acnologias-ass <- probs one of the cutest art styles out there.

@zai-doodles <- literally god tier FT character redesigns

@heartonxions <- gajevy and just a team shadowgear afficiando overall. They keep giving Gajeel more piercings and i love it lol

@crowind1 <- the blog for Acnologia art.

Also, of course, I gotta plug the blogs i help run that can help you find other FT blogs easier:

@fairytail-redraw (where lotsa artists take a shot a redrawing the prompts of the month)

@ft-reboost (blog that reblogs art and fic to help give em more love)

@theguildawards (fandom awards event that you can skim through and see the lists of past nominees and winners)

But there's only so many blogs i can remember off the top of my head 😅

So if any other FT artists or fic writers wanna promo their own blog or you got some FT blogs you wanna reccomend as well feel free to reblog this and promo em 👍

It's all about that shameless promo babeeeeyyyy

[dwntwn-strnlo]

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐈 𝙒𝙃𝙀𝙉 𝙄 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐈

w h e n                                                             i

check out my intro on wattpad! (it looks nicer and its easier to read)

CHAP 1

❝as your friend, i mean this in the meanest way possible . . .

. . . when will you ever learn?❞

dts. 

@oneirophobic

@gwenlore

@lvrsparadise

@gracietaylorsversions

@20nugs

@iha8you

🎙️🎙️🎙️

❝girl when i miss you (when i miss you)

i get caught up (all in my feelings girl)

i wanna kiss you (wanna kiss you)

show you some love (love)

show you some love (love)

i wanna show you some love, oh (love, love, love)❞

when i - steve lacy . . . 

𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 𝙄𝙉 𝙒𝙃𝙄𝘾𝙃 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 . . .

❝𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘶𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘥.❞

matthew sturniolo had practically 

grown up with the love for his best 

friend. but he could never speak on 

it as he watched her run away with 

other guys that she claimed were 

the 'one'. but realistically, nobody 

ever stayed. everything hurt him so 

much to the point where the only 

option was to pretend to hate the 

girl in hopes that his unmatched 

love would fade.

OR

𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 𝙄𝙉 𝙒𝙃𝙄𝘾𝙃 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 . . .

❝𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘦𝘢𝘳?❞

every man was the man for vera

prince. she had searched so

desperately to find someone who

genuinely loved her, only to never

see the boy right next to her for 

who he truly was. eventually

seeing those gentle, loving

glances melt into annoyance 

and what seemed like hatred.

never noticing how hard it was

for him to see her in the awful

states she always found herself in.

𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 . . .

VERA PRINCE

( vere . . . )

boyfriend🎙️ariana grande ft. social house . . .

. . . ❝ but you don't want me to see nobody else. ❞

( 🫶🍵😶‍🌫️🦕📸 )

.hers.17.straight.

insta . . . @ veraaaprince OR @ kingvera

( portrayed by alana lintao . . . @alanalintao )

.

.

.

MATTHEW STURNIOLO

( matt . . . )

star shopping🎙️lil peep . . .

. . . ❝ i know that i'm not that important to you. but to me, girl, you're so much more than gorgeous. ❞

( 🦉⛺✍️📽️🪴 )

.his.18.straight.

insta . . . @ matthew.sturniolo OR @ liamneeson4L

( portrayed by matthew sturniolo . . . @matthew.sturniolo )

.

.

.

TRINITY WEST

( triny . . . )

evergeen (you didn't deserve me at all)🎙️omar apollo . . .

. . . ❝ but sometimes, i pray that you fall in love. ❞

( 🦋🥱🧃🙌🐢 )

.hers.18.bi.

insta . . . @ trinity_west OR @ theholytrinity

( portrayed by peyton list . . . @peytonlist )

.

.

.

CHRISTOPHER STURNIOLO

( chris . . . )

mr. brightside🎙️the killers . . .

. . . ❝ it started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? ❞

( 👾🦎🙈📣🎧 )

.his.18.straight.

insta . . . @ christophersturniolo OR @ chrischrischris

( portrayed by christopher sturniolo @christophersturniolo )

.

.

.

NICOLAS STURNIOLO

( nick . . . )

from the dining table🎙️harry styles . . .

. . . ❝ comfortable silence is so overrated. ❞

( 🐈‍⬛🌼🫂📻💫 )

.he.18.gay.

insta . . . @ nicolassturniolo OR @ proudhater

( portrayed by nicolas sturniolo @nicolassturniolo )

.

.

.

JENNIFER FOSTER

( jenny . . . jelly . . . )

name in the sand🎙️lil skies . . .

. . . ❝ when it rains, grab my hand. spell your name in the sand. ❞

( 👻🐿️🖼️🎸🌴 )

.hers.17.pan.

insta . . . @ jennnnyfoster OR @ foster2

( portrayed by jessie mesa . . . @unclejessiie )

.

.

.

MALCOLM SIMPSON

( mac . . . )

gorgeous🎙️taylor swift . . .

. . . ❝ you should take it as a complimet that i, got drunk and made fun of the way you talk. ❞

( 🤖🗺️🙊🕸️🏞️ )

.his.17.gay.

insta . . . @ macsimpson OR @ somanymacs

( portrayed by ryan crouse . . . @ryangcrouse )

𝐀𝐋𝐒𝐎 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 . . .

( @ broghansemrad ) broghan semrad . . . AS . . . troye ivory

( @ madifilipowicz ) madison "madi" filipowicz . . . AS . . . herself

( @ nathandoe8 ) nathan "nate" doe . . . AS . . . himself

. . .

❝he hates me.❞

❝reword that.❞

❝he loves me.❞

𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 . . .

find the playlist here!

when i . . . steve lacy

❝i wanna show you some love❞

. . .

evergreen (you didn't deserve me) . . . omar apollo

❝you know you really made me hate myself❞

. . .

name in the sand . . . lil skies

❝need your love, it's my drug

when I'm down, lift me up

that's enough (that's enough)❞

. . .

destroy myself just for you . . . montell fish

❝i destroy myself, just for you, you

i destroy myself, just for you, you❞

. . .

delicate . . . taylor swift

❝is it cool that i said all that?

is it chill that you're in my head?❞

. . .

i wish i never met you . . . babygirl

❝i wish i never kissed you in my living room❞

. . .

think fast . . . dominic fike

❝think fast, you only get one try

sleep tight, i wanna get sunshine

wake up, you know we got things to see

cheap talks and nothing makes sense to me

she said two's our odd number, if you is involved i laugh❞

. . .

gorgeous . . . taylor swift

❝you've ruined my life, by not being mine❞

. . .

hostage . . . billie eilish

❝i wanna be alone

alone with you, does that make sense?❞

. . .

always been you . . . shawn mendes

❝it's always been you

and you've seen all my darkest fears

like you've known me for a thousand years

the boy who's really underneath

all the scars and insecurities, baby

i swear that you've been sent to save me

you're the one my heart keeps coming back to❞

. . .

if he wanted to he would . . . johnny orlando

❝i'm not like the last guy

he'd disappear for hours

no, he never bought you flowers❞

. . .

all i want is you . . . miguel, j cole

❝'cause being your friend was killing me softly❞

. . .

you get me so high . . . the neighbourhood

❝you're my best friend, i'll love you forever❞

. . .

ivy . . . frank ocean

❝ooh, i could hate you now

its quite alright to hate me now❞

. . .

idfc . . . blackbear

❝'cause i have hella feelings for you

i act like i dont fucking care

like they ain't even there❞

. . .

boyfriend . . . ariana grande

❝you ain't my by boyfriend (boyfriend)

and i ain't your girlfriend (girlfriend)

but you don't want me to see nobody else

and i don't want you to see nobody❞

. . .

flashing lights . . . kanye west

❝as i recall, i know you love to show off

but i never thought that you would take it this far❞

. . .

like i would . . . zayn

❝he, won't love you like i would❞

. . .

right here . . . lil peep, horse head

❝i know that i'm young, but i'm still right here

i dont give a fuck, i love who i love and girl

you're that one, so wait right here❞

. . .

soulmate . . . mac miller

❝what do you want with me?❞

. . .

daddy issues . . . the neighbourhood

❝it's crazy what you'll do for a friend❞

. . .

i just wanna feel your love again . . . montell fish

❝i just wanna feel your love again

i just wanna feel your touch again

but deep down i know you'll leave me every time

but if that's the price i might just turn my eyes❞

. . .

when the party's over . . . billie eilish

❝call me friend, but keep me closer❞

. . .

portrait of a blank state . . . lovejoy

❝we could make such a pretty picture❞

. . .

ultraviolet . . . aiden bissett

❝i'm living and dying, in your ultraviolet❞

. . .

i love you . . . billie eilish

❝maybe won't you take it back

say you were tryna make me laugh

and nothing has to change today

you didn't mean to say "i love you"

i love you and i don't want to❞

"i love you."

...

A/N

so excited 😋